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I planned the Canucks Parade!

Jokes aside, I really planned a parade for the Canucks Stanley Cup Victory. See you there!

2019 Tim Hortons NHL Heritage Classic - Calgary Flames v Winnipeg Jets Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/NHLI via Getty Images

How many of you, when the Canucks are winning, have jumped on social media and made a snarky joke about “planning a parade route”.

**My hand is up.

Unlike the rest of you lazy bastards and bastardesses..?, I have planned out the route that the city of Vancouver should use, so that the loyal followers of the Canucks can bask in the glow of Lord Stanley and our glorious team.

Some of the considerations when planning a parade are the following:

1.) Is there a reason for the parade? —-> Hell yes!

2.) Will the route have enough space for the masses to congregate to bask in the glory?

3.) Are there places to drink along the way?

4.) Can people easily get down to the parade and then back out again?

I’m sure there are more questions to consider, like bathrooms availability and police presence, but those questions can be left to the city.

Google Earth

I had the parade start at Rogers Arena for the ease of the players. They could get down there early and leave any vehicles there. I’m nice like.

The caravan of buses would then head west down Georgia and its wider roadway. A left turn at Hotel Vancouver would lead them down Burrard St. By the time the caravan gets to Pacific Street, everyone should be drunk. The team will work its way back on Pacific Street to Expo Blvd and into B.C. Place. The masses that can fit will be able to hear the speeches and a big screen can be set up in the Plaza of Nations.

I did have another route that went outside of downtown, but the route would have been twice as long and logistics would have been tough.

Here are some issues for the route:

1. ) The three bridges across false creek will be closed to all vehicles, even buses. Buses can drop people off at the south end and people can walk across.

2.) No traffic will be allowed west of Main St. after Science World. Again, buses can drop people off.

3.) I would even close Lion’s Gate and just let buses and taxis use it. (No Uber/Lyft) Too many cars.

4.) Translink would have to have all hands on deck for buses, North Shore ferry, West Coast Express and Skytrains. I would flat rate everyone that day to $5 to get in and then $5 to get out. And that would be for anyone anywhere trying to get downtown.

5.) The parade should be on a weekend day.

6.) Vancouver Aquarium should be free that day. Why not?

7.) You must have a jersey/shirt to be allowed at the parade.

8.) Any person with a Messier jersey/shirt will be thrown into False Creek

If anyone knows the mayor, please have him read this and get it approved. Go scout out your spot right now to get the best view of Jake and Troy shotgunning.

I am open to suggestions when it comes to planning.

Remember: If you’re going to dream, dream big.

Go Canucks Go!