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RECAP #12: NUCKS Beat Themselves Easily - Habs Easily Beat Them 6-2

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Now NM wants to beat them too

NHL: Vancouver Canucks at Montreal Canadiens
Holtzi Has An Oopsie
Eric Bolte-USA TODAY Sports

Nucks learned their lessons last week. New lessons this week are harder; learn better.

The unexpected win on Saturday in the Peg was all the Nucks needed. So... why show up for this futility on ice folly in Montreal?

Don’t know. Don’t care. And neither do the Nucks.

From the their best game of the season to their worst road game of the season. Is it any wonder roller coaster metaphors are so popular in NucksNation.

First there were a few issues with this game.

  1. It’s Monday. Nucks hockey is not meant for Mondays. No, really.
  2. It’s an afternoon game - by wet coast time - on a Monday. Monday afternoon Nucks games and rainy days are not good game thread companions.
  3. It was raining on the wet coast all day. Even the clouds were crying over this travesty of an alleged pro hockey team.

THE GOOD:

  • The game is over. The pressure of extending a 4 game win streak is over.
  • Beagle gets a goal. Too little too late, but still...
  • Gaud helped himself to a goal - as penance for his PP own-zone turnover that created the GA.
  • Could have been worse. (don’t ask how - just know it could have been)
  • Nucks play the Sens twice next month.
  • Only have to play the Habs 5 more times this season. How good is that? (see below)

THE BAD:

  • Have to play the Habs 5 more times this season. Bring up the Taxi, the Uber and the Beer squads. Current roster has been fully compromised by Claude.
  • Have a shaky 1st period on the road. That’s not so bad. Only 3-1 after 1. How it got to 3-1 that is very bad.

Let the game thread try to explain what I can’t.

good defense, team

way to leave Suzuki standing around like a tourist 1 foot in front of the crease — radivel

Pete was the last of the Nucks back checkers and if he’d cared to hustle might have saved that goal... but was PO’d because he was thinking offence before the Montreal blueline turnover turned the play the other way. The bad way.

Not one for apologies...

And I’m sorry

but Braden Holtby needs to make a big save somewhere, sometime. The second goal and third goal were both stoppable pucks. If we just wanted a goalie to stop the easy ones, we could hire a tall fat guy and pay him a few grand to stand in the net. — Twitchy

From the net out it was...uh...

Well

That was a crappy start. — Westy

In this game, it’s not just the start that’s bad...

Well then

nothing like a giveaway, odd man rush and a goal against one minute in. — Twitchy

Enough of the bad parts. Although we kinda wish their more of those than...

THE FUGLY:

  • 2nd period Collapocolypse? Check.
  • More road turnovers than Ottawa? Check.
  • Worst game of the year for the 1st line? Check.
  • Worst game of the year for Holtby? Check.
  • More than 7 Turnovers? Check. 11 to be exact. Worse... the Habs baked 17 for the guests, but Nucks needed 177 Hab turnovers to build an appetite for getting this game to OT.

That’s the short list. The full big ass game thread list:

Let’s see

Powerplay: Ass

Passing: Ass

PK: Average

Goaltending: Ass – average

1st Line: Ass

Defense: Ass plus hole

Virtanen: Full Jake

Give a Fuck Level: minimal

Hoglander: Little Pepper Pot but still ass

Yup, it’s Canucks. — Twitchy

Because Westy granted permission to post his astute analysis and my temper tantrum is making it difficult to type...

The early game is wasted

as the Canucks defense craps the bed. Jimmi you can quote me here.

The Canadians are better at forcing turnovers at the offensive blueline. Green has to have a better breakout system for these players because they can’t seem to pass it under pressure. They can’t seem seem to skate it out against a speedy Montreal team. — Westy

Top line looked terrible

how quickly it disappears. JT Miller looked like a pylon. — Westy

Not even the 2 Johns can chew their way through this one. (watch, but turn off the sound and close your eyes)

GAME STATS (Déjà Vu All Over Again)

SOG FO% PP PIM HITS BLKS GVA
Canucks
VAN
29 49% 0/3 6 30 9 11
Canadiens
MTL
40 51% 1/3 6 26 13 19


PLAYER STATS (Look for the tin lining)

# Forwards GP G A P P +/- S PIM PIM SOG HITS BLKS GVA TKA FO% TOI PP TOI SH TOI PP GW
6 B. Boeser 0 0 0 0 -3 3 0 3 1 0 0 0 16:55 4:12 --:-- 0
9 J.T. Miller 0 0 0 0 -3 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 100 18:33 4:12 1:19 0
18 J. Virtanen 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 3 5 0 1 1 14:21 1:30 --:-- 0
20 B. Sutter 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 3 1 1 50 14:09 --:-- 3:01 0
36 N. Hoglander 0 0 0 0 -1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 14:06 1:48 --:-- 0
40 E. Pettersson 0 0 0 0 -3 1 0 1 2 0 0 0 50 15:22 4:12 --:-- 0
53 B. Horvat 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 3 1 0 0 0 48 17:53 4:12 --:-- 0
64 T. Motte 0 1 1 1 1 3 2 3 7 0 0 2 0 14:16 --:-- 1:31 0
70 T. Pearson 0 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 7 0 2 0 17:34 1:48 2:23 0
71 Z. MacEwen 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2 1 0 0 0 10:48 0:18 --:-- 0
83 J. Beagle 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 56 14:50 --:-- 2:12 0
96 A. Gaudette 1 0 1 1 -1 1 2 1 1 2 0 0 50 11:20 1:48 --:-- 0
# Defense GP G A P P +/- S PIM PIM SOG HITS BLKS GVA TKA FO% TOI PP TOI SH TOI PP GW
8 J. Benn 0 0 0 0 -1 2 0 2 0 0 0 0 15:56 --:-- 2:09 0
23 A. Edler 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 20:48 --:-- 4:18 0
43 Q. Hughes 0 0 0 0 -2 6 0 6 0 0 1 1 19:56 4:12 --:-- 0
57 T. Myers 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 1 2 2 0 0 20:05 --:-- 2:18 0
63 J. Chatfield 0 0 0 0 -1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 17:25 --:-- --:-- 0
88 N. Schmidt 0 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 20:30 1:48 1:41 0
# Goalies GP REC GA SV SA S EV PP SH SAVE-SHOTS SV% PIM TOI GAA
49 B. Holtby -- 34 40 30–34 3–4 1–2 34–40 .850 0 60:00


The Canucks have managed to become the Habs’ western Sens, the smoked meat of Montreal, Foie Gras Poutine with sticks.

The Nucks play was so bad, so stupid, so the week before last.

They knew what to do. Play like they did against the Jets.

Manage the puck. Be hard on the puck. Play team D. Play D. Mind the Gap. Mind the minder.

But noooooo.... they had to go the full Larson.

Garry Larson was a Nucks Hockey Analyst Before He Quit Due to Nucking Work Conditions
Gary Larson

What is there left to say... the 3rd period? Maybe tomorrow.

well, I’ve had enough

on top of sucking badly, they also have terrible luck — radivel

Time for some pithy repartee or grunted excuses...

The Montreal media frenzy isn’t as viscous as the Montreal goal frenzy.

At least it can’t get any worse. The Nucks don’t face the Habs again this year. Instead, due to Covidian health and safety guidelines, especially Nucking fan mental safety, believe the league will postpone the remaining Habs vs Nucks barely-farming team until late in the season. In 2023.

If belief in NHL Mercy Rules isn’t strong enough, perhaps the Nucks can just play like a hard-to-play against team and lose tomorrow night with dignity having fought the good fight. Much preferable to getting paid millions to play sloppy beer hockey that makes us spit beer and venom on our screens.