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I've Got You In My Sights: Senators @ Canucks

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It’s good to get the reunions out of the way early before the wretched hatred of anyone but us sets in.

NHL: Stanley Cup Playoffs-Ottawa Senators at New York Rangers
Here’s Mr. Everything living the dream: destroying a Ranger while admiring a hot dog. What did you do today?
Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Pithy hot takes for Senators @ Canucks

  1. Total days Vancouver has been undefeated: three. I’ve haven’t been this happy since Ryan Kesler’s hip decided to stop working because it hates him too.
  2. Bo Horvat is on pace for 164 goals. Conner who? Matthews what? These are but the buzzing of flies to the source of hundreds of future male first names in BC.
  3. We won’t see Suplex City Brock tonight which is a shame. Give it time folks, Derek Dorsett is one or two mental mistakes away from getting free popcorn instead of icetime.
  4. No Erik Karlsson tonight either which reminds me I have no good Achilles heel jokes. Please submit them in the comments.
  5. Is there anyone more “Vancouver” than Alex Burrows? I’m not saying he was the most talented or the most valuable. But here’s a guy who’s largely remembered for biting a finger and not the obstacles he conquered to get to the NHL or the clutch player he became or how he could ride shotgun to the Sedins, an act which almost no one else can do successfully. And he’s returning to a city and franchise that’s largely remembered for that one riot and oh yeah that other riot and not every other worthwhile, memorable, jump-out-of-your-seat-and-hug-a-stranger moment this team has gifted us. It’s just a perfect match...it’s just....just...I’VE GOT THIS FEELING THAT WON’T SUBSIDE...

Senseless Predictions Are Senseless

3-2 Vancouver. Burrows weeps. Burrows chirps. We all laugh. And then we pause every so briefly to make Craig Anderson’s life a living hell.

Life Is Futile But The Internet Has Children Faceplanting

It’s a wonder no one has shot me yet.

Coconuts? Go!