It's days like this where I don't particularly enjoy writing a news post. The Canucks are slumping and in the middle of a three day break, so naturally all anyone is talking about is how bad they are. All we can do in this situation is point to something clearly worse than the Canucks right now, which is where the new Van Halen video comes in:
There's so much wrong here, I don't even know where to start. The awful camera work? David Lee Roth's inept lip synching? The annoying-but-just-catchy-enough chorus? Seriously, who wants to hear a 56-year-old David Lee Roth sing the words "tramp stamp tat"?
The worst part is, according to Sammy Hagar, the upcoming Van Halen album (that he's not involved in) is just made up of a bunch of outtakes from the mid-70s. Be sure to catch them on their 2012 "Eddie's Gotta Eat" Tour.
Vancouver Canucks News & Notes
The Canucks could play .500 hockey until the end of the season and still finish 2nd in the West. See, they're not slumping, they're just playing the odds! Smart. [The White Towel]
Trust me guys, one day we'll all look back on this slump and laugh. We'll call it "The Great Sedin Scoring Famine of 2012". [PITB]
While the Canucks try to find their game, the new players like Zack Kassian are looking to get better too and permanently cement their spots in the lineup. [The Province]
The Tinfoil Toque hates a lot of things, including the slumping Canucks, the red line, and...Evgeni Malkin? :O [Canucks Army]
Fact: Cam Charron loves Christopher Tanev, who also happens to be really good.
Thomas Drance checks in on Canucks first round prospect Nicklas Jensen, who does it all for the Oshawa Generals. [Canucks Army]
Mike Gillis is in favour of handing out a minor penalty to a player who makes a hand pass in the defensive zone. Be sure to read the comments, which contain a riot joke and someone calling Gillis "a whining idiot". Who does Gillis think he is, suggesting ways to improve the game at a GM meeting? What a whiner! [PHT]
David Booth ate a gas station sandwich yesterday. He's been declared day-to-day by the medical staff and is hopeful for tomorrow's game against Phoenix.
Today in Canucks History
[March 13, 1976] Vancouver plays its only penalty-free contest as neither the Canucks nor the New York Rangers are assessed any penalties by referee Lloyd Gilmour. Canucks lose 7-3 to the Rangers.
 Canucks centre, Brendan Morrison plays his 500th consecutive NHL game. By the end of the season, Morrison played 512 consecutive games and held the league iron man record.
NHL News & Notes
Mark Spector on the NHL GM meetings. It appears that hybrid icing and the removal of hand passes in the defensive zone have a fair bit of traction. [Sportsnet]
Elliotte Friedman with some thoughts on Ilya Bryzgalov's resurgence, plus 30 more. [CBC]
More from our glorious Canadian Broadcasting Corporation: Don Cherry was confusing on March 10th. [Legion of Blog]
This link is not for the squeamish. According to Rob Pizzo, the Southeast Division is such a disaster it could make you puke. [Backhand Shelf]
The Stanchion looks at the best and worst of NHL player tweets from the past week. I totally laughed out loud at Biz Nasty's "how long do you leave a tea bag in for?" It's funny regardless of which kind of tea bag he's talking about. [Legion of Blog]