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NUCKS WIN!!! Extinguish the Stars 6-0!!! (Really!) Universe Rejoices (Pretty Much)

I’m not making this up! The Biggest Bounce Back Yet is Beautifully Big & Goalicious!

NHL: Vancouver Canucks at Dallas Stars
Lots of Ice Gazing by the Stars tonight. Good.
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Redemption. It’s a big word. Filled with the sort of tasteful grace, simple happiness and rich satisfaction beer commercials could never dream to express. No, to be fully redeemed you have to play four of your worst road games, then finish the trip with one of your best, most dominant performances of the season.

It helps too, if a young Virtuous power forward who had struggled this season, has the game we all knew he could play. And not just Virt, nearly everyone had a bounce back jump that had me still bouncing off the walls on the 3rd replay on the PVR - oh... that sick between the legs drop pass from Brock (He’s back. Yay!) to Bo had me bouncing into the lighting fixtures, causing a temporary blackout in the NM Recap Bunker Cellar.

When I came to, we were still winning! What a dream! What a game!

Let’s play it all again. Over and over. Marky would be ok with it. He redeemed himself - took his responsibility reins by the horn and honked his way to the sweetest doughnut of his season career. His first one was overdue. This one was an act of will. His will and the willingness of 18 other guys. Guys who picked up Marky’s mic drop in Carolina and tossed it at the Bishop of goalie stick snapping.

1st Period

If you recall the last game, it pretty much set a record for the quickest goal. Against. It’s ok if you don’t remember it, I’ve forgotten it too.

Apparently, it is possible even for our consistently slack starters to jump on the early jumping jack-it-up to 11 intensity train. Sure, jimmi, you’ve made sense-defying scalp-crawling declarations before - are you declare-making again?

Possibly. But, I’m lazy and don’t need to. The new youth-infused roster made the definitive declaration with a quick goal 2 minutes in.

So sneaky quick was the sneaky shot from Boucher that Bishop pretended it didn’t happen while casually fishing it out of the net. The 2-Johns on-air missed it. The Dallas fans didn’t see it either. But...Boucher pointing in the net finally drew the wrath attention of the refs and the review from the CoTU Mission Control Station ensued.

Good Goal! Good Call! Nucks up 1-0. First goal in the first for the first time in such a long time that it doesn’t need to be stated publicly. (A big shout out to Hammer for remembering his real team loyalties momentarily - was not a senior moment!)

And then a scant 7 minutes later, Virt cleared the puck out of the Nucks zone to send himself on a breakaway. And give the Bishop of 2nd guesses a 2nd fit of gapiness. Virt scores on the backhand between the gaping wickets.

2-0 for Nucks half way through the 1st. Who are these guys?

In the gamethread, everyone was checking the player names, while familiar, wanted photo ID to be sure.

To be more sure of more delight in the gamethread and pretty much everywhere in NucksNation, Hank lofted a pass into the sky. Like a twin that knew when and where it would drop, Dank deftly deflects the puck to Vank who blasts it from his fav puck blasting place past the shot-shocked Bishop.

(Note: this is from vid recap - it’s all cued up to start at the 3rd goal - no sneaking ahead to the other 3, k?)

It’s 3 Nothing Canucks! Rink is going crazy! With disbelief. As is the gamethread. Who are these guys and can we get them to play for the Nucks more often?

Not just dominating on the goal padding, the Nucks are playing hard, pushing the game, like it was already going downhill for the soon-to-be going nova Stars. Outshooting them 16-6. Sixteen Canucks shots in less than 20 minutes. Another 6 would match the count for one of the entire road games in the hockey swamps of Florida.

I’m making it up. Not. The score fest of the road game winning arts is just getting good. Real good.

2nd Period

If you had noted the final score, the Nucks PK was perfect. Also note - you cheated. Ok, happy endings are happier when you really know it will be happy.

The Canucks powerplay, which is a stupid hot league top-5 on the road, went 1 for 6 on the PP. Dallas were frustrated. Poor Stars - so many talented players, so frustrated. Ha-Ha!

On a seeming special Ed moment on a drop pass in the neutral zone, tonight’s special puck hunting Eddie regained control of the puck and gained the zone, throws it into the middle where Brock Boest Hockey Sense slides a no-looking between the legs pass for Dank. No, that’s what 3rd-guessing Bishop thought. Dank leaves it. Bo doesn’t. And shoots it past the Bishop of WTF??!

Again...this is from the vid recap - all cued up and no cheating to the next ones. Or cheat and watch them again. Again. I did. And will for days. But, I’ve got a replay sickness. A replay sickness. A replay...

PP Goal! 4 FREAKING Nothing! This is the sort of blowout we can only dream of once a season against say... old and slow LA. On the road? At the end of a sad trip through the [redacted] big poopy picture strategic nether regions? You decide. The Vancouver Can-Blow-You-Out-Nucks haven’t.

What about you, Dallas, had enough yet? Your fans have. Your goalie has. Your coach is getting pulse rate warnings on his bench-them-all Hitch Tracey smartwatch.

What about the Nucks? Is 4-0 how you spell blowout? No, no it’s not.

Virt is having probably his best game of the season. He’s using his speed for tactical advantage again, not just to get somewhere faster than someone else. Virt carries into the zone, zooms around defenders, around the net, sends a pass to the point. DMZ fires a shot and Boucher, gets his 2nd, tips it past the 2nd Dallas goalie of the night, Karri LetThemIn.

You know the drill - you only get to see this one goal all cued up. But, if you went back and watched the previous 4, that’s very cool too.

5-0 Canucks. That’s not quite expressing the sheer madness in the gamethread.


A little bit better. But, in case you didn’t see this amazing game played by guys wearing Canucks road jerseys, who ever they are, here’s the definitive, no second-guessing stick work by Bishop.

Boucher has 2 goals in the game. Virt has two points - tieing his best this season. And no one is on the negative side of the obsolete plus/minus sheet.

Even Westy was complimenting the performance of our D. Sure, he’d been drinking, but still...he usually gets meaner with his defensive play comments in the gamethread.

At this point, video evidence not standing outside with me - you might say the Nucks were just lucky. And the Stars were just sucky. Maybe. It seemed that almost every Dallas pass in the O-zone was getting clipped by a Nucks stick. That somehow, Green had weaselled last change and was getting the perfect matchups he wanted - all game long. That Green had stealthily deployed a special secret group of hard-to-play against players in violation of the basement-dweller hockey rules. Whatever.

When even Loui is engaged in the game, you know something something pretty exciting is happening. Even though the Stars twinkled a little pushback, again it was the Canucks who carried the play, outshooting Dallas 17-11. 33 Canucks shots through two. 33! It’s a sign! They’re coming back! For another period.

3rd Period

While the miserable, de-twinkled Stars are now playing grumpy man with a stick hockey, they did push (and shove) back some. They’re a big, fast talented team that didn’t get to the wildcard draw of chance by not scoring any goals (+24 goal diff). And yet... they’re staring at a -5 diff in the game. Or are they?

At 7:48, one of the more improbable things in the universe happened. Not quite as improbable as the Big Bang, but extremely rare as hockey events go.

Guds gets a goal!!!


NM doesn’t make letters or words big enough to portray the sheer amazing scorifically astounding total.

The Dallas Gas Giants can’t get a goal on Marky. Can only get cheapshots and penalties. Nucks got an extended power play, but seemed they didn’t want to embarrass the locals anymore. Than they already had. Going for 7-0 or 8-0 is just a little too gauche for a respectable Canadian hockey team. I know, it’s the first time in ages I used the term respectable and Canucks in a constructive sense.

This was a game of... really fun-to-watch, well played Canucks hockey. Like we vaguely remember a few times from October. Every player was engaged. Archie was awesome - making smart plays and throwing 4 big hits. Dowd was shot-blocking like a Tanevean native. 3 of the D combined for 3 points.

Full vid recap - Feel free to watch it beginning to end - over and over again.

Marky earns a shutout - with great support from the back and front and middle end. The Nucks out shoot Dallas 41-30. Forty-one Canucks shots! In one game!

Let’s look at a few extra wintoids.


And...The Nucks haven’t won in Dallas since the lockout limited season of Tortsure.

I could go on and on, but NM’s strictly loose publishing deadlines require this is posted within the same calendar month.

This is a game to savour over and over again until the end of the PVR era. You didn’t record it?! Ask a friend to watch it on theirs. If you have no friends, ask PVR-wielding Nucks-game-recording strangers. Or download it from the internet and watch it in your underwear while tattooing yourself six times with sacred puck symbols.

Let’s hear from some of these heroic millionaires who really earned the big money in this game.

The longest breakaway artist on the team makes a short statement on the play.

Won’t go unnoticed anymore, Boucher talks about getting big goals in the big league.

Over in the Green room...there was so much dancing and high-fiving and stuff that the press forgot to press Travis for a presser. He did say this between air-punches tho:

Great Response Makes The Game Great Again. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

We can be giddy for a few more days too. Our unbroken huge one game winning streak will last at least until Wednesday when the Swamp Cats and our former goalie poet arrive at the ROG to meet our team. But, which of our teams will play? Really hope it’s most of this team that ripped the Stars out of the Texas sky and made designer doughnuts from them.

Have a magnificent Monday, a PVR Tuesday and a tremendous Wednesday.