RECAP #3: NUCKS Get Marky the SO! For the Red FlaNucks - Lose Game 3-0

First, the good news. The Nucks are not as bad as they look.

The bad news is the the good news isn’t that good.

If you recall the Nucks playoff style, it was intense, fast and hard hitting.

The new Nucks appears to be going for the nearly-no-contact, not-too-fast and low intensity style. It’s not a great road hockey style.

And terrible to watch. And yet many some two did watch it. We didn’t like what we saw.

Coach Green said: “It was one of those games.”

It certainly was.

Not one of those games anyone wants to read about. Stop now.

Thanks for not reading.

Fine. Keep reading.

To say the Nucks seemed flat makes many flatjacks seem tall. Yes, they were skating and stuff, but if these mini-series are mini-playoffs... Our Nucks are not near mini-playoff ready.

1st PERIOD

After getting McD’d last game, you’d think the Nucks would come out and take over the game, rough it up and spit out a win.

Thinking is overrated.

Appeared it was going to be a tight checking even strength game. No worries. Nucks have learned their special lessons about special teams.

No. No, they have not. Not only is the Nucks PP extending it’s pointless streak into double digits, the Nucks PK is running at 50% effective.

That’s 100% unacceptable this deep into the season.

Game thread is fine with the PK effectiveness.

Meh

Remember the days when the canucks could kill a penalty? — Twitchy

Those days are stuck in the summer bubble.

Shytefartcrapballs

And more — Chicky

It’s 1 nothing for the Cowtown CanFlamucks.

But no worries. Nucks get their own PP. Including a minute plus of 5 on 3. That’s good, right?

Well we can’t kill a powerplay

but at least we can’t score on one either. Canuck life. — Twitchy

Vancouver Canucks outshot the Calgary Canucks 11-7 and the Canucks lead the game. The Red Nucks, dammit.

2nd PERIOD

If you had the misfortune of watching the first 20, you know the 2nd 20 is not any better for the Nucks highlight reel goal front.

The good news and probably a big confidence builder, is the Nucks proved they can kill a Motte penalty.

But only one a period as it turns out.

On Motte’s 2nd trip to the box, the Red Nucks score on the Blue Nucks.

The game thread is feeling a little blue too.

noooo not another

Motte penalty …. jeez — jimmi

There have been a Motte of them tonight — Canta

The blue Nucks got outshoot too, 15-10.

It’s 2-0 for that former Nucks team. No big deal. Except that it’s a huge deal.

Intermission with Marky

Marky is still doing Capilano audi commercials. That’s double dipping. And feels doubly weird.

3rd PERIOD

Take a wild guess on how this period goes...

Do special teams continue their specialness?

Press Y for Yes and FFS! for FFS!

The observant statmasters stated the 5-on-5 chances were 6 for each team of current and former Nucks. For the entire game. Not this period.

So... Eddie takes a penalty on Upchuck. Even tho it was Upchuck’s skate that cut Eddie and Eddie’s blood on the ice. Eddie had to server the penalty in stitches. In the dressing room. Jake was in the box because Greener felt Motte was better playing on the PK than watching it.

Good feeling.

As the game was winding down into the hopeless no-contact no energy area of the rink, Brock had to take a penalty to stop a certain goal.

And the Red Special team scored when Holtby made a save, then fumbled the save.

The best news is that the game ends where it started. Nothing-burgers all around.

For the Nucks. It’s 3-0 for the Red Nucks. Congrats (begrudgingly) to Marky.

Almost no hits from the 3rd and 4th line. Little energy, but the off target passing trend was extended from the Nucks last game.

Since it’s a Saturday, it’s HNIC with the highlight reel. That only highlights how bad the new bad look Nucks PK is.

GAME STATS (Ugly Style)

	SOG	FO%	PP	PIM	HITS	BLKS	GVA
Canucks VAN	32	60%	0/4	12	11	11	9
Flames CGY	35	40%	3/6	8	16	14	7

PLAYER STATS (Nothing to See Here - no really - thanks nhl statsmaticians)

No hitting from Zack or Gaud. Or Myers. Or Hamonic. Or Rous FFS!

Maybe Marky offered a free Audi to all the Nucks top/bottom 6. They didn’t make Marky work much for his SO.

Would it be any consolation to make presser contact with the team?

Let’s find out.

Was revealing was that Greener still has a crush on Marky and Tanev. Maybe because Tanev had a career high 8 shot blocks. Great.

Bo knows. At least now he does.

Since we have to play the Red FlaNucks 9 more times, it might be worth the Nucks coaches on both sides of the Special divide to re-evaluate strategies. Please. By Monday, k?

Nucks need to get their intensity, chemistry and hitistry amp’d up. Way up. Or get JT on phone for the pre-game pep talk or something.

Because game #2 of the weirdness continues on Monday. In the ratty saddley dome. Enjoy your disappointing Sunday and gird your griddle for more than flatjack hockey.