Did you feel that? Hockey Afternoon In
Canada Detroit. Me neither.
This was a regularly scheduled loss. What? It’s a fine NHL Schedule & Loss Command tradition. This tradition is mainly focused on ensuring as many Nucks road losses early against the near Center of the Universe teams as possible.
It’s the 3rd game in 4 nights - or as we call them, afternoons. It’s the 2nd game in as many
nights afternoons. Even with the fresh young faces, actually because of the fresh young faces, the win in Philly meant celebrating long enough to lose in Motown.
But jimmi, you say, Detroit is a terrible team - Kent even said this was a guaranteed Nucking win. I know, but Kent no longer works for the warranty department of NHL SureThings® - the NHL is a parity league - they even have the tilted reffing to prove it.
Fine. It was a pre-ordained loss. But still... what about that league-leading SO game record? Tough turnips. Only Nucking record we want to hit are the so many men infractioncidal honours. Ok, maybe we don’t want to, but gotta keep the brand in mind.
“Canucks are known for bad changes....”
Well, that’s a somewhat alarming corporate brand. — raddy
Besides, you can’t fight the Laws of Symmetry in (road) hockey. The Nucks have now achieved first level balance in the hockeyverse with the 1-1-1 record.
I’m not one to hand out garlands frivolously, but Garland is fast becoming a fan fav. They even said so in the GT.
Garland may be my new fave — Chicky
Yep, I has a new crush. Garland — Chicky
After watching for a period, knew it would take a Greessy goal to get us on the board. Garland is the one and only neck Greess specialist on the
PINPOINT ACCURACY pic.twitter.com/CNOsDyTxS2— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) October 17, 2021
Garland is a buzzsaw on the forecheck, a sparkplug on the ice with pretty good hands.
And thus ends the good highlight reel section of the recap.
Still... Rathbone has some moves. This young D is trending to become a 1D. What a great trend. Unlike the rest of this game.
Special Teams. Our special teams didn’t do that special thing. The winning goal (against ffs!) came on a spontaneous 5 on 3 when Highmore’s stick broke. Sure, it might have been fun at camp to find a special trove of sticks with the intriguing S.E. monogram. Matt shoulda given it to the NM Broken Felding Stick Fund.
The Nucking powerplay went 0 for 3. They had some looks, but not saying they need to change up the static setup, but they need more movement. And Brock. That’s it! They should get Brock on PP!
The Nucking PK is still developing a style. Is it box-em-out or aggressive checking? The passive-aggressive PK, while being very Canadian, isn’t 100% effective. I know! They need Motte on the PK. Maybe the Nucks coaching staff have thought that too - but JB is still negotiating a trade with the Faeries.
.182 - That’s the Nucks winning percentage on the 2nd game of a B-2-B from last season. If you recall, it was a shortened season - probably could have made the coveted .100 threshold the Sens claimed. There’s another way this stat could go; 500. Is it asking so much, so soon to just freaking win half of the last games on a B-2-B?
The NHL Code of Shitty Officiating. I understand that the league is desperate for
money parity - because more parity = more fans = more ad money, but the grotesque unequal reffing makes the NHL the World’s Most Expensive Beer League.
Do I need to recap all the bad calls, missed calls and even-ups? No I do not. What would be the point. This was a pre-scheduled Nucking road loss and the Nucking special teams were nothing special on the
night afternoon early evening.
Besides, the gamethread were watching the refs making made-up calls.
Just like Meyer’s hit on Keith, Garland with a clean hit that blows up the opponent and causes a team to freak out.. Should not be a penalty on Garland, let alone a major. — Gwailoh
Greiss was hot. Halak was not. Also bad word mojo to Hirshy for bragging how he taught Halak to handle the puck. Handles it like I handle my 6th Gin & Tonic.
I feel like the defensemen should know what Halak’s going to do now, which is give the puck to the other team. — Chicky
Oh well... better to get the horrible loss while outplaying, outshooting and not-quite outhitting the other team early in the season. Detroit will not be vying for a spot in the real season.
Will the Nucks? Don’t answer that. Wait until next week before jumping to final conclusions.
GAME STATS (So many shots - so few goals - where was Hart when Detroit needed him)
SHOT SPOTTING (So many shots - too many stops)
PLAYER STATS (Garlands. We want more Garlands.)
|#||Forwards||GP||G||A||P||P||+/-||S||PIM||PIM||SOG||HITS||BLKS||GVA||TKA||FO%||TOI||PP TOI||SH TOI||PP||GW|
|#||Defense||GP||G||A||P||P||+/-||S||PIM||PIM||SOG||HITS||BLKS||GVA||TKA||FO%||TOI||PP TOI||SH TOI||PP||GW|
How’d the team feel about finally getting that 1st regulation loss under their pads.
“No matter how many shots you take, you don’t always get the win. It’s about how you bounce back in the next one.”— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) October 17, 2021
Horvat gives his take on the team’s performance#Canucks | @theprovince pic.twitter.com/xIznNQ5SVp
Garland is as crafty in pressers as on the ice.
“I hit the brakes trying to create space.”— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) October 17, 2021
Garland gives his take on the collision and tonight’s battle in Detroit#Canucks | @theprovince pic.twitter.com/ynGNZbOtwQ
Over in the Green Room (or as Westy calls it, the Excuse Desk), Green wasn’t phased by tilting icespiracies.
Coach Green discusses the Garland and Zadina collision and speaks on his team’s showing in tonight’s tilt against the Red Wings.#Canucks | @theprovince pic.twitter.com/JfbREXDOqB— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) October 17, 2021
Finally we get a few days rest. Sure, so do the Nucks players, but they’re professional athletes who have been training for months to get jobbed on the road.
We’re couch coaches and assistant armchair GMs without the unlimited beverage budget required for keen spleen analysis and unsober second thoughts.
Next stop it’s the cute little hamlet of Boofoolow. Again, Kent has marked this game as a Nucking win. Except the Sabres haven’t lost a game all season - some or Kent, say the Team of Neck Repair Specialists is due for a good old spanking at home.
The Law of Hockey Symmetry is calling for a regulation win. Let’s make it so, New Look Nucks.