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NUCKS Extend Streak To 3! Lose 3-0 to Ducks

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212 Minutes Without A Goal. And Counting.

NHL: Vancouver Canucks at Anaheim Ducks
Even The Long Arm Can’t Save Them All
Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

And....that’s all folks. The 3 game fruitless road trip ends as it began - without a win. And just for the fun in the sun of it, this season’s depleted roster have set a new club record. Yay! No...it’s not that kind of record.

It’s the other, more sad type. The first time in team history that the Canucks play through 3 games on a road trip without scoring a single goal!

A new record! It’s not like they were trying to set this record. In fact it could be argued, not strongly, but within +/- 10% of semi-realism that they played pretty good. With the caveats that this roster is as depleted and tired as any we have seen in recent seasons. And that the Nucks were playing teams on the cusp of making the something something.

Something that an exclusive group of teams are vying to a part of. Off and Play or something. Whatever. The Yotes don’t count as a vying team, just one that’s peaking a tad late. Whatever.

At this point I want to mention a personal connection to this game and NM. The Canucks played the Fowl on my birthday. So thanks to all the Nucks for making my special day so special. And of course, all of NM for making me feel even more special.

And so on. I’m touched. By your outpouring of heart-felt something [redacted] something.

Anyhow, enough about me and my fragile male ego, let’s discuss how I felt about the game.

I felt great about it. Went out to dinner - celebrating - wining and dining, followed by more wine. Then the game started. Then the whining and moaning started.

Let’s get going...party’s on!

Happy Birthday Jimmi Ducks score

by westy99 on Mar 14, 2018 | 7:14 PM

Thanks to Westy, I noticed that it’s 2:26 in and the Water Fowl have scored. Do you care who scored? Me neither. Usually sometimes we’re here to celebrate Nucks goals and the skilled guys who score them. Pretty sure that’s what we used to do. It’s been awhile.

What’s more than a little disturbing is the goal was the 7th in the season for this anonymous Ducks forward. We have lots some a couple guys who have scored way more goals than that this season. Just not in this recent road trip part of the season. Whatever.

Who are those guys, jimmi? Don’t make me name names. You already know who they are. And their double digit goal scoring prowess needs no special mention. Besides...talking about fresh pools of points when you’re trudging across the searing desert of goal droughts does not build team or fan morale.

And here at NM, we’re all about morale. Or morals. Nah...pretty sure it’s the first one.

Let’s just move on and save the morale-boosting portion of the recap until we find some booster rockets and matches.

So...the first period ends in a scoreless tie. Except the Ducks are credited with a goal. So...almost tied.

Nucks undershot the Ducks 9-12. The Nucks had 5 shots in the first 13 minutes - was some complaining about that slow start in the gamethread. But, we’ll ignore those whiners. We all know good wine takes time - there’s 2 more periods to go.

Moving on. It’s the second period and the almost-tie game is about to get blown wide open - in the very closed, one-sided view of wide and open.

36 seconds in and Gags goes full thug - takes a penalty. No biggie. The Nucks killed off a full 4 minute one in the 1st. A 2 minute one is twice as easy. And it was. Nucks PK is 100%. The Nucks PP is, however, still at 0%.

Late in the period the scoreless+1 tie is broken by another low scoring web-skated wonder - his 3rd goal of the season. We know how that feels.

You might be wondering if this was a Softie®. Or you might not. Or you couldn’t care less. Or all of the above. Who am I to say what it was or wasn’t. Except to say, it wasn’t the GWG.

Fine. Let’s check the freeze puck frame.

You decide.

The period ends in same way as the first. Nucks undershooting the Ducks 12-14. That’s not so bad. Double digits on the shot count. That must count for something. But...it doesn’t.

The DisneyBirds are leading the tie by a larger margin.

Get your comeback party hat on, get ready to rock. On another planet.

On this NHL-verified orb, the outcome was decided 2 periods ago. In a hockey rink far away. Thankfully.

No matter. The Canucks push up against the mocking puck faeries, the Ducks and the refs.

Nucks outshoot the Fowl 11-11. No matter.

What does matter is the Nucks run afoul of the refs. A weak, pathetic interference call for Eddie on Perry for doing what is never ever a penalty this time of year. Or any other time. Bad call at a bad time during a bad stretch during a bad season.

Because the refs are always receptive to being informed on ice of their stupidity and bias, Danny, talks to the ref about the stoopid call. And talks. Vigorously. With some pungent punctuation and Norse Gawd Words.

The refs reward Danny for sharing his expert veteran assessment about their zebra-stripped incompetency with a game misconduct. His 2nd game misconduct in his 17 year NHL career. So you know he was pissed about it. And maybe just a little frustrated with the fucking goal faeries. Also shoutout to Z - It’s a NUCKS MISCONDUCT.

Guess what happens next. No, don’t. 43 seconds before this game could be completed amid a defeat-with-dignity tie+2, the wound met salt with a no-chance shot for Marky.

What’s more disturbing is the goal was the 7th 8th in the season for the same anonymous Ducks forward. We have lots some a couple guys who have scored way more goals than that this season. Just not in this recent road trip part of the season. Whatever. So what.

The shame was that the Nucks PK percentage was no longer 100%. That’s not fair since the Nucks PP percentage was still at nada - 0% - zippty-nogoals.

Another highlightless highlight reel.

That’s it. Not with a bang-bang scoring play to open the gates of goal flooding. Just another whimper on the dusty trail of another birthday lost in another year of the Nucks lost years.

Speaking about droughts in dry sporting language, here’s our own cowpoker on swimming with the fowl.

Anyhow...here’s what Danny had to say about the play. Of the refs.

The Green room was removed before the paint was even applied.

And we can leave now and spend a day in numb silence while the hangover headache plays bongos and tympani's in the living room of our mind’s broken dreams. Or at least my mind.

On Saturday...well...it’s HNIC time. Either the Nucks goal-drought record of 2015 will be broken or just mutilated a little. The Sharks are in the ROG, playing to win because they want to be off to the something and off thing the league, allegedly, stages every season.

Have a furious Friday and surreptitious day after.