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And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with less Hodgson)

That internal meter that measures my enjoyment of the pre-season has finally hit the "tedious" level. I need this pre-season to end, if for nothing else it will ensure I actually see NHL players. As much as I enjoy Minnesota Wild mode for our team, I would like to see our actual team go out there and play. I honestly don't know how effective it is to throw our farm team to the wolves in these games, but hey, I don't get paid the big bucks, so let's all pretend Gillis and co. know what they're doing on this one.

As for the game itself, it was a bit of a snoozer. It had its highlights, such as when Dan Boyle reminded me once again why I roll my eyes every time I see him throw his little tantrums on the ice, and when Keith Ballard went crazy with his hip checks, but overall it was yet another game of stifled offence for the Canucks who have a total of 13 goals this pre-season. I don't know about you, but the terrible offence is starting to wear on me, especially coming off of what was probably one of the worst offensive Cup performances of all time. I think the fans deserve an 8-1 beating of the opposition. 

The main highlight of the pre-season for me has been the play of Maxim Lapierre. I thought there was going to be a bigger drop off from Stanley Cup Run Lappy vs Regular Season Lappy, and while the intensity is obviously not the same, Lapierre is still making an impact in every game I watch. He is playing the game smart right now, and he is still out working his opposition. He is tenacious on the forecheck and he tries to take the puck to the net whenever he can. I honestly feel like Lapierre could reclaim his role on the 3rd line center spot if his play continues like this. I am interested to see who Lappy ends up with as line mates, but either way, I think the Canucks have nailed down their 4th line center spot with one of the best in the league.

So Lapierre, you get my MVP of the pre-season trophy. Nothing could happen on Saturday to change that aside from Keith Ballard hip checking Taylor Hall into the hair and then MANcari slapping the puck to hit him out of said air. So aside from awarding Ballard and MANcari double MVP honors for the slaying of Taylor Hall, I happily give Lapierre this meaningless honor. Off to the news we go!


Vancouver News and Notes:


  • Before we get to the game links, give a read over at Canucks Army as Patrick Johnston gets in a very good interview with Jason Shavers, the play by play man for the Chicago Wolves. The interview gives some good insight into the type of farm team the Canucks have associated themselves with, setting the bar pretty high for the upcoming season [Canuck Army]
  • Ian MacIntyre share's my view of the pre-season, as he questions the lack of veterans and also the tedious nature of this years pre-season. He also gets in a good shot at the NBA. Take that, Grizzlies! He then describes the action of last nights game, at which point, I fell asleep as I don't want to read a 5th recap of last nights garbage. But should you feel the need to punish yourself, please read it over at [The Vancouver Sun]
  • "Get back on the horse." "Stick to the system." "Give it a 100%". "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." Which of these cliches are used in this Washington Post article about the Canucks trying to make it back to the finals? I'LL NEVER TELL YOU. But you can read here to find out. It even includes a quote from Mikael "I have one speed: Pre-season speed" Samuelsson [Washington Post]
  • Watch Tony Gallagher create and then defeat his own argument, as he discusses the odd approach the Canucks have taken on pre-season this year. I am pretty sure it's safe to say it's finally happened; Tony has reproduced by duplicating himself, which has resulted in arguing within his own articles. Read all of Tony's thoughts on the world (Like why can't more breakfast foods be served with marshmallows?) over at The Vancouver Sun, Via the Province, Via some hidden satellite by the moon. [The Vancouver Provsunmoon]
  • For those who missed it, Volpatti Pepperminted Brad Winchester last night, dropping him with one punch. The result? Winchester dropping to the ground and almost doing the splits, confusingly waving off Volpatti as if to say "What the eff, I can't even stand up and I may have peed myself", and many Canuck fans tweeting "That's why we didn't sign him, lolz" Puck Daddy covered this historic event, and shockingly it wasn't even Mooney shilling the Canucks on this one, Greg himself did the honors. [Puck Daddy]
  • Want NBC's odds of which team is going to win each division? The list looks pretty good except for a few small errors. This is NBC afterall. For instance, in the South East division they have "Jerry Seinfeld" winning the division, in the Pacific division they have "ABC SUCKS" coming in third and in the Central Division they just have a giant nude picture of Nancy Grace. Aside from that, though, it is a good read. [NBC]
  • I want to consistently remind you of how outdated ESPN's model is for trying to charge people for mediocre content so let's all have a good laugh at how shitty ESPN is. Ha ha! That felt good. Also, here's a link to the cover of their magazine that jinxed the Red Sox. [ESPN - You just got charged $10 for reading this link title]
NHL News and Notes:
  • Maybe it's just me, but sometimes a story about accomplishing a goal just isn't that interesting to me. I have no doubt it is interesting for the person completing their mission, but I don't necessarily want to read about it. Watching 30 games in 30 cities? I can dig that. That's kind of cool as I can see why someone would want to do that. But playing hockey in every state and 6 provinces? I just don't really care. It just seems so arbitrary. You might as well set your goal as playing hockey with a flaming stick while texting your ex-girlfriend from 2 years ago to get your favorite shirt back while kicking off a pack of wild KHL dogs, and it would make as much sense to me as setting a goal to play hockey everywhere. But if you are not as jaded as me and you get tears in your eyes when you watch Tim Horton commercials (DOUBLE DOUBLE), then give it a read over at [Yahoo Sports]
  • Jeff Carter escaped his bat cave long enough to register one goal before taking off, never to be seen again. When asked about the goal after the game, Carter began to weep in front of the reporters, screaming for Mike Richards, and demanding he be taken back to Philly. He was then beaten in the head with a club by what the team called "Jeff Carter's Life Coach", and was taken away on a stretcher. Still, none of this changes the ultimate taste of victory the Jackets got to feel as they beat the Wild 4-2. Dany Heatly even got a point without being wasted, so kudos to Dany! The boys over at the Canon do an awesome recap as per usual. [The Canon]
  • BOSTON LOSES! BOSTONS LOSES!!! Alas this headline is several months too late. Still, a pre-season loss feels just as good, right? Right? Sigh. Ottawa beats the Bruins 2-1. I am sure Thomas made a save that showed what a "battler" he is, and that he "battled" to make it to the locker room and "battled" to talk to the press after the game. HE'S SUCH A BATTLER OH MY GOD! BATTLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. The boys as Silver Seven start with the headline "Senators get least deserved victory in NHL pre-season history" so I am intrigued by the game I missed. [Silver Seven]
  • Wayne Simmonds continues to lead the charge on "guys you want to pick in your pool but you don't know how high to pick them" list as he got two points in a Flyers 2-1 win over the Devils. Jagr also got another goal, leaving many poolies wondering when to take him. So basically the Flyers are being a bunch of jerks. The best part about reading all these blogs when I do the links today? Everyone agrees pre-season means nothing, so there is no point of getting excited about anything. [Broad Street Hockey]
  • St. Louis beat the Av's in the annual "Hey you know we totally won that Johnson trade, right? cup. Stewart and Shattenkirk didn't even bother scoring. "The trade was bad enough. We don't need to rub their faces in it" explained Stewart. [Mile High Hockey]
  • Flames beat the Coyotes 4-2. That doesn't matter. What does matter is that somehow the Flames survived a Raffi Torres encounter. Luckily for the Flames, Ginger Beard doesn't fully activate until the end of the year, and for one brilliant stretch in November. And guess what link I'm giving you? That's right, the Yahoo Sports Link of Failure! Neither SB blog has a game recap up. I would link you to the gameday threads, but I will spare you from reading 800 comments about Iginla's back spasms. [Yahoo Sports]
  • OWNED. SUCK IT. WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO? These are just many of the things I assume Ribeiro told the Panthers as he single handedly spanked them with 6 points.  Things got so bad that at one point Ribeiro didn't even bother faking an injury himself, he got one of the new guys to do it for him. "In a game like that, when you're bitch slapping your opponent around, you need to be gentleman, so I had someone else fake an injury. No point of rubbing it in their faces" said Ribs after the game.[Litter Box Cats]
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Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize (Music Video) HQ (via jesusinfrance27)

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