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Morning Buzz: So those afternoon games can take a hike

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Hey everyone, it's Monday, I'm tired, I may mail half of this in, but I'll get to a few things first. Canucks, other Assholes. Motown beat down. What a day. What. A. Day.

Claus Andersen

Morning, everyone! Hope your weekend wasn't taking care of two puking children like mine was. Though I will say this, my Son is a man when it comes to throwing up. Oh yeah. Pukes, gets right back in the game. Me? I puke and want my mom. I know. What a biggity-bitch. Canucks news following a Motown beat down and some other shit. Lets get at it!

Canucks News:

>> The Canucks were blown the fuck out. I'll admit that I didn't catch much of this game. Two sick kids and not enough Dora the Explorer and Batman to go around. Anyways, as Botch has the story and gives the assist to the refs in this big stinker. Also from Botch, a homecoming turns into a fucking nightmare for Zack Kassian.

>> Someone hit and run my car last night in Prince George. I'm not saying it was Ben Kuzma, I'm just using that as an introduction into Kuz's Canucks Hat Trick.

>> The high point of the shit show yesterday? Shap has come back to the Nightly Provies. Fantastic stuff.

>> A couple of hits from Canucks Army. The first comes courtesy of Patrick Johnston. He talks about the proposed realignment and where the Vancouver Canucks fall into place. Cam Charron breaks down yesterdays matinee, where the Canucks may or may not have shit the money bed.

>> And last, but certainly not least. We rub a little salt in our wounds with yet another recap of yesterdays game against those bastard Detroit Red Wings. This one comes courtesy of Pass it to Bulis.

That's all for the Canucks this AM, folks. My internet at work right now is spotty at best. I'll update this as the day goes along. Lets see what those other assholes are up to.

The Other Guys:

>> The Washington Capitals have given goalie Braden Holtby a two-year $3.7 million dollar extension. Right now, Michael Neuvirth is crying into his pillow, spitting on the head shot of GM George McPhee.

>> Philadelphia Flyers neglected red headed step child, Jakub Voracek was named the NHL's first start of the week

>> Oh, hey! Taylor "Um, can you show me how to lace my skates" Hall admits that the video of his hit on Minnesota Wild forward Cal Clutterbuck looks pretty bad. Thank you, Taylor. No back to your room to think about what you've done.

>> Call me crazy, but I don't think an official announcement from a team is needed when you see a dudes head slam off the boards. But the Penguins have said that Evegeni Malkin will not travel with the team as he is concussed.

>> The Chicago bastards Blackhawks won again. Keeping that point streak going. Wouldn't it suck to go this strong out of the gate and then shit the bed during the playoffs? Yeah, bet no one else is thinking that.

>> I don't fucking like Ryane Clowe. Maybe it's becase there's an E on the end of Ryan, or I just think he's a total fucking douche bag. Then again, it takes a real special piece of shit to reach his stick over the boards and play the puck. Pretty sure those kids were called poor sports and sent home with their stick. Loser. Anyways, he has a hearing today with the league in which he could be suspended 10 games. Maybe he'll take that stupid fucking E off the end of his first name.

>> Remember thinking we had it bad with Sami Salo and all his injuries? Can you imagine being Antti Miettinen? Not only does EA Sports fuck up and make him a left handed shot year after year, but in his first game back off of an upper body injury, he's hurt on his first shift and is now out again with a lower body injury. What a shit sandwich.

>> I'll end today with this. Zdeno Chara scored on a spin-o-rama. That is MY move, asshole! Granted I don't score and the spin looks unintentional, it's still my move!

That's all for now, folks. I better quit while I'm a head and while I still have internet. Thanks for reading. Have a great day!

- Mitch