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GAME RECAP #16: Nucks Win Scheduled Loss - Get Boourn’d 5-2

One Scheduled Loss Complete - One More To Go

By jimmi.cynic
/ new
Vancouver Canucks v Boston Bruins
1-8-2 Demmers Can’t Save The Team
Photo by Richard T Gagnon/Getty Images

It’s Year 9 into the 10 year Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Tooling Nucks. Who knew it was going to take a full decade for the re-tool to offer re-wards?

Except we’re not there yet. Not nearly.

And... this year’s re-tooled Nucking team has a worse record than last season’s horrible start. By game 16 last year the record was 5-9-2. This year it’s 4-9-3. Regressing to the mean? That’s just mean.

Can we cast a hopeful gaze to 2023-2024 season?

Doesn’t matter. Nucking hope is only hopeful in mid-summer. At a mid-summer rum soiree at the last sip of Westy’s All-You-Can-Fall-Down drinking game.

LOSING LIKE THE 4th WORST TEAM

Sure, this was a scheduled loss - Boourns have won every one of their home games so far, but why oh why do these players keeping making the same unforced errors? And a few new ones. Even Demmers taking penalties. Got some way to catch Myers’ team leading 10.

Myers took 3 of the Nucking 6 penalties in this game. Stepped up to fill Pearson’s clumsy skates.

Demmer’s fall from one of the best in the league last season to the 2nd worst goalie this season is kind of a shock. Maybe he’s trying to fit in with his teammates’ effectiveness.

To be fair, the Nucks had some good work in the 1st and didn’t get out to a multi-goal lead early. They began the loss late in the 1st and managed to not lose the loss all game.

Why did Bruce make Kuz a healthy scratch? One of the top Nucking goal scorers. As a rookie! Not fair, despite the rookie mistakes in CoTU. Unlike Bess who has no goals.

PP RULES

The goals - the only goals - the Nucks scored were on the PP. So that’s good.

I do have to chuckle that the Canucks have scored 2 PP goals against the Bruins PK — Westy

Just 2 goals on 6 chances tho. At this point the Nucks need a 99.9% effective PP.

The Nucks “legendary” PK gave up 2 goals to null out the Nucking PP

As ever we’ll let the game thread sum up the game as it didn’t happen.

Glad I missed this one. Is Bruce still coach by the time they return?

Don’t think so. Really don’t know how much longer this stuffshow can go on.

Ratfuckface scored on us too. fuuuuuuuuuuuck — copey2

VIDEO B-ROLL

The 2 Johns muster more enthusiasm for the game, than you know... the team they’re covering.

GAME Booo’d STATS

SOG FO% PP PIM HITS BLKS GVA
Canucks
VAN
 31 36% 2/6 22 16 15 6
Bruins
BOS
 32 64% 2/6 32 15 13 7

PLAYA STATS

# Forwards GP G A P P +/- S PIM PIM SOG HITS BLKS GVA TKA FO% TOI PP TOI SH TOI PP GW
6 B. Boeser 0 1 1 1 -1 3 0 3 1 0 1 0 17:15 6:41 --:-- 0
8 C. Garland 0 0 0 0 -3 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 17:06 3:04 --:-- 0
9 J.T. Miller 1 0 1 1 -2 2 0 2 4 2 0 1 0 22:58 6:55 1:37 1
15 S. Dries 1 0 1 1 -1 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 71 11:13 3:02 --:-- 1
18 J. Studnicka 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 2 0 0 100 11:14 2:36 1:26 0
21 N. Hoglander 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 10:14 --:-- --:-- 0
40 E. Pettersson 0 0 0 0 -1 3 0 3 0 2 1 1 33 21:08 6:12 4:01 0
53 B. Horvat 0 0 0 0 -2 5 0 5 0 0 0 0 38 23:19 6:15 3:47 0
65 I. Mikheyev 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2 0 0 2 0 18:36 3:02 3:48 0
81 D. Joshua 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 12:04 --:-- 1:01 0
88 N. Aman 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 12:11 --:-- 1:48 0
92 V. Podkolzin 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 0 1 2:05 --:-- --:-- 0
# Defense GP G A P P +/- S PIM PIM SOG HITS BLKS GVA TKA FO% TOI PP TOI SH TOI PP GW
2 L. Schenn 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 5 4 3 0 0 16:59 --:-- 4:48 0
23 O. Ekman-Larsson 0 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 19:12 2:49 1:34 0
43 Q. Hughes 0 1 1 1 -2 3 2 3 0 0 1 0 22:40 6:27 1:22 0
44 K. Burroughs 0 0 0 0 -1 2 5 2 3 1 0 0 17:45 --:-- 4:23 0
57 T. Myers 0 0 0 0 0 1 6 1 1 0 0 1 18:08 0:04 2:15 0
74 E. Bear 0 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 1 4 0 0 17:42 0:35 3:02 0
# Goalies GP REC GA SV SA S EV PP SH SAVE-SHOTS SV% PIM TOI GAA
35 T. Demko -- 27 31 19–21 7–9 1–1 27–31 .871 2 58:43

THE MASS DEPRESSORS

Burrs is back in the lineup. Yay! Sacrificed his body and face. To the circling media.

Bruce is still the coach of your those Vancouver Canucks. And even he might be wondering if coaching this roster is worth the cost of sanity. Not liking his Green side-step dance - seen that before.

What happens next?

Another scheduled loss on Tuesday.

What about after that?

More scheduled losses against LA, Swollen Nights, Avs and probably the Caps.

No more wins this month? Fine, you can pencil in one against the Sharts.

We had hopes expectations apprehensions the JR Dream Team could turn this franchise around. Maybe they will. In 2024. Or 2025.

Meanwhile... our Nucking patience has expired. In 2015.

The NM Department of Masochism is looking for expanded facilities to keep up with Franny’s grand vision for screwing over Vancouver’s hockey fans.

Good Times!

Or are they?

Poll

Can JR’s Strategy Turn This Team Around?

This poll is closed

  • 31%
    I could tell you - but it’s too early for so many expletives.
    (6 votes)
  • 10%
    Yes, has a secret strategy to crush Franny and sell franchise cheap - To NM. Or RR.
    (2 votes)
  • 57%
    It’s A Brilliant Strategy - Tanking For Bedard
    (11 votes)
19 votes total Vote Now

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