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Your Vancouver Canucks Pop the Caps - Pummel WAS 6-2

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We all saw this coming. Double D and Sven were just resting up in Minni

Washington Capitals v Vancouver Canucks
Wrap your head around DD as one of the leading snipers on the Nucks
Photo by Rich Lam/Getty Images

Welcome to Alternate Universe #6...um...#15.. uh... #47. Some say there’s so many alternate universes that it explains why the earth is flat - so very tightly packed. According to the Westy Destiny Playbook, the alternate universes are unfolding as they were destined. For example:

  • In Alt Universe #6, Brock gets 3 Powerplay Assists! In a SINGLE Game! Which means 3 Canucks powerplay goals in a single game! Yeah...that’s why they call it alternate.
  • In Alt Universe #15, Double D has 5 goals in 5 games. The latest goal was a slick wrap around. In the non-alt universe, how many wrap around goals did Dorsett get?
  • In Alt Universe #47, first round Super Sniper, Sven BearCheese has a 2 goal game for the 2nd time in 3 games.

My recap will be brief and unbelievable (as usual). We WIN again! Outplay and outscore the vaunted Washington Capitols. A visiting team that arrived in Vancouver before our new alternate heroes arrived home from the arduous road trip to the eastern provinces.

We never expected a typical Nucks post-road home game. You know...the usual, down a couple goals early in the first, out of gas by the end of 2nd and playing desperate-hopes hockey for the tie in the 3rd.

And that’s exactly what happened. To the Caps.

1st Period

So the game starts...and... Nilsson doesn’t give up 3 goals in 6 minutes...but around 12 minutes in...the Alt Free Agent Squad goes to work.

Vanek (who we all know has great hands in front of the net) takes a rebound in mid-air from Holtby and puts it in the net.

Then the Sedins go to work on the PP with the slick between-the-skates behind-the-back no-look pass out front to Bo. Oh...I wasn’t looking closely...a Nucks goal on the power play can be very distracting...it was Sven doing his sick Hank tribute.

And that’s the way the 1st ended. Nucks up 2-0. Except the neverland express jumped the tracks to ramp up the rails to Granlund station.

Double D gets an assist because that’s just what 1st line players do.

Nucks up on Ovi and the Capguns 3 nothing after 20, outshooting them 15-4. 14 days ago, if I typed that line in a recap, the collective eyeballs of NM would roll so hard they’d pop out and require extreme inertial trauma therapy.

And yet...this result is exactly as seen on page 15 of the Westy Destiny Playbook and Neverland Travel Guide. I’d post a photoshop’d graphic, but in this alternate universe the on-ice action has no need for cheap visual enhancements.

2nd Period

Speaking of visual efx. Is it even possible for the Nucks to be seen scoring more than 3 goals at home? Not since that Fawks blowout in ‘15 at least.

And yet. Yes, and yet. Your new alternate universe Canucks just blow open the game with, I’m not kidding, a 2nd powerplay goal! The first of two for Sven.

In this brave new mind-altering Nucks realm, Sven only has to stand in front of the net and use his Svenetti powers to will the puck to ricochet off his skate and in.

In case you’ve lost track....we’re about mid way in the 2nd pint and the Canucks are up on the Caps 4-0! That’s the Nucks with FOUR goals and the Caps with ZERO goals. The Caps which have one of the best 1st lines in hockey. That line has no goals? Against the Canucks? I can’t answer that question coherently... even without playing chaos math games on a crumpled napkin, the numbers speak for themselves.

Or do they? In alt universe #15, we also have one of the best first lines in hockey. And best grit and grind line. All in one.

The old non-bionic DD would have missed the net while trying not to. The new alt Mr. Universe #15 Double D, deliberately faked out Holtby, got him to commit, flub the clear and swoop to scoop the puck and score the hands-of-gold wrap around. And put a .773 SV%. bow on it by getting Holtby pulled.

So how was Ovi doing? Not too good.

As you know, even this never-say-never neverland express has a soft spot for Ovi. In the spirit of giving crumbs to (former?) scoring legends, the Nucks softened up to allow Ovi a little tinkle of twine. Not directly of course. Just an assist to take the edge off.

So the 2nd ended the way it started. With more goals! More Nucks power plays goals! The Nucks lead 5-1 after 40. Taking a lead into the 3rd wasn’t always the Nucks’ easiest task, but in the alt universe where Brock leads the team in points, just ahead of Double D, it seems simple enough. Just use the...

3rd Period

Power play? What?! Stop saying I’m faking it. I’m not. And neither was Sven. His 2nd powerplay marker in the same game!

And that’s pretty much how the game ended. Other than the traditional get the rookie his first NHL goal against the Canucks. Even in the wonder worlds of alternate realities, some traditions are just too popular.

So the beneficent Nucks gave Chandler Stephenson his 1st NHL goal. And spoiling Nilsson’s shutout all over again - he ended the game with a mere mortal .926 SV% so Marky isn’t worried about competing with a Norse goalie god.

Is this a fun team to watch? A Canucks team pushing with speed and energy. Out working, out scoring opponents. All this and nipping at those Vegas Black Tarts in the charts.

How much greener can these alt universe pastures be? Let’s ask.

To recapture the sheer absurd splendour and incredulity of a 4th straight Nucks win, scan the NM Game Thread for a glimpse of thread realities bending and folding like a hockey tardis on the advanced setting.

Enjoy your weekend and let’s keep the train on the fun fun rails. The Stars are in town on Monday and have lost 2 in a row. Let’s help them keep the streak alive.