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NUCKS WIN!(5 Sedin Goals! Each!) Win Game 10-9 or lose 5-4 in O/T to Vegas

Two Twin Brothers Enter the ROG - Two Stories Leave

NHL: Vegas Golden Knights at Vancouver Canucks
Hank is nonchalant about scoring the GWG in the O/T section of the alternate reality
Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Sports

How can a recap capture a game like this? Don’t know. There’s the dull, boring, seemingly accurate version. Or...there’s the actual, fan-driven truthiness.

Which version would you prefer?

Wait. Don’t answer for yourself. Westy already answered for you in the gamethread.

This was the 3rd most emotional game of this final Sedin season. We didn’t know for sure it would be until after the 4th to last game on this season of conflicted emotions.

But since Monday, the Twins April Fools retirement prank turns out to have been less prank and more frank. And Hank and Dank are taking the summer off and beyond.

They look all business. Different coloured suits. Hmmm...

The fans were all business too. The hand-crafted sign business.

The opponent that was selected by the cruel NHL scheduling department was Gary’s pet vanity team, the Vegas Spoiled Nights. A team that stole players from every team and then stole every game from us in the season series so far. Thanks to the Westy Doctrine, that pattern is over.

Might as well get this farewell party started. The swelling ranks in the gamethread, filled with many old rank posters were keen to toss the recent gamethread decorum in the NM compost bin.

1st Period

It wasn’t the best way to start a party. Sure, the Nucks were playing the real good host thing real good. But, that’s not how you win the 1st.

A mere 4 mins in and the Nucks let Vegas get the first goal. This was not in the fairy tale farewell game story. Maybe they got the faeries mixed up with the fairies.

No matter. With his agent, Larionov, in town, Goldy had predicted at dinner the night before, he’d score two goals in the game. Weird how he missed the Sedins scoring 5 each tho.

Goldy has been getting his game together during the stretch. But, this move and goal were something special. Let’s watch.

Let’s watch it again.

Tied 1-1 and the Nucks being far more economical with their shots, 6 versus the glitzy Vegas 11 shots.

And that’s how the period ended.

2nd Period

Ah...the second period. This is where our stories diverge. One is claims that Vegas scored 2 more goals and were leading 3-1 at the end. They peppered, or was it salted? Anyhow they put 16 shots on Marky. The Nucks stuck to the 6 shot limit as they were told to by the [redacted]. As expected, with Gary’s pet team on the ice, the refs were looking to take goals away from the Nucks and missing egregious calls with startling precision.

Sounds like a plausible story, but is it really an appealing one for the 3rd most emotional game of the season?

No it’s not. So, let’s move over to the Westy side of the game.

Westyside Story

Of course, since Hank retired first, he gets the first Sedinery goal. Dank sets up Hank and the purty passing party gets started.

Now down 3-2, it’s up to Danny to make the game more interesting. And he does. In an eerily familiar way.

Just like that, the game is tied. Didn’t matter that Vegas was using the old jersey switch up trick. A Sedinery goal is a goal. No matter when it’s scored.

So the 2nd ends with the refs up 3-1 on the Nucks. Some say that Vegas was too. Others, like Westy, said it’s a 3-3 tie.

Who’s to say what the right story is? Not me. I’m only here to be fair and balanced. Ok, not so much balanced, but that’s fair enough.

3rd Period

Down 3-1 to start the third is not a good feeling for NucksNation. Having felt that shitty feeling too often, they wanted it to be a different feeling.

So...Vegas and the refs obliged. By giving us a worse feeling.

The refs call Eddie for holding. It was a hug! He’s feeling emotional too in the 3rd most emotional game of the year. Refs put Eddie in the box to feel even more emotionally isolated from his team. But, the greedy Zebes aren’t done. They send Stech to the box - he’s just a kid! Claimed Stetch was delaying the game - which is a penalty, unless you’re the Toronto NHL Game Command, then you can delay the game for several minutes and still get a poor call wrong.

Anyhow, Stech wasn’t delaying the game - he was savouring it. Carpe conludium. Stech was just trying to stretch out the experience of playing in (soon to be) bountiful Sedinery.

Instead he’s exiled to the claustrophobic bin already being claustrophobed by Eddie. So...the Nucks are down 2 D on a 5-on-3. Can’t end well as the gamethread shouted into their keyboards, touchscreens and beers. They were right. When have gamethread posters ever been wrong? Other than that one time, when they called me names. Bad names with bad verbs and adjectives and stuff that I’m not physically equipped to perform as specified.

No matter. Mr. 43 goals, Karlsson scores on the 5-on-3. Have to credit the Stolen Knights - when the refs give them favours, they take ‘em to the net.

It’s 4-1 Vegas, according to some flashy TV graphics that anyone with an old Commodore computer can make for themselves.

But, even NHL refs have to appear semi-unbiased and after two periods of the Vegas creasecutters running over Marky like he was a derelict banjo outside a rapper bar, the Zebies finally called a goalie interference penalty.

And yes, it was a successful Nucks top 10 powerplay goal. Danny sends a backhand pass up the boards to Eddie who launches a shot on goal that Subban (the goalie, not our former Subban or his other brother who plays for country music fans) can’t handle. Rebound comes out to Bo, who knows where rebounds go.

It’s the comeback kids night in Canada - or at least that weird wet coast part of it.

Down 4-2. For now.

Next, back on the team, Gaunce takes a pass from Jokinen, and puts a pass on Sutter’s stick and he puts a backhand past Subban.

Down just a goal. What could possibly happen next? Oh...I know. Goldy needs to make his pre-game pre-cog experience a ROG reality. And does.

Virt makes a good play to steal the puck from a Stolen Knight and sends it out to the point. Where a keen to get his first damn NHL point, Sautner, (who earlier had his own Sedierny setup goal stolen by the NHL Board of Delay of Gamers) sends a pass to Bulldog. And Bulldog puts a low wrister on net and Goldy tips it in. And Subban’s skate makes sure it goes and stays in.

It’s a TIE GAME! 4-4. The ROG is really rocking.

The Nucks are rocking. Marky is using his freshly found stopping powers. We can so win this. But, will have to wait for O/T despite outshooting Vegas 10-6 in the period.

In a strange twist of staged stats, the 3rd ended with the shots 33-22 for Vegas. A coincidence? Is Hank signing in Vegas next season? Numbers solve some mysteries and start others.

So... let’s move over to the Wild Westy side of the game board.

Westyside Story Part 2

In this Westy-authorised version, pretty sure he authorised it - he signs so many things in a day - can’t read everything all the time. Anyways, in this fully vetted version of mythical events, the period does end in a tie.

How it got there was a little different. Because the Sedinery was growing faster than a Slocan grow-op in June. While the Lost Wagers scored or 8 or 9 times, the Twin towers unleashed a barrage of goals from everywhere, possibly even everywhen.

Since it was dense foliage in the Sedinery, have to zip through forest, can’t stop to see the trees. And no smelling them either. Here Hank pots his second.

And then Dank does two too. Snap pass, snap goal.

Those Vegas showteams need to pick a uni and stick with it. Whatever. Haven’t got time for fabric designer debates, we’re getting our gifs on.

Hank is going to tie his season goal output in a single game. Or exceed it, if I’m holding the Westified scorecard in the correct orientation.

Now Dank goes to feed on the juicy leaves of cross ice feed Sedinery.

And Hank wants to leaf out and get more ruffage too. ROG is going nutz! Can’t believe they just watched 7 Sedin goals in a single period. Who can?

Westy can.

And so does Danny. He’s knocking players, fans, scoring records down with his wild winning wizardry.

Can you believe it? He’s not done!

Danny’ 5th goal of the game! The ROG is going berzerk! The gamethread is off the chart. The rails. The train of thought. And someone out there just became a mooolionaire.

Game is tied 9-9. It’s the bottom of the 3rd. Or at least the end. And the Westy tale is really just getting started. On working up the ending.


The two game story lines diverged and yet they bring us to the same place. And time. Weird. Must be that 6 degrees of butterfly effect or something.

In the formally covered version, the 3 on 3 O/T was pretty exciting. Especially, to make it more interesting, Jake took a hook. Or made a hook out of a simple hockey stick. Either way, the Zebes put him in the isolation chamber and let Vegas add another player to the 3 on 3. So, it’s a 4 on 3. No matter. The crack 66.66%, so far, effective Nucks PK does it’s crack job. No goals were scored by Vegas. Or Vancouver.


So, they have to go to the shootout in the ROG corral section of the program. Where despite both Twins getting the nod, neither got a goal. But some castoff player from the strip does. The NHL states that Vegas wins the game 5-4. Still it was an awesome comebak in the 3rd.

But, it’s way a better ending over on the Westy side of the much over time.

Westyside Story Part 3

Since he started it, Hank, finishes it. Wins the game 10-9 for the Nucks.

And everyone in the ROG lived happily. Especially the latest moolionaire Score and Win winner.

Savouring the moment. The last few moments of Sedinery, before the great tree of Twin power seeks its shade on the less icy sections of Vancouver.

The Knights were so appreciative of the prolific hockey genius of the Sedins, they wanted to congratulate them on a career well-played.

One more home game for the Twins to score a dozen more. If I’m reading the Westy scrawl on the NM drinking bunker napkin correctly.

Before we ponder that, let’s hear one more Sedin post-game presser.

Ignore that part about blowing the shot in the SO - he was just being classy. Didn’t want to boast about that 5 goal outburst. The way me and Westy would. And will. And have. And will again.

Danny was congratulating the fans...and the fans wanted to congratulate him.

Over in the Green room, he was savouring the energy - at least in the 3rd. more home game for the Twins. That’s going to make this game seem like the 3rd most emotional game of the year.

Have a wild Wednesday and thoroughly stupendously tremendous Thursday.