GAME RECAP #25: NUCKS WIN! Multi-Stupid Penalties Award! Also Lose Game 4-1

It’s Saturday. That means Nucks LIVE PK practice. The Nucks need more PK practicing. And we know practice makes perfect. Just not for the Nucks.

Nucks PK is living proof that practice does not make perfect. — Raddy

Doesn’t matter.

What matters is that leadership level Miflering can lead the team to possibly the worst 2nd period in the ROG. In at least a week or two.

The game in a nutshell: Very tough indigestible nut.

1st period - didn’t play well enough - lucky to have Demko to preserve the tie.

2nd period - stupid, stupid penalties - maybe the Motte one was a weak call... but the rest... stupid is a 4 letter world.

3rd period - a couple of pretend comeback chances and the ROG crowd took over the game - wanted to takeover the rink, but the refs probably would have put thousands in the box without a thought of social distancing.

I can’t describe the stupidity of the plays made by the Nucks. Sure, there were a couple broken D-sticks during the PKs... but... so many stupid penalties.

What does the official record tell us.

Tells us Nucks spent a PK-year 3 against 5. The Nucks PK 3-on-5 isn’t a good look at anytime. For extended time? Worse.

First, Tanev and Fedler could block shots. The current D try to block shots, but there’s a difference between blocking and deflecting. Just ask Demmers.

3 of the Pen goals were off Nucking defenders. A couple off OEL and one off Schenn. To be fair Schenn was desperate to keep his goal streak going.

12 shots on net from the Pens with 2 goals on the endless 5-on-3. 2 goals from the mid-pack Pens PP that has struggled recently. Not recently enough, dammit. Pens outshot Nucks 22-5 in that year-long 20 minute span called the 2nd period.

What NM now calls: The Penalty Period.

To be fair... early in the 2nd when the Podz deflection on the OEL shot tied it up, the Nucks had some push and might have got the go ahead goal. Might have... if it wasn’t for the Milfering penalties that led to such excessive success.

Now succeeding at losing the game. — Raddy

Only down 3-1 after 2, a comeback was possible. Just like getting to global net-zero is a possibility in our lifetimes. The latter is still more likely.

I’m out... my blood pressure is going up every time one of about half the players on the team are on the ice. Good god damn benning needs to be fired. And tarred and feathered. — Twitchy

Fire Benning? Franny is going to that. Stat. June 2023.

THE WELCOME HOME FUGLIES

Nucks PK through 25 games is the Worst in League History.

Not just in post lock-out history. In the entire sordid history of the NHL, no PK has been this bad through the first 25 games of a season.

It’s not that the Nucking PK is so terrible because they’re missing key penalty killers - which they are. Or because the PK defenders chose sticks Eddie left in his locker. Worst PK in history not just because of used Fedling sticks, but because the combo of non-optimal players and sub-optimal coaching/execution is bringing record results.

No, really.

Our children’s children’s children - while wondering how so much ice could be formed in one place - will look back at this Nucks PK record as the most amazing failure in professional hockey since the 1970s when certain unnamed teams joined the NHL and crushed hopes for decades.

Bess looks like he’s skating hurt - watching his shot hurts too - on those rare occasions when he decides to shoot. Is Brock too slow to play in the modern game? Pete recorded no shots on goal. Got a nice bar though. Made a few decent defensive plays. Bo didn’t make many good defensive plays - especially in the 3rd. Mifler? Took 2 consecutive careless tripping penalties - which as the leader of stupid penalty taking was joined in the Myers summer cottage by Myers, Motte and the Poolman.

And to put an exclamation mark on the 2010 ROG frenzy, Syd got the last goal of the game.

This frenzy was different tho. This frenzy was an outpouring of spontaneous anger and frustration chanting “FIRE BENNING!”

We were promised a better team with better promises that this season the Nucks would play to win the last playoff spot.

Instead we got a Benning-built .360 team. JB didn’t take the time in the summer to consider getting a backup center in case Sutz was hurt (which is almost always). Or left-side D that could kill penalties. In pro sports you kinda want to plan for unfortunate eventualities. JB must have missed that section in the GMing for Idiots brochure.

See it again. Fun!

GAME STATS (special results)

	SOG	FO%	PP	PIM	HITS	BLKS	GVA
Penguins PIT	44	57%	2/6	8	16	15	2
Canucks VAN	23	43%	0/3	24	18	21	3

SHOT COUNTING TOO FAR (so many shots against)

PLAYER STATS (EOL/Podz combo gets a goal - EOL gets 2 deflections - for the Pens)

HOME DEPRESSORS

Horrid loss and Capt’n Bo gets to face the happy Vancouver media.

In the home Green room, where Westy says there is no home room available, the mood is killing time with queries Greener wanted penalized.

The longer Franny waits to make front office changes, the worse it gets.

The more games the Nucks are doomed to play with the lame duck GMJB/Weisbrod combo, and Green/King/Baumgartner taking the spittle, the deeper we’re doomed to sink into the flood plains of Doomcouver.