Trevor Linden Traded Again. And Fired! Er.. Retired. But didn’t quit!

Just when the heat of summer and cool hockey trivia chatter was feeling normal - this happens. Trev traded away. Again. At least this time, Trev can stay in Vancouver and watch Francesco micromanage JB into an early retirement plan.

The PR spin from both owners and ex-President says the parting was amicable. Sure. Does it matter that the wrong President resigned? Probably. Do we know why? No. But that’s no reason to not speculate about the reasons why.

But first, let’s hear from the Firer-In-Chief himself for why Trev was fired has retired.

Other opportunities? Summer mini-golf tour? Spending time with his family is corp-speek for ‘You’re grounded, young man! Do not leave the house - and do NOT speak to the press!’

Deeply value blah blah...but not deeply enough to keep him guiding the process that got us to this point. The point of...uh...no return. But that’s not the point. The point is that Francesco is the boss and you don’t argue with the boss about how to rebuild retool a hockey team. And FA wishes nothing but the best in Trev’s future endeavours...which are mini-golf, NM Fantasy League and NOT talking to the media.

So...if ex-President Linden is no longer guiding our Nucks submarine ship on/around/through the rocky shoals in the shallows of the standings, who will take over the Presidential palace in the glare of media torpedoes and broadsides scrutiny?

We’re doomed!

Less doomed than ever before.

Maybe.

Reporting directly to the ‘ownership group’ - oh boy, doesn’t that sound like fun?

At least JB thrives under media/owner pressure - in his own eloquent way.

So...what you’re saying Mr. A is that Trev is getting replaced by....you. That could work. Worked for the Laffs during the Ballard era, right?

Hmmm...that’s interesting. The plan hasn’t changed, just the top guy in charge of the unchanged plan has been changed out... because?

Aha! We get it now. Trev didn’t want to bring the Cup to Vancouver. Only you and some weirdos at NM wanted that. Makes sense now. Thanks for clearing it up.

I know our NM investigative deep dives can be exhausting. Why not take a break and fluff it up for a bit.

And what if I told you Hank gave me a hickey stick too. That solidifies my fan status in ways that you don’t want to know.

Can we veer off the fluff and get right to the dagger through the heart of NucksNation?

It’s not just us then. Thanks for clearing that up too.

Now about the current state of the persecuted owner-fans. What’s going on with you?

So...if we read between the obfuscations, we know that Trev wasn’t pulling in the same direction - your direction. Congrats on using the word ‘rebuild’ on your public megaphone of choice.

Which side of long, slow and gradual was Trev? The 8-10 year really stupid slow side? What’s your version of long, slow and gradual?

Ah...shucks, you flatter us. We’re mainly a bunch of immature, impatient miscreants using your team once every 17 years to vicariously lift our spirits out of the cheap seats at the ROG. Hypothetically. If you ever decide to grant us plebs cheap seats in the current century.

Again with the Cup business. You’ve mentioned it twice in your Tweet-The-Fans letter. A letter about firing retiring Trev. Conclusion: Trev was keeping the Nucks from winning the Cup! Thanks again for clearing that up. Again.

So let’s move past the sorted business of the hockey business and look to the future of your sorted hockey business.

Sure, drag the Sedins into it. They probably didn’t want a Cup in Vancouver either.

Elite? That sounds like an expensive restaurant in NY. Uh...in D.C.

Whatever it takes? Not saying that micro-managing would fall under that unlimited options gambit. No, wait. I am.

So...to be clear. Trev has retired. Not fired. He quit, right?

Thanks again for clearing up the misspeaking. Maybe I’m stupid, but if Trev’s not a quitter and wouldn’t want to quit at this critical juncture in the Nucks rebuild (sorry for using the R-word), why the hell did Trev quit?!!

Ok, fine. You and Trev have parted ways. Amicable divorce. Not like your last one. So that’s good.

But still... we’re not getting the reason for Trev not quiting, but parting ways with his job (which you asked him to do) as President of Hockey Ops.

Look, Mr. A., we’re hockey fans here - our farting ways aren’t amicable - so please excuse our lack of grace and frequent beer burps. We may be loyal Nucks fans. And we may be stupid, naive Nucks fans that can’t read the unspoken whispers of corporate power politics, but why the hell did you fire Trevor?!

I have some ideas why Trev was fired retired. None of them good.

Only way to find out the truth of never-quit Trev who has only parted ways with the club is with the NM Standard of Real Truthiness. A poll.

The pool poll isn’t comprehensively large enough? Fine. Write the real reason below - using amicably ambiguous, innocuously obtuse words that even Mr. A. can’t comprehend.

Oh... and so long Trev. We missed you the first time - it wasn’t fair. Neither was this time. But at least it’s amicable and that’s the important thing to understand. We here at NM (probably) wish you all the best in your future ‘endeavours’, even if they take you to Long Island to open a vintage jersey fashion store and hockey management consultancy.