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NUCKS WIN!!! (A REG GOAL!) - Lose to House Money Puck 4-1

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NHL: Vancouver Canucks at Vegas Golden Knights
Glitz Theater on Ice - probably the best part of the game
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

The streak is sitting at lucky 7. In Vegas. That’s pretty lucky, right?

So lucky that the Nucks have claimed the sole remaining spot in the Western Conference. The spot at the bottom of the tank. Which all season has been the sole food of last-placed locked Arizona. Not anymore.

Spent over an hour in the photoshop tank creating this testament to creative avoidance. Really. To avoid writing this recap. Isn’t much good to say about the game which was fully over barely after it begun.

Vegas has won more games at home than we’ve won all season. 26 to 25. So...you might say we’re overmatched. Under-scored too.

Here’s a startling fact I fished out of the polluted internet waters - the Nucks have won just 11 games since Bo went on that ‘cast’ fishing expedition with the Faeries. Eleven games won since last year - at the beginning of December.

How many goals have the Nucks scored since losing their best sniper? 16? 12? 10?

Keep going. The Nucks scored 7 goals ever since Brock went down 7 losing games ago.

The good news is the painful 320 minutes and 36 seconds drought of even-strength goals is over.

That’s the end of the good news. Thanks for reading. Stop now.

Here’s the start of the bad...

Vegas came out fast and hard and scored 2 goals in the first 5 minutes. The rest of the game for them was 55 minutes of maintaining the win without getting any injuries to key players.

When Vegas scored their 3rd goal of the period...all the comeback Nuck luck was cashed out at local casinos. About a buck forty-two in total.

At least the coach has some good video clips of how a group of ragtag, non-superstars can grab a game by the icicles and lead 3-zip going into the 2nd.

Vegas outshot Van 15-7, which is only a 2 to 1 margin. Felt like more.

Bad news this period wasn’t for the Nucks. It was for Vegas - Fleury was out with a mystery injury and Subban was in to start the period. So much for key player injury management. While we have seen the Injury Faeries devour our season 7 or 8 guys at a time, Vegas have probably beaten us this season for a Faerie fractured roster. Rumour is they’ve played 5 different goalies. Probably all the same time, which is part of their secret success formula.

Nothing else happened in the period. You may hear reports that Vegas scored another goal. Whatever. We all hear all kinds of things, especially in garbage time.

The Nucks outshot the Stolen Nights, 11-7 which makes you wonder how real those claims of a gratuitous Vegas goal might be.

No matter. There’s only one more period to go until the inevitable outcome is broadcast across our disappointed faces.

Not going to make stuff up about how the Canucks came out like a local desert gambling town NHL team and tied the game in the first 5 minutes. I want to. Really. One token win before we line up at the lotto atm with our lousy debit card would be a nice boost before the lotto draw of disappointment.

Still...the period did feature one glittering ray of fake hope shining off the stick of Sutter.

An EVEN STRENGTH GOAL! FOR THE CANUCKS!

It’s what they play for and what we watch 60 minutes for - a single Nucks goal.

A bad angle shot on Subban and he loses the shutout - better still, we avoided another road shout-out-freaking-loud ourselves.

And that little bit of funky puckery brings to a close the fun part of the game. Nucks outshoot Vegas 12-6 in the period. Had some pushback, but not a golden strip of 5 lucky pucks.

The Nucks outhit Vegas 43-27. Big margin - still not big enough to pull a mauled-over moral victory from. When your opponent has the puck more than you...well...hitting is the next best thing to being on the scoreboard.

Was Marky terrible? Were there Softies®? He wasn’t terrible. Maybe one or two goals could have been denied with better luck and skill. Maybe. The Nucks team that started the first were just not very good defensively. Remember that team ambition to be ‘Hard To Play Against’? I don’t either. And neither did the Nucks.

The Nucks outshot the Kruisin’ Knights 30-28 on their way to winning the game by a negative margin. It’s ok. For almost a full minute, the rookie scorekeepers in the arena almost believed it was possible. Negative equity is a thing in the financial market. It’s about time the league made some consideration for the lower bowels of the standings.

Here’s a video recap, from the two Johns - familiar voices, in sadly familiar times, helps reduce the familiar feelings.

Virt had a good game - Goldy, not so much. But, I’m not going to single out players - would just be some sort of unneeded Pouliotic exercise.

Because it’s a road loss, a Sedin must atone to the press. It’s a team rule.

And lucky us, if a Nucks goal is scored, we get to hear from the lucky guy.

Coach Green didn’t want to talk about it either. But, did state on the limited presser record:

“Their team came ready to play tonight, and it’s a good hockey team, When you get down 2-0 early and 3-0 after one (period), you’re not going to come back against a team like that. We’re not.”

“Obviously it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating to lose. The players are frustrated. I don’t blame them. It’s a combination of not scoring – 30 shots, one goal – and losing. That will frustrate a group. But you’ve got to get ready to play.”

“Guys have a lot to play for. Guys are getting ample opportunity to play in the NHL. That’s what a lot of these guys have been waiting for. It shouldn’t be hard for them to get ready to play.”

Heard a bit of his abrupt radio presser where he was getting pressured to name names - old Swedish names in particular as well as pointing the long leg of skate-bagging at rookies. Didn’t bite, but he seemed to have some trouble chewing his words carefully. Travis can’t be feeling too good about watching his rookie season behind the bench becoming the worst Nucks season of the 21st century.

I’m not feeling so good about it myself. Sure...it has given me great oppourtunities in the NM Recap Bunker to mangle Faerie metaphors with punctuated impunity. And launder the CSC [redacted] theories that have sparked international hockey investigations across the league. Just the NM Fantasy league, and just my team... but still...

The end is near. Maybe not near enough with 9 more long games of garbage gulping to endure. At least the next one will have the ancient sheen of former warriors of glory casting a long shadow on a meaningless late afternoon game in Chicago on Thursday. Game is at 5:30 PDT, so remember to eat early and drink often.

Have a Wiffereeny Wednesday and a tumultuously thoroughgoing Thursday.