If You Ride Like Lightning, You're Gonna Crash Like Thunder: Canucks @ Pens

It's one thing to make the East Coast folks stay up past their bedtimes on a school night, it's a completely separate insult to make West Coasters wake early on a Saturday morning when we're still nursing hangovers.

Unless you're up already to watch the EPL snap your soul like a Saltine in which case your morning was already screwed. Thanks Newcastle.

Sorry hockey, right right. First thing I read this morning - besides the postponed games because no one can drive in snow I guess - is this. We can't let that happen.

It's the Pens, you know the deal: stop All Star Crosby, Malkin, Kessel, Letang (christ there's too many) and the rest all in line. No Bones tonight (kids!) but no Sutter either so the trade debate can linger on to the summer. They get Kunitz back so that's nice for them (*spits*). Emerson-trade partner Hagelin slots in which...bah, I've run out of spit. Probably a safe bet the shots will be off the hook again.

Despite being outplayed for long stretches on this road trip, Vancouver has shown great resiliency and hasn't made it easy for anyone. That second line is popping and if Burrows can toss the monkey off his back, anyone can. If they can get the take the win today, that'll be seven wins in their last ten and an immensely successfully road trip which looked anything but just a week ago.

#TrustTheKids. #TrustTheStache

Human Guniea Pig Formations

Daniel Sedin - Jared McCann - Janik Hansen

Sven Baertschi - Bo Horvat - Radim Vrbata

Alexandre Burrows - Linden Vey - Emerson Etem

Derek Dorsett - Mike Zalewski - Jake Virtanen

Alexander Edler - Chris Tanev

Ben Hutton - Luca Sbisa

Matt Bartkowski - Alex Biega

Ryan Miller

Chris Kunitz - Sidney Crosby - Patric Hornqvist

Carl Hagelin - Evgeni Malkin - Phil Kessel

Tom Kuhnhackl - Eric Fehr - Bryan Rust

Kevin Porter - Matt Cullen - Conor Sheary

Olli Maatta - Kris Letang

Brian Dumoulin - Ben Lovejoy

Ian Cole - Trevor Daley

Marc-Andre Fleury

Two Questions

1. Vancouver has gifted an average of 41 SOG to the first five teams of this road trip. Any chance they can drop that number down to a more respectable, I don't know, 40?

2. YAAAAAAAAAAAAWN. Wait, hockey's on? Are you wearing pants?

Fearless Predictions

The Pens tend to have the Canucks number. But not today. Though they are badly outshot in the first, Vancouver narrows the chances in the second and Horvat sends the good guys home happy in the third. Don't believe me?

Go to hell bird, you're not the boss of me. Orcas, take us home.

GCG.