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We Need To Have A Talk...

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Hi. I know it's been a while. What? Me? Oh, I'm fine thanks, but this isn't about me. This is about you. I've heard some things recently. Disturbing things. And I thought it was time we had a little talk. I'll unlock the doors when I am finished, so sit down and stop yelling...

I'm coming home, to destroy everything you hold dear.
I'm coming home, to destroy everything you hold dear.
Elsa/Getty Images

Hi. How was your summer? Good? Awesome. Listen, we need to talk. It's come to my attention you've been saying some things. Things that make me worry about you. And it's because I care about you, and want you to be happy that I have called you here today. I get you being a little upset about this, I do. No one ever wants to be the one getting the intervention. That's normal. Unfortunately, we have to address this now, before it's too late. You have to stop saying that you want to see Milan Lucic in a Canucks uniform, because nothing good will come of it.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Dear Jim Benning&#10;2016- Lucic &amp; Byfuglien&#10;2017- Hedman &amp; Burns&#10;&#10;<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Canucks?src=hash">#Canucks</a> fans deserve it. Just no Brad Marchand thx <a href="http://t.co/vooilGK64T">pic.twitter.com/vooilGK64T</a></p>&mdash; Rodney Gibson (@DJRodzilla) <a href="https://twitter.com/DJRodzilla/status/640975748480692224">September 7, 2015</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Some Canucks fans make it hard to want to be associated with them . Keep crying about Lucic .. Higgins or Lucic ??? Fck</p>&mdash; B (@blcole84604) <a href="https://twitter.com/blcole84604/status/639830457132056576">September 4, 2015</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/RobTheHockeyGuy">@RobTheHockeyGuy</a> just the pussies who want to see there team bullied every year. I&#39;m all for Lucic - Horvat -Virtanen. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/canucks?src=hash">#canucks</a></p>&mdash; Mac Ball (@PitchforkTorchz) <a href="https://twitter.com/PitchforkTorchz/status/639830119490588672">September 4, 2015</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/RobTheHockeyGuy">@RobTheHockeyGuy</a> completely agree. Would be great to see Lucic with the Canucks at a reasonable price. Brings a bit of everything.</p>&mdash; Steve (@lawnbrawl) <a href="https://twitter.com/lawnbrawl/status/639642014187974656">September 4, 2015</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I&#39;m all in if Lucic wants to play for the hometown team and it would make sense for him to play on the hometown team <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Canucks?src=hash">#Canucks</a></p>&mdash; Jhazzy (@justinhazard) <a href="https://twitter.com/justinhazard/status/638942114391310336">September 2, 2015</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">How would the rest of you VAN fans feel about Lucic becoming a member of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Canucks?src=hash">#Canucks</a>? me, I&#39;m ok with it.</p>&mdash; Mr.Matt (@Mister_Matt_79) <a href="https://twitter.com/Mister_Matt_79/status/638868428799897600">September 2, 2015</a></blockquote>

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There's more, obviously. Lots more. And I get some of the reasoning. His time with the Giants. Hometown boy. Stanley Cup Champion. But if you really give a rat's ass about this team righting the ship, you would be screaming bloody murder at the mere thought of Lucic, for as many reasons as you've been claiming it's a good idea.

First off, he's becoming one of the NHL's most over-rated entities. He's already overpaid at $6.7 Million a season, and even if he were to offer up a hometown discount to the Canucks, it's absolutely inconceivable that it would be deep enough to justify signing a player whose production is nose-diving. His scoring chances are diminishing, despite being given 1st line minutes, and have done so for 3 consecutive seasons. Given his age, this downswing is premature, even by NHL standards. I can't think of anything worse for this team than spending a dumptruck full of money on a player because of their mythology. Again.

Never Again.

And let's talk about the other reasons why Milan Lucic should NEVER, EVER don the blue. green and white. You have to do something first: Take a deep breath and repeat after me: "The Vancouver Canucks did not lose the Stanley Cup in 2011 because they weren't tough enough". Quite frankly, I am disappointed in you all. It's 2015. The fact that we STILL have to tell people this is a sad indictment on the state of this team's fan base. Milan Lucic wasn't the reason the Bruins won. And Milan Lucic in 2016 isn't going to make the Canucks a better hockey team in any way, shape or form.

What he will bring to the table is a variety of activities, behaviours and attitudes that for the most part we've shunned as a fan base. It would be so far beyond hypocritical to hate the way he plays the game and then welcome him with open arms, forgiving all those transgressions. Those are the actions of a selfish player, one with serious issues of anger and respect that transcend the ones you can expect a person to have in a sport like hockey.

This is not something I want to see a Canucks player do. Or this. Nor thisThis. Definitely not this. Seriously, I could do this all day.  If you hate this kind of stuff, you don't look past it to get the player on your team, or you're a hypocrite. You know what a hypocrite is, right?

I understand the whole 'get tougher' thing. I know it's hard to let go of something that had been drilled into your head for so long. Repeat a lie enough times, right? But that's what it is, along with Milan Lucic will make the Canucks better. It's a lie. Whether you use advanced stats, the eye test or even the smell test, this potential move reeks of Messier 2.0. Stop trying to dream up possible line combinations as well. The Canucks have a few prospects that could, with proper development, help lead this team back to respectability. Why would you want to jeopardize that by aligning them with someone whose skills are waning, doesn't drive play and is a target for the kind of cheap shots he's doled out? Counter-productive much?

So, let's recap. Lucic is:

- overpaid

- overrated

- dirty

- selfish

- gutless

- unsportsmanlike

And this is just the on-ice stuff.  Why exactly do you think that this is a player that can help the Canucks? Perhaps in the spirit of the upcoming election, I should leave you with this:

wrong

(s/t to Habs Eyes On The Prize for the original pic)