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NUCKS WIN!!! (WHOLE GAME!) Down the Hawks 5-2

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Thank you gravy town Chicago...we were really, really hungry

NHL: Vancouver Canucks at Chicago Blackhawks
2 Goals and 2 Hits - a special night for Eddie
Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports

What a difference a couple days can make. What a difference playing against a team on its painful descent to the bottom. Ha-ha!

If there any Nucks fans with sympathy for the Hawks...they have left the recap already, so we can just chuckle amongst ourselves in our well-earned schadenfreude. The Hawks had a good run, got some Rings and now are struggling to pay the supa-stars. Boohoo. We don’t care. When we have 5+ Cups in our tea-time closet, we’ll give them a little more.... razzing.

This game was billed as being a battle of former division rivals - not that the Nucks or Hawks have left the division...it’s just that...never mind...the Hawks are missing the playoffs this season for the first time in...never mind.

Instead of stalling and playing sunken tanks in the aquarium water feature art, we can just get right into the groovy goals section of the recap.

Wait! Goals? The Nucks scored more than one? Yes, yes they did.

1st Period

If you had Edler scoring the opening goal of the period off a rush launched by a Hank pass to Leipsic, then you have won the internet. For about 15 minutes. Then Westy will expect you to return it in the excellent crappy shape you stole it in.

Joining the rush at just the right time. One of the rare times. Nucks are still bottom of the league D-barrel for goals from the defence. Who cares? We have the lead in Chicago!

1-0 Nucks. We’re so winning.

But...because...it’s a Nucks game, the win lasted about a minute. A Seabrook slapper was deflected off Schmaltz and past Marky. He wasn’t deflated by it though.

1-1 Tie. We can so totally win this...

Because we’re breaking droughts and scoring goals. A 56 game goal drought. That’s the arid span of time since Hank scored.

Hank wins the face off. And a set play gets setup for another 5-on-5 Nucks goal. Gags passes to Dank and his low shot hits the Berubean pads and lands on Hank’s stick and in the net. Hank looked really happy after the goal. Drink it up, NM.

Nucks are leading 2-1 at the end of the first. From TWO even strength goals. Even I don’t have the kumquats to make that up.

Vancouver beat the Fawks on the shot clock too. Almost. Within 2. Or 3. Nucks 10 shots to 13 from the Chicago Missing Playoffs.

With the lead going into the 2nd it means the Nucks have already won the game through simple statistical extrapolation. When leading after one, the Nucks have been nearly invisible invincible this season. When playing Chicago.

2nd Period

If this game of former Titans of Hockey needed something, the something arrived early in the period. Something that must be punished.

First with confusion and then more penalties. The gamethread was, fortunately, only punished with confusion.

We can figure this out later.

As near as we can tell from the official records, Pouliot went after Martinsen for his cheap hit on Leipsic...and first Leipsic was punished for instigating something and then was in the box to serve Pouliot’s Nucks Misconduct! (Hi Z!) But then Pouliot’s Instigator against Martinsen was served by Brendan. Or something. Moving on.

Let’s get back to the.... GOAL SCORING! From the NUCKS!!!

On a sweet spin-to-rama pass from Goldy, Bo blows into the windy city’s zone and Bolls around the windy defender and makes a deposit between the Berubean pads.

That’s 20 for Bo, in case you can’t read the blocky twitter text. And even better, it’s the 3rd even strength goal of the game. THREE! Do you remember when we were waiting and waiting to see just one through 3 to possibly 100 games?

Nucks are in the hawk hen house now - leading 3-1. That’s all they need.

But, Eddie wanted more. What? True story. Last time Eddie had 2 goals in one game was...2011. Really? Really.

Eddie fires a shot from the blueline that deflects off a Hawk and ruffles the Berubean feathers for the worst. Maybe even plucked a couple as Berube was plucked and pulled.

2 goals, 2 hits, 1 game. This is the Eddie we signed up to watch. A long time ago.

The Nucks are leading last season’s division champs 4-1 at the end of the 2nd. And still beating them on the shot count with the 12-12 tie. We always win shot count ties. It’s a rule. Might be a drinking game rule, but still, a rule is a rule.

3rd Period

If you believed the Nucks would go on to score another goal on another goalie, in the same game, then believe me, I don’t believe you.

And yet, that’s exactly what they did. A point shot from MDZ deflected, very painfully, off Sutter’s ankle and past the suddenly stunned Forsberg.

5-1 Nucks! That’s FIVE even-strength goals in one game. From a team that couldn’t get a single goal on a certain 3 game road trip through the American Southwest of Hockey Disappointment.

And that’s the way the game would end.

Pretty much. Until Saad sends a creasey pass across the crease that was deflected by Maritime hockey sensation, Syd Matthew Highmore, for his 2nd of the year. A year. Pffft. We have a d-man that can score 2 goals in a single game! Every 7 years. It’s a Vulcan/Swedish hybrid thing. I would explain it now, but that’s a pun too farr.

More importantly, the Nucks WIN! The entire game! 5-2 is the final.

Dodged the 8-ball. Stopped the skid at seven. Sure, it may have pushed us up the bottom step of the tank ladder, but no worries, can’t lose them all.

Not only did the Nucks beat the Hawks 5-2, but won the hit count too, 23-19. Just a little over half the hits Vancouver had in Vegas. A game where the hit count was our only leading stat. The Nucks sealed this sick streak-busting victory with an economy of shots, 27 versus 41 from the windy feathered.

Marky didn’t mind all those fake Fawk shots tho - padded his stats real good - with a gaudy .951 SV% to redeem himself from his bad luck at the Vegas shot gallery.

The Nucks PK was 100% against the Fawlty Hawks 4 PP chances. The token Nucks power play was thwarted as well - stuck at 0/1 and 0%. That is just fine. In this game.

Here’s a highlight reel. No, really. All the Goals! (Pardon the lame windy whiners from the opposing broadcaster - yeah, the nhl)

How did new tough guy, Mr. Nucks Misconduct winner feel about his thuggery.

So how did our 2 and 2 guy feel about it?

Our Boriffic 20 goal scorer sends a message.

Since this is the 1st of a B-2-B, the Green room was never set up...but we managed to scrounge up a quote from Mr. T...

“You need offence from your back end, Nice to see Eddie get a couple goals tonight.”

And with those few words, we’re back on the road again. Get your blue suede shoes shined up and ready for the 2nd game of this road BnB game. If you find your suede shine is a little dull...keep polishing. We might need it. St Louis is still chasing a Wild Duck card into the other season of different rules hockey.

Have a Fantastic Friday!