An English Premier League footballer may have broken his league’s Covid-19 lockdown in order to get a haircut.
Tottenham are investigating after defender Serge Aurier appeared to break lockdown rules to get a haircut https://t.co/YN55ZKLFWR— Indy Football (@IndyFootball) May 20, 2020
Which got me thinking about which Vancouver Canucks’ player might be the most likely to slip out a side door for a clandestine meeting with his hairstylist?
There is already ample evidence that a quarantine can quickly lead to a follicle disaster for NHL players.
This 2018 Calder Trophy finalist is known for his deadly accurate wrist shot.
Carey Price came out of his crease to challenge rookie Brock Boeser, but still got absolutely sniped pic.twitter.com/fAfBMowShh— Gino Hard (@Ginohard_) December 21, 2017
But he is almost equally reknowned for his spectular coiffed head of hair.
Would the wholesome, genuine, family-first shooting star jeopardize a Canucks’ Cup run to try and get his out of control curls under control? Would he succumb to the relief of the tonsorial artist’s clippers?
This much-maligned 2016 free agent signing is no longer capable of putting up much offence on the scoreboard unless the opposition goaltender is pulled by his coach.
However, he does manage to show up to every training camp with a healthy, robust mop on his crown.
If the NHL season resumes, he is likely to be the club’s 16th forward on Travis Green’s call list. Locked in his hotel room with little hope of playing, it would be hard to fault him for rappelling down the side of his secured hotel building to avoid his locks from returning to their NHL Entry Draft Day status.
This solid sophomore has established himself this season as the Vancouver Canucks’ third line center. His goal scoring and playmaking have both improved game to game.
He likes to wear his hair long in the back.
But will lockdown-long be too long even for him? Will the red, white and blue American bolt his sequester in search of a red, white and blue barber pole? Will he and his long mane fight their way out of containment?
This defensive rock is in his 10th season of helping to keep the puck out of the Vancouver Canucks’ net. But has he had a haircut since he scored his first NHL goal over seven years ago?
I took this pic Feb.4/13 after he scored his 1st #NHL goal (OT in EDM).— Joey Kenward (@kenwardskorner) February 6, 2020
Nearly 7 years to the day, Chris Tanev is set to play his 500th reg. season #Canucks game.
Ask any of his current/former teammates who’s the toughest @Canucks they ever played with.
They’ll say it’s Tanev. pic.twitter.com/E7ArZj1FiW
The available evidence suggests he has not seen the cutter’s shears in years. He says he is fine with that and he has no plans to get a haircut anytime soon. So he is probably a low flight risk to evade his hockey captors should his Canucks go on a long summer playoff run.
The salad stays. #Canucks defenceman Chris Tanev gave several updates during an Instagram Live Q&A today, including the fact that he has no plans for a quarantine haircut. ♂️✂️ pic.twitter.com/XYGWZ13B0V— Vancouver #Canucks (@Canucks) April 22, 2020
So which of these four especially hairy Canucks is most likely to go AWOL during an NHL Covid-19 lockdown? What do you think?
My Twitter poll is still open and it is currently a tight three-way race. Go ahead. Vote for your choice.