This is probably not worth a full recap, because all of NM would have watched this glorious tribute to Gary B’s massive ego-massage.
Despite the All-Star Game being a shameless self-promotion gimmick for the NHL, we haven’t been as vested in the results in quite some time. And hey... a win is a win.
The Pacific Division defeated the Eastern All-Stars. And you know which team is #1 in the Pacific, even after a long layoff?
Your Vancouver Canucks!
What is wonderful about the All-Star game is they can compress what takes weeks in the playoffs into a single game. So, bravo to you, NHL schedulers, you can save us time and annoyance if you really want to.
Since we don’t care who we beat from the east, let’s move on to the Western Final. Pacific vs Central. Will it be a cakewalk? Hell, yeah. The
Nucks Pacific came to win.
Let’s start with Marky who was stellar against the Centrists... Stones MacKinnon.
Marky needs to remember that save in the coming
months weeks minutes.
Huggy Bear gets his 1st All-Star point! (On a pass to UpChuck. Ugh)
But Quinn isn’t just helping others to goals. He’s quite capable of helping himself.
Even the Great One was impressed with our Quinn.
Quinn Hughes became the second rookie defenseman to score a goal in an #NHLAllStar Game. Denis Potvin tallied once for Team All-Stars East in the 27th All-Star Game in 1974. #NHLStats pic.twitter.com/PR1IBfme7y— NHL Public Relations (@PR_NHL) January 26, 2020
Anyhow, time to move on to the next round.
What a huuuuge timesaver. League could give us the Cup in March if they weren’t driven by monitized drama and fake rules.
Speaking of money... winners of the All-Star final share $1,000,000 as a bonus. Probably barely covers their meals and clothes for the weekend, but sure would improve the look, feel and smell of our NM Game Thread clubhouse.
Turns out the Atlantic Division will represent the East in their loss. How fitting.
Sure, the eastern showboaters took unfair advantage of Marky, including a goal that would have been disallowed in the regular season because of goaltender interference. No matter. It’s the ACF rules. All-Star Cup Finals for those of you who have an allergy to abbrv.
The 1st period ends with the Atlantic leading 3-1. It’s a 2 goal lead that is the most unsafe lead in hockey. Next to the 3 and 1 goal leads.
Now it’s Pete’s turn to turn the tides of scoring towards the proper shores of the continent. Not sure who the voice talent is for the ‘Murican networks, but if someone said it was Gary’s brother-in-law, wouldn’t doubt it.
Unfortunate that the 2 Johns couldn’t be voted to cover the All-Star Game.
Maybe it’s best just to watch sneaky Pete without the yapping.
It’s 3-2 and a one goal game. Which is soon a 3-3 tie from a non-pacific team Pacific division player.
And, as if orchestrated by the league, the Atlanticites get a mercy goal from a Detroit player. 4-3 for the eastern beasties. So intense.
Looks like the East could eat our $1,000 a plate dinner. Or not.
Definitely not. Pete is feasting on fresh Vasilevskiy delicacies. 2nd goal of the game! MVP! MVP! Apple for Quinn too!
(Again... Gary’s brother-in-law has a special knack for not enhancing the hockey game)
4-4 tie and the real drama begins as time winds down on the 2nd and last period of the game. I know - another big timesaver. NHL could charge the same nosebleed prices for less ice time.
Since it would be a little shoebooty to expect Pete to go for the hattie, he let’s his other ‘teammates’ score the winning goal.
The Pacific WINS! Because... Canucks!
Was that a million dollar win? We have to ask Loui’s agent.
You’ll want to relive each hard hitting moment with the HNIC crew. And then consult your digestive therapist.
GAME STATS (What? No powerplays?!)
All the drama of a SCF series in just 2 periods of hockey!
With that glorious, amazing game now turning to mushy meh memories, we refocus on the forced march down the stretch.
The ROG is rocking a full 60 minutes of hockey - with penalties, missed calls and bad reffing - on Monday night. Are you ready for more regular season wins? Yes, yes you are.
Let’s go get a a couple dozen more while the other teams are hungover from the All-Star party-break.