clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Points for teeth? Yes, points for teeth.

New, comments

That's the best headline I've written in months.

Like the rest of the Province we've grown into big Zack Kassian fans. In less than a year the kid came into town at the expense of a popular rookie and took some bumps along the way, trained hard over the summer, overcame some adversity and began this season thus far proving his upside which sold Mike Gillis on him in the first place.

Now as the third Sedin he owns the most plush job around so in addition to driving the play and drawing penalties he's on a .67 points per game pace which would give him about 32 points this short season. Sure it's a small sample size and perhaps the wheels come off the happy bus, but we have precious few rookies to drool over (though between Kassian, Schroeder and Tanev it's been a good stretch of games) so be quiet while we enjoy ourselves.

Oh, also, Kass did this. A thousand times that. You're welcome humanity.

As long as the Kassassination wave continues, we felt some charity should go alongside it. Here's the deal: since that grin you see at the top of the page has become his trademark (of course it has a twitter account), we're going to kick some money towards the Strathcona Community Dental Clinic - a non-profit dental services company that helps low income families and children in Vancouver - for every point he scores from here on out. If you have some extra coin and a heart, feel free to match us.

The devil in the details:

  • Every Kassian Goal: $5
  • Every Kassian Assist: $3
  • Bonus! Every Kassian PPG: $5
  • Bonus!! Every Kassian GWG: $10
  • Bonus!!! Every Kassian PS: $20
  • Bonus!!!! Every Kassian SHG: $50

We're already on the hook for $38 bucks and if the spring runs long again we look forward to going broke. All for teeth. Because the sheer lunacy of this idea rules, Kassian deserves all mortal praise and children deserve to have a strong dental foundation to ruin later in life with sugar and high-fructose corn syrup.

Sunrise, sunset.