2014 NHL Playoffs Night #7

Last night was the first time in the first round everyone I wanted to see win lost. So, in order to sidestep that type of back seat driver "heartache" again, I'm going to actively lie to you beautiful readers and root against my preferred teams tonight. Here we go (deep inhale...)

• 4:00 PM PT - Sami Salo will rise from the ashes and command fire-breathing locust monsters to descend from the black, inky sky and ruin the dreams of every Canadian who wants to see their nation's lone representative in this farcical tourney find a way to 16 wins. Sorry Charlie, Sami Salo has magical powers and uses them only for a special brand of "coming back to win four straight in the playoffs"-type evil.
• 4:30 PM PT - The Bruins will be in Detroit. That's all I can say while maintaining my thin veneer of interest in rooting for the bad teams without projectile vomiting throat lining chunks.
• 5:00 PM PT - The Rangers travel down the parkway to Philadelphia. Since I have nothing but mad respect for Alain Vigneault, nothing would bring me more pleasure than to see his team of well-respected, honest hockey professionals score enough times to secure a victory for the well-read and certainly not morbidly obese Ranger fans in the NYC metro area.
• 7:00 PM PT - The Sharks hitchhike down the I-5 corridor to Los Angeles. Jonathan Quick, the best goalie in the world, will no doubt rebound from his 7OL performance in game two, supported by what I can only assume will be unbelievably clean behavior from the Lady-Byng snubbed Dustin Brown and that two legged testament to strong puritan values Drew Doughty.

So let it be written, so let it be done.