And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with more Shanabanning)

I don't know which happens more now, Red Sox failure, or suspensions Shanahan has to hand out. I can't wait until Shanahan starts doing his videos in his car while getting McDonald's takeout in the drive through. "So yeah, that will be one Big Mac and a 5 game suspension. No, not you, Todd Bertuzzi gets 5 games. I get the Big Mac."

With no game on tonight (Next game is Wednesday) we are stuck with an off-day of doing nothing but making up hockey rumors, eating junk food, and wondering where the next pay cheque is coming from. In other words, today is Eklund day. So feel free to post your rumor about which superstar is coming here next, or which domino is about to fall, and who knows, maybe you'll get your own website.

As camp nears the one concern I have is the loss of Ryan Kesler. I know we have depth, but we don't have elite depth. So the loss of Kesler, which right now isn't being felt, is something that concerns me when the usual October blues hit the Canucks. I see myself replaying a ton of Ryan Kesler vs the Nashville Predators playoff clips and rocking back and forth whispering to myself "He'll come back for me, he'll come back for me" over and over again.

As for a MANcari update, I assume he is out there saving lives and bench pressing trucks, If there are any terrorist alerts they will most likely call in the MANcari-bomb to be put to good use. Also as much as I would love for MANcari to make the team due to his talents alone, and not that I wish injuries upon anyone else, the latest injuries to the Canucks have probably made Mark's path to the NHL a little bit easier.

I also plan to have a kick ass Shanahan video out this week (Two can play at that game good sir!) and I hope to debut it here first. Because, you know, there are so many other places begging for me to debut it. (Just pretend for my sake.)

With that being said, we have news, notes, songs of the day, videos of the day, and the tweet of the day all ahead!

Vancouver Canuck News:

• Pumping my own tires is one of the perks of the job, and pump them I will! Being sick from work has its benefits as I got to photoshop the absolute crap out of Ron MacLean's shirtless night in Victoria! Want to see what weapon Ron MacLean prefers to use to defend himself from a zombie invasion? Or what book he keeps by his bedside? To find out hit up my blog at [Off the Stanchion]
  
• Twitter user @tahneecanuckee beat me to the punch and tracked down MANcari before I could and got a picture with Mark. Is Mark completely stoned in this picture? Most likely. Is that the only thing preventing him from going on a rampage taking out people with his MANcari bomb? Most assuredly. [Twitter]
• Some people are pushing for Duco to make the team, which the MANcari fan in me screams at, but Duco has shown he can play an effective agitating style. That style is one the Canucks erased out of Lapierres, Burrows, and Kesler's game last year, however, so it remains to be seen if he can make the team playing like he usually does. Did Marchand make the Canucks change their approach on this? Or do the Canucks think neutering Duco will work like it did with Maxim? Time will tell! Read more about Duco's efforts at [Vancouver Sun]
• Matt Sekeres had a deadline to get an article done, and that he did, as he files this brief brief interlude about Nick Jensen. What does AV think of Jensen? What needs to be improved? What are his chances of making the team? What is his potential? None of that is answered in this. Give it a read (Do you have 5 seconds of time?) at [Globe and Mail]
• Welcome to Vancouver Eddie Lack. After spotting two shutout half games, Lack looked mortal against San Jose, so Gord McIntyre has deemed Lack not ready for NHL backup duties. Sorry Lack, we only support you until your first loss. [Vancouver Province]

NHL News and Notes:

• Wayne Simmonds is in the news again, but this time no longer as the victim. According to Sean Avery, Simmonds called Avery a homosexual slur (Begins with an 'F', you should be able to work it out) during the Rangers/Flyers game last night. And since I am about the furthest you can be from being a PC kind of guy (meaning I don't take too many things seriously), plus I am neither black nor gay, I will leave it up to others to wage battle in this war [Montreal Gazette]
• Canucks Army has a special guest writer weigh in on the Sean Avery fiasco, and it is a very good read. I highly recommend you give it a look see. [Canucks Army]
• Also, for the three people that aren't aware of this old NHL video, here is a video of players taunting Brian Bellows. They also use the "F" word, which if this video was released today, god help those poor players souls. I only post this to show how ingrained that insult probably is in hockey culture and that the NHL is probably thanking the gods more mics don't pick up what's being said on the ice. I do have to say this video is awesome for one thing, and that is the part where one of the guys repeatedly calls Brian Bellows a "superstar". Which proves to me that the best kind of insult doesn't have to resort to tired slurs. If some guy kept calling me a "real ****ing superstar. You're the best Stanch. The best." It would piss me off, I won't lie. 
• Stevens and Trottier Heckling Bellows (Long Version) (via svb4)

• James Wisnieswki and Brad Staubitz felt the wrath of the Shanaban yesterday as Sheriff Brendan nailed The Wiz for 8 games and Staubitz for 3 games. Because they ordered their bans together, Shanahan threw in a bonus offer of not having to play anymore pre-season games as a special gift. To read just how much Wisnieswki lost in money (I know, it breaks your heart to hear of a millionaire losing $500,000) go over to the hockey giants over at [News OK]

• The story broke yesterday but just in case you didn't hear (Plus it's the kind of story you want tell and tell again as a Canuck fan), Brad Marchand is a 'Champian" of the world. After the Bruins won the cup (Did that actually happen? All I remember is fleeing from Rogers arena with about a minute left in the game...I assumed the Canucks made a legendary comeback.) some of them got tattoos. The problem was Brad had his spelt out as "Champians". It has since been corrected, but being a petty hockey fan, I will always think to myself of Brad as a "Champian." "You're a superstar Brad. You're a champian. Champian of the warld. Nathing can beat you Brad. Yau're a true Champian." [Puck Daddy]

• I read the score as Ottawa 1 Washington 3 because I am used to there only being one "W" team in the league. God damnit Jets, you are making it really hard to like you. I also like to judge a blog on how quickly they get a game recap up on their site (unless it's us. Then I assume a natural disaster occurred that distracted us if it's late) and I have to tell you, I thought the Jets fans would be more excited about their team. As of this moment, no game recap is up, so I have three choices. One, I send you to a shitty Yahoo box score. Two, I send you to the dead SBN Atlanta Thrashers blog. Which, let's face it, would be really depressing. Especially since their last post there was in July, and they talk about how SB was going to remove their blog if there wasn't any activity. Third, I can send you to Silver Seven, and their review of the game. And that I shall because if I know anything, it's that a teams fan base that has nothing but losing ahead of them for an entire year will be really really good at picking its team apart. One thing to note: Remember when Mark Scheifele was picked by the Jets instead of Sean Couturier? We all laughed at Simple Jets making us ha-ha-ha-happy, but so far the kid as 5 goals on the pre-season. Obviously it's just pre-season, but still....anyhoo, read more about Ottawa's heroic loss at [Silver Seven]

• The Flyers also played hockey tonight, against the Rangers, as they won the game 5-3. Jaromir Jagr is doing what I like to call the "Fantasy **** Tease" by playing really well in the pre-season. Jagr had 3 points tonight, 2 of them goals, as he looked, well, Jagr-like on the power play out there. What this means is you will be tempted to draft him higher in your hockey pool than you should, but you won't, but then you'll get really pissed of when some guy steals him a round before you were going to take him. I hate Jagr type players in the pools. Go read more at the Flyers SBN blog, they do an awesome break down of the game including videos, info on the next Shanaban victim, and some pretty sweet Ilya Brygzalov quotes about the Rangers [Broad Street Hockey]

• Caps beat the Jackets 3-1. Did Jeff Carter play? Did Jeff Carter smile? Did Jeff Carter laugh? I don't know if we'll ever know. Oh Jeff, you are the enigma of the NHL. Read all about the game over at [The Cannon]

• Apparently Boston won again, but I still don't give a ****. For a good break down on a game that may or may not have happened, go check out [Eyes on the Prize]
• And lastly, Chris Campoli signed with the Habs yesterday. This means two things. One, we're guaranteed a win against Montreal now. And two, I get to post this.