It’s time for another edition of the Nucks Misconduct Roundtable. We get our writers together and ask them a number of questions about the state of this team we’ve been cursed to follow. Sometimes they play it straight, sometimes it’s Westy and Jimmi, but you’ll always get the unvarnished opinions on the Canucks here.
1. The Canucks are a mere 10 points up on Anaheim and Columbus for last place in the NHL and the best odds at winning the draft lottery. Can they actually pull this off?
Westy - Kent has been drinking obviously. The nerve to even asked this question is punishable by ending up on Francesco’s blueberry farm.
If you didn’t get the sarcasm, the answer is no.
jimmi - Can this Nucking team succeed at failing - failing to the top of the lotto? Happened once before - could happen again. However, making up 8 points on those dedicated tankers will be tough. And then, they still have to beat the Bettman Wheel of Misfortune.
Markus - I will say no, because that would be a good thing, and those do not happen to us. I predict we’ll finish third last and pick like fifth. They’re making a hell of a run though.
Beggsy - I wish I was as optimistic as Marcus! The Canucks are currently 6th-worst. I’m pretty convinced that they’ll pass Montreal and Philadelphia in the standings to finish 8th-worst.
Kent- There’s been a lot of signs that they just won’t get any better than they are this season, and we’ve seen when they play against actual good teams that there’s a real gap between the Canucks and their opponents. The problem lies in the schedule. The next two months are littered with games against some pretty lousy teams, including a number against the teams the Canucks hope to pass on their race to the bottom. In the end, it will likely be the same old story: they’re awful, but not awful enough to win the draft lottery and get a game changer.
2. Luke Schenn is (as of this writing, anyway) still a Vancouver Canuck. How’s this going to play out (Where will he be traded to, what’s the return, and does he re-sign with Vancouver in the summer)?
Westy - There are two places I see for Schenn. One is Boston, as they would like help on the bottom pairings. The second option is Pittsburgh, just for the simple fact that this management would trade with their old team.
jimmi - I heard Booston, T-Bay, Laffs, Pens and tOilers are high on Schenn. That’s five 2nd round picks right there - if Alvin & the Chipmunks are shrewd enough to work out a time-share deal.
Markus - Hmm. I will say Tampa for something like a 3rd or a 4th, though it wouldn't surprise me at all if they just kept him because “muh character”. If a 2nd’s on the table, take that and sprint away laughing.
Beggsy - Boston seems less likely now after the Orlov deal. I still do like the idea of the Canucks trading Schenn for a player like Mike Reilly in Boston (signed for $3 million this season and next), or taking on a similarly unfavourable contract in order to juice the return. I also like Florida, Detroit and Pittsburgh as potential destinations.
Kent- Given their recent charge up the standings, I could see a team like Detroit trying to shore things up on the back end, and Pittsburgh definitely isn’t gonna go quietly. Tampa will continue to be the most likely destination, but I wouldn’t rule out Boston even after the Orlov deal.
3. Is there any chance that the Canucks are able to trade Tyler Myers?
Westy - If you get a chance to dump this contract and player, you take it. Don’t try and sweeten the deal...hell, eat a million of the salary for next year.
I don’t think I want to watch another year of “Chaos Giraffe”.
jimmi - He’s an easy peasy trade in the summer after his huuuge bonus is paid by Frankie. Would have to be sent to eastern team that never watches Nucks games. So any eastern team will be hot for tall chaos on skates.
Markus - I’ll put it this way. If they can trade him for literally anything, that’s a legendary deal. But I don't think that’s possible, so lead on tank commander.
Beggsy - They’re gonna need him for the 2024 tank job.
Kent- I suppose anything is possible, and there has been interest from what we’ve seen. I do feel though, that we’re cursed to walk each wretched mile of this contract.
4. Let’s get your thoughts on Phil Di Giuseppe and Christian Wolanin since their callups from Abbotsford?
Westy - I think most prospects on the farm will get a look under Tocchet. Di Giuseppe will always be a bottom 6 guy that could add a spark on the 4th line and fill in on a third line. Wolanin looked better than Myers, but let’s not sign him to any $6 million/yr contracts. Some said he should have made the team in October, but he is another bottom-pairing guy on some NHL teams.
jimmi - Who? Oh, right... Di Giuseppe is in my doghouse atm. This is not the time for garbage goals. (Returned to the AHL by Field Tank Commander Alvin). Wolanin did play better than Myers. Again at the wrong time of the season. See Q1.
Markus - Eh. Wolanin is already like a top 5 defender in this organization. PDG is a classic Guy. He’ll come up, be ok, and people will lose their absolute minds claiming how good he is before forgetting about him after 72 hours. I’ve seen this movie before.
Beggsy - Love PDG’s work ethic (yes, sorry, I sound like Rick Tocchet)...and he deserves to be with the team over at least three guys who played last night. Wolanin, well, I’m happy for him that he’s getting another NHL opportunity. Hasn’t looked out of place in sheltered minutes.
Kent- Zero complaints about either of these guys. PDG’s give-a-shit rating is off the charts, and given some of the passengers this team has had over the past couple years, it’s a refreshing change. Wolanin has been solid, and deserves a shot next season, though the priority should be getting him back to Abbotsford to help them in the postseason.
5- Looking ahead to March, the Canucks have 15 games. Prediction time...
Westy - Watch them have a .500 month and drop the pick down to the 7th-9th area. That’s the type of fucking luck the fans have.
jimmi - .333 baby! Or lower. Please make it lower. No matter how low they go... pick 9 to 11th because Nucks luck isn’t made by mere losses alone - league’s lotto team needs to step in to ensure maximum misery draft after draft.
Markus - They’ll go like, 8-6-1, Tocchet will declare victory and talk about character building and they’ll tank their draft position. Again, I’ve seen this movie before.
Beggsy - Pettersson officially takes the NHL lead in points scored after the All-Star break. JT Miller and Brock Boeser wake up as well now that all the pressure of off and the trade deadline is in the past. Eighth to Ninth worst, HERE WE COME!
Kent- 5-9-1, they’ll sink a spot or two, but ruin it with a run in April.