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It's not really hockey if there isn't a Swedish twin with a whale on his chest making the Calgary defense look silly. In lieu of that we'll take this secondary form of "hockey" which, tonight, graces us with the following:
- 4:00 PM PT - The Hal-Gill-still-walks-amongst-us hootenanny in Philadelphia battles whatever Alain Vigneault's gameplan is which will ultimately emasculate and sink the Raphel Diaz-powered Rangers before they try and burn their city to the ground.
- 5:00 PM PT - The defending Cup champs will get two key pieces of their boy band back - the tough one and the cute one, you decide which is which - and head deeper into the heartland to slam faces with Maxim "you do that, you go to the box, two minutes by yourself" Lapierre, Derek "call me Captain futility" Roy and their merry band of Blues in St. Louis.
- 6:30 PM PT - Keith Ballard's defensive prowess and Matt Cooke's last remaining brain cell in Minnesota head up to the Mile High City to dance with Patrick Roy's preschool for gifted youngsters and Cory Sarich.
- 7:30 PM PT - Big pimpin' Willie Mitchell will command his black-clad legion of knee-smashing diving whiners from Los Angeles up North to the tech wasteland home for late hits and high elbows from Raffi Torres, Mike Brown and the rest of the teal-clad guppies.
Here's your gamethread. If you get bored, the Game Show Network has Family Feud on. Or, for the 1% in the crowd who can afford pay cable, HBO is showing Man of Steel which - spoiler alert - only sorta really sucked.
