We all miss hockey at the moment. We’re all anxious not knowing when this will all be ending.
That’s where I come in. I’m going to be taking you through an alternate reality, a simpler timeline where our biggest concern was whether Brock Boeser was going to play in the top six.
We here at the Nucks Misconduct network have recently been flying the flag of the Vancouver Canucks winning the Fugazi/COVID Cup. We embrace the fake. And best believe, we’re talking that shit online right now getting ready for the virtual parade — because of course the first time the Canucks win the cup is during a time where we can’t get all together and party.
So while you enjoy this historic victory in your drunken stupor, please read all the wonderful tidbits we’ve assembled of the Canucks run to the Cup.
Canucks Twitter unites and makes up
The Benning Bro vs Bitter Bro beef is officially done and dusted. Everyone was able to unite in peace and harmony over the most unlikely run in Canucks history. We at Nucks Misconduct are hearing whispers that former Canucks Army editor Jackson McDonald has agreed to babysit Larschcast founder, Tej Dhaliwal’s kid in the near future, signifying that the beef is well and truly squashed.
Jacob Markstrom’s 169-minute shutout streak
Remarkably, Jacob Markstrom’s historic shutout streak ended at exactly the 169-minute mark in the conference finals against St Louis. Pietrangelo scored in game 2 at the 4:20 mark of the 3rd period, and Marky shut the door until early in Game Four. The streak included a monster 3OT shutout.
Vancouver still finds a way to riot… virtually
We couldn’t let a good riot opportunity pass us by. Thankfully longtimer writer Wyatt Arndt created a virtual version of Vancouver on Sims 4, so you can take out your pent up joyous energy on Blenz Coffee and Canada Post.
Jordie Benn, overtime hero
Jordie was jerked around a lot during the shortened regular season, only playing 44 games and getting just a single goal. However, his goal in double overtime against the Minnesota Wild gave the Canucks a crucial 2-1 series lead in the best of 5 play in.
The disallowed goal that could have changed everything
A break that finally went the Canucks way.
In-game 4 against the Oilers, Leon Draisaitl scored a backhand goal just at the side of the net late in the 2nd. It was one of those back-breaking goals that kills the spirit of a team. Or so we thought. It was deemed later through a video review that in fact, Darnell Nurse was just a shade offside. That kept the score at 2-1 and allowed the Canucks to come back in the third period to tie the series.