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And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Tuesday Links)

I don't even know why I did this.
I don't even know why I did this.

Well folks, the long weekend is over. You know what this means? This means many of us will be going to school, back to work, or if you're Tiger Woods, drying your tears on your favorite strippers hair extensions. Many of us in Vancouver will be equally bitter about the recent blast of amazing weather hitting us in September instead of during the summer. Nothing quite says Vancouver like "Hey, look what you could have had. But you can't have it. Go Boston."

But if there is one positive to be had after the labor day long weekend, it's that we are that much closer to hockey. We are that much closer to designating the next Gretzky on the Canucks based on a handful of exhibition games. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you'll know that due to my busy schedule, I have decided to pre-book my "Next Gretzky" and have thus chosen Mark Mancari as the next big thing. I will be pumping his tires all training camp long, and will be equally crushed when the Canucks don't see the potential in Mancari that I do. CAN'T YOU SEE GILLIS?? MANCARI! HE JUST NEEDS TO PUT IT ALL TOGETHER! HE IS THAT CLOSE!! OK SO I WAS WRONG ABOUT DRUKEN, BUT I'M NOT WRONG ABOUT THIS ONE!!

Anyways, with that being said, I hope you all have a Mancari of a day (read: wicked and unstoppable). But only after you read the latest news making its way around the hockey world!

Also, since I was accused of being too "pro-lady" on my last article by Nucks Misconduct reader 'westy99', I have to put in something for the guys. Sorry ladies.


Vancouver Canuck News:


  • Vancouver Canuck pre-season tickets go on sale this Saturday. Or as I call it "Oh, yeah, pre-season tickets, I already get those because I have season tickets. Oh was that bragging? Yeah. Yeah it probably was."  If you want the schedule and you still have been unable to figure out this "google" crazy and/or are scared of surfing the internet with supervision, check out the Vancouver Sun for a breakdown of the pre-season schedule. Or as my grandpa claims, "If you google, the Germans win!". So yeah, you guys that google, you're the reason Ehrhoff got 10 million. Jerks. [The Vancouver Sun]
  • This article is days old, but it is still a great read, and not enough people read Canucks Army. So if you want to read up on Yann Sauve, or if you're the guy who hit Yann with your car and you want to at least know a little bit about your victim, go on over and give it a read! Plus let's be honest, who doesn't enjoy reading about Canucks prospects. This is when we can pretend they will all be amazing and not total failures. Just do me a favor, don't let the young guys know what's coming. You know, the part where once they make the team, there will be 18 threads dedicated to what kind of cereal they like, then 12 more threads discussing about how they chose the wrong cereal, then about 5 threads wondering if he has a girlfriend and if so, how/when we can "remove" them from the scenario.......WE WILL BREAK YOU. [Canucks Army]
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  • By now you have all heard....ok seriously, sorry, but this editor can sometimes be a pain in the ass. You see that bullet point beside the picture of Ivan Drago? It won't go away. It is the Aaron Rome of my editing life. GOD DAMN YOU. Anyways, by now you have all heard the news about Manny Legace getting a shot at being Eddie Lack's towel boy. Well, Marcus Hondro has an article with Manny about the entire process of being kicked out of the NHL only to have a shot at redemption due to Mike Gillis's wildly popular "Adopt an Aging Veteran" program. There are rumors, however, that Gillis was not using the Aging Veteran program for Legace, he was just hedging his bets by getting a backup Manny. "You can never have enough Mannys" Gillis was quoted as saying in my head.[Suite 101]
  •  Want to see how to not report the news? Crash the crease has an amazing link to an article of newcomer Marco Strum, he of the guitar based origins, who is trying to make an impact with the team. No word on if Sturm is upset at having to face off against his alter-ego Strum. [Crash the Crease]
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  • Winging It in Motown has an article up about "Knowing Thy Enemy" and it looks like it's Vancouver's turn to face their wrath. The article is sadly far too nice, so I can't even make fun of them too much. The only questionable part of the article was them referring to Alex Edler as a depth defenceman, but they used quotes around 'depth defenceman' so either it's a hilarious inside joke I am unaware of, or they don't know anything about Edler and on top of that, used quotes incorrectly. Upon further reading you can tell this article was written by non-Canuck fans as they discuss the fact that Bieksa "might have more offensive potential" then previously thought, and then go on to say he might have a run at the Norris trophy in him. God bless you kind souls. They also mention Torres as a "role player" and dismiss his loss as nothing big......I see in Detroit they allow monkeys on keyboards to make hockey comments......DO NOT SPEAK OF THE RAFFI THIS WAY. (Feel free to bash my Raffi love in the comments, I'll meet you there with coffee). Regardless, it's a fun read from an outside perspective about our team heading into the new season. [Winging It in Motown]
  • And a late entry from Canucks Army once again, as they begin their Pokemon like quest to collect them all, as they cover yet another Canuck prospect. This time Thomas Druce looks into the unqiue skill set that Eddie Lack brings to the organization. "It's his gentle can tell he's a caring individual." [Canucks Army]
NHL News and Notes: 
  • Jamie McLennan, he of the rich and retired goalie trying to take jobs away from us bloggers by getting into the writing business, goes over some of the oddest fan interactions he's ever had. GUESS WHICH CITY HIS TOP MOMENT WAS IN? Yup. Vancouver. Go us. The next best part? Guess which Canuck it involved?? ENRICO CICCONE. I'll wait while you vomit. Oh? There are some of you who don't know who this is? Enrico Ciccone is from the "Dark Days" of the Canucks. The Mark Messier days. This was back when Garth Snow was a 'number one goalie' and not a mediocre GM (notice the proper use of quotes.) Back when Steve Washburn called Vancouver home. Want to know a funny Mike Keenan trick? Anytime he'd trade for a new defenceman, he'd play the absolute shit out of that guy. I'm talking 25 minutes a night, making him play like he's a number one d-man for at least a week. Then he'd drop that guy and move onto his new boy toy. Enrico was one such man. Dude got top 2 minutes for like 2 weeks. Still blows my mind. Anyways, read away at [The Hockey News]
  • Damien Cox has an insightful, thoughtful, awe, wait, sorry. I would never do that to you guys, I won't link NSFW hockey crap like that. Instead I will give you a piece by Greg Wyshynski as he talks about how Vancouver embarrassed itself yet again in regards to THE RIOTS. Watch as Greg climbs the high horse and reigns down judgement, albeit mostly deservedly, on the city of Vancouver. He should probably take less time to enjoy it, though. Bet you guys thought you were going to get through this without riot talk, eh? Jokes on you! Although, the joke is on me as well because the NHL news and notes section is all about Vancouver. Ah well, might as well maintain the stereotype of it being all about us, all the time. GO CANUCKS GO! [Puck Daddy]
Off the Stanchion Link:
  • World's largest hockey stick and puck, in Duncan BC. [CLICK ME]
Video of the Day:

Rob Ray Backhands Enrico Ciccone (via sabrz)

The aforementioned Enrico Ciccone gets backhanded in the face by Rob Ray. Best part of the video? The announcer throwing in a "BO-O-O-O-O-OING!!!!" sound effect for the possible concussion. Man, could you imagine if we had that today for Crosby's headshot? Mind. Blown. "And Crosby skates down- BO-O-O-O-O-O-O-ING! He's down!" *insert clown whistle*

Stanchions Gif O' the Day:

I am running out of gif's, but I still have a few good ones left up my sleeve. Watch the power.......the power of Kes Skull!