How you doing Vancouver?
Let’s start by inventing a mistake we all make. Let’s do the assume thing shall we?
Why don’t we make the assumption and say by now that you, yes you, have already moved on from yet another third period meltdown and are now focused for the Friday match up against a powerhouse in the Colorado Avalanche.
Or I can once again do the unfathomable and assume you called in sick today cause your feeling a little “Canucky”.
Either way, you are here with me as a fellow Bhawan ready to absorb the following presentation fueled by a honey cruller, a bag of hope, and black coffee.
You heard that right ladies, no cream or sugar in my cup.
By far the most British Columbia dad tweet of all time.
It's starting to feel very Canucky.— Iain MacIntyre (@imacSportsnet) March 5, 2020
In Other Words
The most Vancouver Canucks tweet of all time.
Look, right now the panic button is nowhere close to being pushed by the fingers on my body. Simply because of the book that’s been mentioned in the posts prior.
Yes that one. The one that Thatcher may have. His quotes always has me connecting the dots.
Anyways, the same can’t be said about some in the city and rightfully so. It is really feeling Canucky out on our roads. 50 years of tradition can take you there.
It can take you there real quick.
Heavy lifting over Canucky?— Uncle Laleet (@UncleLaleet) March 5, 2020
Well Andrew, They Didn’t
Your city’s organization failed to get the job done last night and lost to the Arizona Coyotes AKA the lone rival to the Canucks.
Yes, you heard that right, their lone rival.
Both organizations have been so horrid over the past five years that previous versions of hate for other teams have been completely watered down. Only those who have problems with resiliency and getting over the past fail to recognize this fact.
With that being said, we must be aware of the present. It is the only way one can touch life for what it is. Both the Yotes and Nucks are very much in the same bubble and are going after the exact same thing. A ticket out of insanity. On top of this, the two teams play each other another two times in Arizona.
It’ll all make sense soon.
Anyways, Vancouver couldn’t find the dub and now holds a cushion weaker than a twig a Pomeranian could snap up on a bad day.
Where’d You Go?
And to think you were envisioning an April full of deep fried cauliflower, beer and more beer.
Greatest Disappearing Acts of All Time:— Chris Conte (@ChrisConte79) March 5, 2020
1. 2020 #Canucks
2. Amelia Earhart
3. Glenn Miller
4. Steve Fossett
5. Jimmy Hoffa
Life Hits You Quick
In this version of reality called life, you must cherish every moment for what it truly is. When I told the people to celebrate that win a couple Saturdays ago against the Bruins, I meant it.
I really meant it.
What did that dude in Colombia tell me again? Oh, “the moment is the moment”.
y’all got anymore of them 9-3 canucks wins? pic.twitter.com/tU34dMigvI— kiran (@xkirann) March 5, 2020
I’d Rather Not Look
Yes, the beginning of this tale has been quite pessimistic. Some may say, quite depressing. You may question the ethics behind the one and only @kylebhawan.
It is what it is.
All we can do regarding the future is recycle, walk our dogs, be warm to our parents and do whatever else that may sway karma to start rooting for the good guys.
In my opinion, glancing at the standings on off-days causes an imbalance in my delicate brain. This leads me to ignore the following instructions.
Let’s Change The Pace
Everyone needs a little Beggsy in their life.
Listen to the latest episode of Sippin’ on a 40 and receive that boost of happiness from the nicest man in the city.
Nice Try Nice Guy
Trevor, when the tables have turned and the bottles are poppin’ off at the BBQ. Don’t be surprised when I begin to roast you in front of our loved ones.
Trev’s a sweet kid— Patrick Johnston (@risingaction) March 5, 2020
I Wrote This 2 Days Ago
You’re 12 with a Playstation 4, not a sliver of homework due tomorrow and romance is as real as the fromage in your cheese string.
You’re also quite wealthy with curiosity.
So you invite the homies over, dial up the DHUT Pizza off of King George, fire up Chel20 and start a damn dynasty.
Oh, you know what’s coming next.
For the first time in the crews life, every member has a job. You are NHL executives entering a fucking fantasy draft.
The organization is granted the 22nd overall pick in once again, the fucking fantasy draft. 75 percent of the room exchanges mental banks of scouting reports while one member formats the simulation. The same one dude is the most dangerous member of the board. He knows what he’s doing.
87 seconds pass and it’s Vancouver’s turn to select the face of the franchise.
Who will get the final call? Who is low-key going to cry about the selection before the night is over? Who will lead the franchise and the straight-up-train-of-fun during the first & only season which will conclude in no later than 12 minutes.
Player 1 clicks X to accept access to what is available and sees 2 players above the rest by at least 178 KM’s.
Elias Pettersson and Quinn Hughes.
Back To Last Night
Are the Canucks going to be using it’s players dogs in the same way the organization chose to use College draft picks joining the team late in the season?
Ahh, they always do find a way to dip trouble in some fondue.
Eh Donny! Eh Jake! What did y’all eat before the game last night?
That in all honesty was the most dominant game Virtanen has played in his NHL career. When he had the puck, he was a man against boys while weaving through Chayka’s data.
Straight up, this dude was the best player on the ice.
Jake continues to prove everyone but his own parents and Tanbir wrong. In September I mentioned he was waiver eligible and would never-ever-ever-ever have success in our home Province.
For the 8920th time, I was so wrong.
It’s a damn shame that more won’t be mentioned about the message J.T. Miller had for Big Tuna after the not-to-be game winner #18 was instrumental on.
This could of been a moment.
Is there a man with a more pristine facial hair get up than the 20 goal scorer Tanner P?
Wait, fuck this man is a 20 goal scorer for your Vancouver Canucks? The same man who was traded for Erik Gudbranson?
Damn, I’ve been so wrong 8921 times.
Jim Benning turned diminutive 14 goal scorer Jared McCann into Physical specimen and 20 goal scorer Tanner Pearson. I forget what happened in the middle. #Canucks— Disco Stu (@TheDiscoStu) March 5, 2020
Oh what Sat?
The Vancouver Canucks are going to make the Stanley Cup Playoffs because of their top end skill on offence. You best believe that statement because it’s really all this team has.
I got hope baby.
Put your name on it, do you think the Canucks make or miss the playoffs?— Satiar Shah (@SatiarShah) March 5, 2020
I still think they get in, @ me homies
Don’t Say It...
And nothing was done about it.
Hughes says never any doubt he’d play tonight, but admitted he was sore from Wennberg hit in 3rd in Columbus— Jeff Paterson (@patersonjeff) March 5, 2020
Why Are You Still Reading This?
It is truly amazing how much faith one can have in anything such as a blog post from a frequently-incorrect Findian or that Hockey team from Vancouver.
Once again, it is what it is.