2014 NHL Playoffs Night #1

The big dance for that silver thingy we weren't invited this year to kicks off tonight with three games:

• 4:00 PM PT - Dale Weise's nose in Montreal takes on the Sami Salo Devastation Tour sponsored by Gorilla Tape in Tampa
• 4:30 PM PT - The Jack Johnson capri pants special in Columbus heads east to clash with Taylor Pyatt's panty dropping pretty eyes in Pittsburgh
• 7:00 PM PT - The "Two Benns / One Rome" webisode in Dallas two steps west towards the Bryan Allen-still-plays-professional-hockey-no-seriously perspicacity in Anaheim

Here's your gamethread. Contain your excitement accordingly.