Recap: Nucks Get Tanked 4-0 by Sharks

The last time the Nucks went straight 8 in the loss column, actions were taken. Jobs were lost. Coaches were fired. Fans were fired. Up. Or down.

This time, only whimpers were fired out of the gamethread with some wry sarcasm. And some heavy drinking. More than usual.

Finally, we can say with certainty and authority, that this was the worst game the Nucks have played this season. Since the last one.

Definitely feels like Black Friday in NucksNation. It’s just another loss, but darker and more lossy when the kids aren’t scoring.

Despite this 8th straight loss the Canucks still lead the league in a key stat:

Nucks have taken more penalties than any other team in the league. Ok, that’s more of a ‘because of’ than a ‘despite’. But whatever.

The thing is that when your team (yes, it’s yours, own it), is consistently chasing the game from behind, well... your team takes more penalties. Sometimes more than any other team in the league.

The team we saw lose consistently in the pre-season has got their groove back. And more. They’ve gouged a deep trough of loss through the month of Lovember.

While Green has stated on the record that the Injurious Faeries of Puckery can’t be an excuse, it’s clear that missing Sutter and Beagle is hurting the Nucks PK. A lot. And we’re missing Brock and Sven up front. And most won’t admit it Pouliotlly, we miss Eddie too!

Normally I would perform a brief recap of every period with highlight reels goals from our young guns. Except tonight, the young guns were firing blanks. If they fired at all.

The game was lost in the 1st period. Because of taking that #1 Penalty Taking stat to the tank. Pouliot’s 4 minutes for high sticking was a high point...er a sharp point on the PK collapse in the first.

Five-on-five play, the Nucks only gave up one goal. Yay! It’s those other 3 in the special place that sucked the spring out of their skates.

The team was flat. When Leipsic is our best player on the night and doesn’t score, it’s not going to get better for the other players who didn’t score. The Canucks have endured a shitty schedule - played 17 road games out of 25. Thanks, NHL schedulers, we appreciate you rigging the Hughesing season. We do. Just not yet.

The team was flat. Wait... you said that already! Sure, but the team was so flat and getting flatter. In the 3rd they only managed 3 shots! In 20 minutes! The Sharks were cruising round the tank waiting for a game to swim past.

The Sharks are a pretty darn good win-now team. And the Nucks are a pretty terrible good lose now team. Great match up.

Tanked in the tank. There was little left in the Nucky tank when they returned from the eastern block. There’s barely fumes left for the Cali junket. Bo has been over-played by Green. And it showed in the dot - won only 37%. Nucks only won 33% and the Sharks scored off the draw almost at will.

With that happy go lucky miserable luck running over the boards, the ice, the dressing room and into the gamethread, the best thing we can hope for is a blizzard in LA tomorrow and the game is called.

Instead of the period by period dismal re-telling of a game we all must erase from our fragile fan memories, let’s just watch this video recap - just once, before Westy has it removed from the internet.

When Pete has zero shots in a game, it’s not a fun game to watch. When Pete has no shots and no one else has any goals, it’s even less fun.

Because I’m too bummed to type long stats of flatness, just view this statshot. Then purge it from your statsmind.

Welcome to the tank, Nillie. Helping Marky keep the streak alive.

jimmi cynic

The Straight 8 engine was used briefly early in the 20th century. However, it had issues:

a phenomenon referred to as “crankshaft whip,” can cause physical contact between the connecting rods and crankcase walls, leading to the engine’s destruction.

When November started, the Nucks were top of the topsy-turvy Pacific. Today they sit below... even... Edmonton. Ouch!

We can’t lose another game in a row! I can’t find any Straight 9 engine metaphors. Don’t make me photoshop a fake 8 + 1 motor on a Saturday night.

But before we get to tomorrow night’s predicted loss, let’s honour one of our own from the game thread.

Vanmacqld was stoically chained to his headphones to the entire no-goals-4-us game, listening over the internet. Because of his willingness, some say borderline masochism, to endure Sports650 commentary and commercials, he has earned himself the prestigious Most Aggravated Listener Award.

While the Nucks are losing every freakin’ game in the past two weeks, at least we can take solace that one amongst us is winning a special teams participation award.

There’s no easy way to sugar-coat this loss in this latest loss streak of Straight 8 deflating losses. Sure, there were a couple that the Nucks could have won. Yet, we know that when the Nucks go streaking, they won’t settle until the naked pain of losing is too much even for the AHLers accustomed to average losses.

Tomorrow the Nucks must turn exhaustion and low self-confidence into winning a one game winning streak. Against the Kings, who had the night off. They sit around in the dungeon of the pathetic Pacific basement, probably getting mean and cranky.

Let’s help the Nucks help the Kings keep those ugly feeling bottled up and directed inward. How? That’s a question for the NM Strategy And Winning Excuses Department to ponder overnight.

All we can do is watch the end of the SoCal vacay stint not ending quite soon enough. Enjoy whatever is possible to enjoy while not thinking about how unenjoyable a 9 game loss streak would be. Have a sassy sarcasm Saturday and don’t forget to vote - for your fav Nucks player of the night. If there is one.