TAMPA BAY 4 BAHSTON 3 (Tampa leads series 3-1)
Just when you thought that the Ratchand couldn’t get more disgusting, he opens his big mouth and runs his big slimy tongue up your face. It’s true! Boston is a team of lizard people!
We wouldn’t know for sure, but expect there’s no better feeling than beating the Boo-urns in the playoffs in their own building. Lick it up - one more Lightening win and our tongues will be wagging good goals, not gross-chands.
VEGAS 5 SAN JOSE 3 (Vegas leads series 3-2)
The Strip was lit with 4 Stolen Knight goals by the end of the second - Jones was chased into another casino. But, in the 3rd, the chippiness was turned up - the Sharks chipped in with a few scrambly goals to make it look like a game. But in Vegas, the house money always wins. Pretty much.
Today’s Fake Cup Run Games (We know it’s a fake Cup run because Westy hasn’t denied it. Or because he has.)
PITTSBURGH @ WASHINGTON - 4 p.m. PDT; CBC, SN series tied 2-2
I want to say how important this game must be to east coast hockey mavens. I won’t. This fake Pens/Caps rivalry has had over a decade of hype. Enough already. Both teams could be eliminated tonight and the league would be the better for it. Sadly, the power brokers at NHL HQ will probably allow the series to run the full ad-filled 7 games and then let one of these teams lose in the next round. Futility. That’s what these two teams are playing for.
WINNIPEG @ NASHVILLE - 6:30 p.m. PDT; CBC, SN series tied 2-2
As Canada’s team (which according to unbiased SN reporting is actually the BlueJays) goes to Smashville again, this new best of 3 series appears to be headed to a best of 1. Jets and Preds have alternated wins so far. It’s the Jets turn tonight.
Best of one. Imagine how much more we could enjoy our yard work if the playoffs were just one winner-take-all game. Sure, it might be a logistic nightmare setting up 16 nets on one sheet of ice, yet the spectacle of 16 teams playing each other all at once would make the Superbowl seem a tame media hypefest.
And think of the time-savings. Entertainment efficiency. It’s the future.
Until then enjoy the slow burn until we can focus our heat on JB in June.