Guess what? The Nucks lost another game.
Surprised? Oh come-on... feign a little pretend surprise.
Only a few days ago we had this game penciled in as a win. For the Pens.
Is it any surprise the NM post editor does not permit the use of the or any sarcasm font?
I'm so surprised they don't allow that!
In a game where the outcome was certain, as certain as can be in these uncertain times, there was a little wrinkle in the regularly scheduled dismal display of Nucking semi-pro hockey.
Do you know what it was? Me neither.
Actually, I do. And you will be either shocked, nonplussed or plussed about it.
Your Vancouver Canucks didn’t give up the 1st goal of the game in the 1st period on the PK!
I know, right. Pretty impressive.
Instead your Nucks, because they aren’t mine anymore - Wait! They’re not yours either!
Oh right, they’re Franny’s Canucks. We’re just along to watch years and years and years of mismanagement of a near billion dollar pro sports franchise.
Anyways... neither your nor my Nucks gave up the 1st goal of the game in the 1st.
THE PREDICTABLY FREAKIN’ FUGLIES
Instead they gave it up 49 seconds into the 2nd. On the PK.
With Myers taking away Demmer’s view of the shot. Of course.
Myers is not a good PK D-man. Worse, he almost put Miller on the Faery Farm with a hard clearing attempt into Miller’s back on another PK. Myers pretends to block a shot on the PK, but rarely ever blocks one. He was playing a little better this season in some games, but this was his worst yet. Even worse, Myers was horrible in the offensive zone - a place he shouldn’t be when the other team goes up ice - or maybe he should.
Fine, time to stop ragging on Myers. But first... Myers going O-zone-deep puts pressure on Pete at the Pens blueline. Pete bobbles the puck, Pens go the other way. Now down in the hapless tirefire zone, Myers is standing behind the Nucking net. Huggie passes to a spot he might have expected his defense partner to be - if he’d looked. Maybe Huggie has given up all hope as well. It’s 2-0 Pens.
Poolman made a stupid play at the end of his shift after a successful PK. He’s tired, carries the puck into the Pens zone. Good work. Smack it into the corner and go have a rest.
Nope. Instead he makes an unexpected drop pass to Hoagie - scooped by a Pen and it’s a 3-on-1 rush the other way for another Pen goal.
Nucks had a little pushback in the 3rd, because the Pens backed-off with their insurmountable 3-0 lead.
Pens held a 3-1 high danger chance advantage.
That's so surprising.
When I was asking for more shots, I meant for our team. — copey
But still... the Nucks didn’t get shut out. So a shout out to Bo! (who hadn’t scored in 8 long games)
Backhand by the captain goes shelf! pic.twitter.com/BKYkbgrnZK— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) November 25, 2021
Wanna watch all the Nucking bobbles, gaffs, turnovers and lack of intensity all over again?
Tough luck. He were go...
GAME STATS (stop reading now)
SHOTS (trying not to take cheapshots... because every Nucking shot is so expensive)
PLAYER STATS (another great performance from Demmer wasted)
|#||Forwards||GP||G||A||P||P||+/-||S||PIM||PIM||SOG||HITS||BLKS||GVA||TKA||FO%||TOI||PP TOI||SH TOI||PP||GW|
|#||Defense||GP||G||A||P||P||+/-||S||PIM||PIM||SOG||HITS||BLKS||GVA||TKA||FO%||TOI||PP TOI||SH TOI||PP||GW|
Hey, it’s another road loss and another...
The single Nucking goal scorer, Capt’n Bo goes toe to tongue with the media.
“It’s got to come from within. It’s got to come from us in the room. At the end of the day, we’ve got to get the job done.”— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) November 25, 2021
Bo Horvat speaks to media after falling on the road to the Penguins#Canucks | @theprovince pic.twitter.com/XkwL9kCJlY
Chasing words around the zoom room, it’s Miller time - for team buy-in!
Westy’s nightmare (and now ours too), the Green room is back on the road. Making the best deployment of old excuses (not players) in front of the noisy media.
Green is earning his millions now. Every team in the league, probably even the tankers in the desert, is better than the team Trav coaches. He seems frustrated, defensive and despondent.
Fortunately, those millions can hire better therapists. NM is despondent and frustrated too. But we can’t even hire better rum. At this rate of Nucking suckage, we’ll be lucky to afford a cardboard box of porch-climber in the spring.
This game was so entertaining I gave up and helped my daughter with her Ancient History homework. Right now I’m pretty sure some zombi corpse Babylonians who’d never worn skates before could beat this team. — copey
There’s a list of things that Nucks need to fix. It’s really long.
It’s so long, that it’s simpler and quicker to mention the things that are going well.
Demmers and Clarke are at the level the other players and coaches need to be. But that’s a gapping abyss of difference that probably won’t be closed this season. Or next. Or the one after.
Every other part of the team, players/coaches and managers are failing. And flailing around before our weary eyes. Many here - old people, so I’ll type s_l_o_w_l_y - are having ‘97-’98 flashbacks.
That season the Canucks fired coach Renny and GM Pat Quinn and hired coach Iron Mike (barf!) and the His DoucheMess (projectile barf!), to be made Captain DoucheMess (uncontrollable projectile barfing!).
There’s no quick fix - not even if Green and JB were fired, could their replacements guarantee more success this season.
So... how can the Nucks fix this historically hysterically horrible season?
If I were FA I would clear out the offices, bring in all new people and do a hardcore tank to start a proper rebuild with a top 3 pick. That all sounds good until you remember even if they finish last, they’d still drop as far as they possibly could in the lottery. — Kent
If I were FA, I’d sell the Nucks to MLSE. At least the Nucks would get better reffing and the Laffs would have a prospect team out west to pick clean, then sell to Fenway for a tidy profit.
It’s obvious that Franny has lost our confidence to act as a good steward of the franchise. About 8 years ago. Now it’s just comically sad how well JB sold his plans to Franny and how badly JB’s plans have panned out. Or maybe the plans were really bad and everything worked out as well as planning permitted.
Why should we Nucking fans care anymore about a team that we’ve cared deeply about for years, decades? What have the owners, managers, players shown us this season that they’re willing compete at even an average professional hockey level?