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Contracts. We’re Talking Contracts (& Meaningless Hockey)...In Vancouver

Will Hughes and Pettersson accept team-friendly deals?

Edmonton Oilers v Vancouver Canucks Photo by Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images


We wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for your Vancouver Canucks & those moments.

Well, the real ones.


From Naslund going coast to coast vs Ottawa on what made the school night a vacation, to Salo x2 in San Jose while being surrounded with the 10’s and 10’s of people that are still just right there, and to Raffi “just didn’t get it’ Torres in game one against...

Sorry, I just broke my own “don’t talk about 2011” rule.

The more and more these moments are viewed through my 2021 edition of the Neurolink, (the same one I had installed the other day on West 4th Ave thanks to the good people at Tesla), the more and more I realized how sort of blessed I’ve had it being a — for the most part — unsuccessful fan of the SpOrtZ?!!#@$%#!!

Not that-that long ago, I hit dopamine levels of 9000> because the main attraction in the city was doing what? Being good at playing hockey. P l a y i n g h o c k e y and I had to do, what, push a button and sit and sit and sit and sit.....

Nowadays, games are at all-time levels of just being meaningless escapism.

Imagine Away

When the contracts of both Quinn Hughes & Elias Pettersson get signed, sealed and tweeted, there's a chance onlookers will be a little surprised at the numbers.

The fact of the matter is (let’s be honest and let’s be real people, this is MAJOR) great contracts win championships.

The other fact of the matter is my city deserves a couple of team-friendly deals after the disoriented laceration to their beloved salary cap which again, was dealt by those who lay pen to paper waste at Rogers Arena.

Nonetheless, on the ice hockey side of things, something tells me that again, we will be surprised, in a spectacular way, by this still-very lucrative outcome involving future & kinduh present already all-timers. That same something also put in the hope that even in this player empowerment era in the world for SpOrtZ!@#, Quinn and Elias genuinely understand and fully appreciate the lustre in companion-like deals.

Now to take it up a notch, you should be arriving to the part of the edition where you learn about my predictions on how these contracts look. You want the numbers and for sure, this is your time we’re talking about, you deserve them!

But as stated several times in the past, I’m just @kylebhawan, a part-time researcher for your Vancouver Canucks + at this point in life, I hate numbers. I hate data. I hate predictions.

It’s all just so unbelievable.

That Badass

I think it was the other day? Right?


That day was unusual. It all started Friday morning. That same Friday also happened to be day #1 of what was a successful retreat with the family dog, Loki.

It’s been ages since the two of us spend consecutive long days together and the need for it was at a WARNING level after I realized the levels of unconditional love I sent to Loki was really I-feel-bad-for-you conditional love.

If you saw how phony I was, you would have called the beautiful people at the SPCA.

Anyways, hockey right?

Oh, that unusual Friday. We went for a stroll and happened to find this wannabe dirt road in Whalley, British Columbia and just like that, it happened.

Down from the lone tree came a lady with an old purple sweater and let me tell yeah, she wasn’t happy to see someone under the age of 29.


“Hiding behind my human rights motherf*cker.”

“WhAt?!?” I questione...but before I could complete my point of view, the answer came to sight.

“Eat some more fruit and stfu!!!!! vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooom” was the last “he should of saved it for the podcast” thing Billy Brar shouted before he flew by on some unmotorized scooter. The machine shined as if it was made in 2003.

I think it was a Razer.

“That has to be Razer. I just has to be!!!”

“No you imbecile, it’s the latest form of Covid-19. The #P1. I heard a Dr. called it a......”

“Yeah yeah yeah, a wildfire. I seen the tweet Lady, Yenno I part-time cover the Canucks and have a podcaaa”

That podcast with the dumb name. Yea we “know”. Can you just get out of here your blocking my life and for f*cks sakes, wear a damn mask!”

“I am wearing a mask.”

“Beautiful, I thought I was seeing things.”

“You thought you wer...”

“So long now I have trees to climb.”

This is why I’ll always love and cherish walks with my dog.

But How?

So that same team that has only 4 players on their active roster who haven’t got COVID will have to resume play once healthy ready-to-go and compete in 19 National Hockey League games in 17 days?

You call it ludicrous and I’ll state that it’s dumb but they’ll (well, some of the professional hockey people) say it’s just part of the job.

No Seriously, How?

Even though we live in a time where COVID is on an absolute heater, this whole notion that the Canucks will CoMpEte in games has to stop right? At some point?

What do all the other teams need from the Canucks? This low-high score has to be fortunately unbreakable. Does the rest of Canada really need someone to play? Is there not anyone smart enough to move some puzzle pieces around, compromise some integrity whatever the fuck that means, and have this all work out for the rest of Canadia’s division?

How bout those fancy stats and data collectors out there. Those genius’s have to have the ability to find the equation and miraculously, find the answer on how to avoid meaningless hockey up here in the north.

I jus dun juhhs cannnt...I just can’t see this happening.


Let’s say meaningless hockey does return to the city of Vancouver....

How can we, the people not root for victory and success once the possible reveals itself under it’s mask and your Canucks are playing haaaaackey again? Here is this team, that represents uhhh, the place you live and yenno, let’s you escape every now and then, here’s this team just strapping up the skates and hitting pucks right after being pandemic-ed by the *****.

If they end up doing this, then well yeah, GO CANUCKS GO. For real, no way I could be that big of a piece of sh*t. I mean it’s possible but not after some of this and some of that.

Ahh, yenno, while I sip on some Japanese, it uhhh, has me about to say this. If they do this, just play hockey again, I ain’t shaving till the seasons over.

Family First

[Call someone you love]

Trevor, if your editing this and are free to share, describe in 8 words what it would be like to celebrate your birthday without your beautiful wife and ever more beautiful (sorry Trevor’s wife) baby girl.

Editor’s Note: Unimaginable. Birthday’s are for sharing love. Fuck COVID.

Listen To This

It helps.

Sort of.

Just isn’t right

This city’s news is this city’s news.

I’ll See you in 2022

The people. That’s what I miss in this world.

I Saw You In 2018

If a pal is reading this and you also happen to be a pal who was with me on this unimaginable night, can you confirm that we purchased these tickets at less than 40 dollars a pop WAY-early in the regular season.

We saw the writing on the wall for the greatest in team history right around the time those two became completely aware that this was it for Vancouver, success, and hockey to all coexist and we capitalized on what months later, became the hottest ticket for an event on the West Coast of Canada since 2011.

The nature that the twins had at that time in their career stemmed almost completely for their dreams to win and more importantly, I think, win in Vancouver. Once the inevitable became the truth and the Canucks offered little for victory, the future-HHOF’s called it quits and in game #81 of the season delivered drama, excellence, and another moment.

Best Luongo Memory

I’ll tell you when he’s off the books.


Been fortunate to conversate with so many and in doing so, I’ve picked up on the chaotic way your goals could be reached.


I’ll podcast about this later tonight.

Don’t be a....

Okay, that same something tells me it's a combined 14 million and it’s also longer than you think.