GAME RECAP #48: Nucks Win - Big Krackin Loss For Tocco - Get Smacked 6-1

What a game! So Canucks.

Now that the new coach bump is over, Tocco gets to find out some of the issues plaguing the Nucks.

Canucks have difficulty with teams that can outskate them. Nucks have difficulty with teams that can defend or pass or shoot. Nucks have trouble with teams above them in the standings.

Nucks have trouble with a lot of teams.

The best summary of this game came early, not just because the game was over early, but because the game was out of reach before it began.

Yesterday, Chicago was Chicago.

Today we are Chicago. — Atty

And worse...

We’re chicago with an added bonus of no Bedard. — Raddy

Tonight the Nucks Tire Fire team defense put on an exhausting display for Tocco - 5 Nucks stuck in their own end over 2 minutes.

LOL! 5 guys converge on puck along boards in defensive zone. What could go wrong? 6-1 — Rob R. Scott

All part of the plan.

New Coaching strategy: Can’t outplay them, out number them — jimmi

OEL’s play may have reminded Tocco why he gave up coaching. Not just OEL had a bad game, or as we say at NM, a predictable Nucking game.

Nucks seemed puck and teammate adverse all night. Not without good reason. Couldn’t trust their teammates (or themselves) to clear the puck out of their zone. No one wanted to go battle for the puck unless 3 other Nucks were there first - not winning the puck battle. Little effort, little pushback, little results.

Predictably normal.

Special News

The Kraken 5-on-5 looked dangerous all night.

Kraken start the game on the 5 on 5 power play. — Raddy

Also... their 5-on-4 power play scored on 2 of 3 chances.

While the Nucking PK couldn’t drop any further in the league’s ranking, the Nucking PP could. Got - stop me if you’ve heard this before in the last 24 hours - nothing in 10 minutes of Kraken rest periods.

Nucks PP has dropped in the ratings to the 16th spot. However, they are tied with T-Bay with the most shorties allowed with 9. Tied in a stat with former champs - that’s something!

Game thread might have been impressed with the coaching change. If it had made any difference.

So, someone remind me, what’s the point of Aquallini having a third coach on the payroll now, if the team plays exactly the same way? — Atty

Points? Don’t we all want more points.

You have to give the new head coach at least some amount of time to imprint his brand of hockey on the team so that they can play the same way anyways. — Raddy

Bingo! This roster has proved an important point again: They’re uncoachable.

As we know, roster construction is the responsibility of the head coach. Hockey Ops department is only there to hire coaches and fire coaches in the most publicly humiliatingly way possible, until team morale improves.

Maybe can set a record for most head coaches being paid at once. — Raddy

GAME HIGHLIGHT

The Seattle arena broke out with a loud chant missing from the ROG last game:

“Bruce, there it is!”

Apparently the chant was started by some visiting Canucks fans and the locals joyfully joined in. Probably the game thread, but no one can hear them over their sobs.

CLIMATE WARMING HILARIOUS TIRE FIRE VIDEO

The 2 Johns are in Seattle to call a Nucking road tire fire game. At least they get paid to watch the Nucks. What’s our excuse?

GAME STATS (Funny, but true!)

	SOG	FO%	PP	PIM	HITS	BLKS	GVA
Canucks VAN	20	44%	0/5	13	20	18	3
Kraken SEA	35	56%	2/3	17	8	15	6

SHOT COUNTS (Only the Krackey ones, it seems)

PLAYER STATS (so many negatives - to take away and burn)

ROAD REGRESSORS

Lazar gets the only goal... except Gnarly steals to pad his stats. Still gets to meet the media.

Tocco calls out the leadership group in only his 2nd presser. No, he wasn’t turning on his lord RutherSith, but the players. Also... like Bruce, he doesn’t understand these players. It’s ok, neither do we.

Yesterday, Canucks play their most dominating game of the year.

Today, Canucks play their most dominated game of the year.

One thing’s clear, Tocchet’s gonna realize he’s this team’s bitch, utterly without knowing whether he gets the good team or the evil team on any given night. $2.7 mill will pay for a lot of gambling therapy. — copey

Meanwhile... back in ROG, CB was prepping himself to be picked by the Nucks - in his prospects game he was a minus -2 tonight with no goals or points. He’s ready to go! Apparently he spent much of the game pasted against the boards and took a penalty in frustration. He’s ready to play for the Nucks!

One more game before the All Razzle Dazzle break. We all need a break. Except Trader-Jim. He needs to use his arrogant Sith powers to make some trades that improve the team. If he trades himself and the chipmunks, we’d be ok with that too.

How’s the new sleek tank looking?

jimmi.cynic

Let’s find out.