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And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with more Mancari)

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Who is this man??
Who is this man??

Mystery of the Week:

As many of you know, I start every day off watching Alex Burrows beat Chicago in overtime of game 7. Nothing gets my day started better than watching Ryan Johnson screw up, Johnny Toews duck his head in fear of a puck that never arrives, and Chris Campoli thinking about how much money he is going to cash in on after he makes this sick play off the boards, all before Alex Burrows double taps the puck past a saddened Cory Crawford. 

It was during the 7838th viewing of this goal that I saw something kind of funny. At first I was amused by how the second Burrows got that puck, the entire crowd jumped to it's feet in anticipation. "How very Canadian of us" I thought to myself, "our fans are good, we recognize a great scoring chance." But then I noticed something else. I noticed a fan stand up almost before everyone else. He stood up before Burrows dropped the puck. And he held up his arm in celebration. One arm. Lofted up in the air. In celebration.

Now the question begs, was this man so certain of a goal that he lifted his arm in pre-celebration to get a nice head start on his buddies? Was he holding a cell phone to try and record a potential famous moment in Canucks history? Maybe he was saluting his friends in the upper bowl? 

It could be any of those things, but like all good conspiracy theories, I want to believe he knew the Canucks were going to score. Which scares me, because no Canuck fan should be that certain of a goal being scored. All of us are trained to assume we will lose. The Canucks win game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals after being up 3-0 in the series? I assume the NHL will discover a hidden rule about the NHL Finals actually being a best of 9 series. They sent out a DVD, don't you know?

But nope. Not this guy. This guy seems so certain they will score, he just leaves the arm hanging the moment Burrows grabs that puck. I want to know who you are good sir. I need to know. WHO ARE YOU?? HOW DID YOU KNOW BURROWS WAS GOING TO SCORE?? Do we really need 88mph to travel back through time?? TELL ME!


Alex Burrows 2-1 OT Goal - Chicago Blackhawks @ Vancouver Canucks 2011 Quarterfinals Game 7 (CBC) (via playnetvideos)

Seriously, watch the video. Look for this guy. I wish I knew what he knew.

News after the jump!

Vancouver Canuck News:


  • Those fabulous Danes that brought us Jannik Hansen are also doing their best to import another hockey player with a hidden beast mode (assuming you unlock it by clearing the level of all goblets), as Nicklas Jensen attempts to have an impact at the Young Stars tourney. Nicklas Jensen, or as I like to think of him, the next guy we'll trade away to become a 30 goal scorer elsewhere, talks of his love of his homeland, but also of his love of playing hockey and embracing North America as the place to learn it best. I don't know if it means anything, but Lawrence Gilman was holding what looked to be a gun, and anytime Jensen talked too glowingly about Denmark, Gilman would nod his head slightly and Jensen would hurriedly switch topics.  [Vancouver Sun]
  • It's Tuesday. Which means you got past Monday. That's pretty good, right? Hockey is starting soon, and the Canucks look like they still have a pretty strong team, right? WELL YOU'RE WRONG. David Shoalts takes a giant dump in your cornflakes as he tells us why history suggest the Canucks won't make it back to the finals.My favorite part of the article was him describing Raymond as a 3rd liner. Which he is. I am glad people are accepting this instead of pretending he is a 2nd liner. Also, little does David know that odds mean nothing to us in Vancouver, as there aren't too many teams that go up 2-0 in the finals, than 3-2 in the finals, and end up losing game 7 on home ice. Stats were made to be broken, beaten, kicked in the face, and eventually stabbed 47 times by Vancouver.  KILL THE BIRD. [Globe and Mail]
  • K-Conn. Conn Man. Kay 2008. That guy you keep trying use as a throw in for a trade in NHL 11 for Steve Stamkos. Kevin Connauton.  Whatever you want to call him, NHL.COM made a mistake and actually did a story about the Canucks, so if you want to read about the Canucks being patient with K-Conn (Read: We have too much depth, so he can sit his ass down for a while) please go read it at [NHL.COM] 
  • Did anybody watch the Young Stars game last night? If you did, you must have noticed the great performance shown by Longpre, as he was visible all over the ice last night. Longpre, at the age of 23, is running out of time to get a contract with a team, so last night went a long way towards him securing an AHL deal. He has shown the ability to beat up a crippled child in the form of Flames prospects, hell, he even Ryan Keslered the Flames with 15 seconds left, leaving me excited to see what else he can do at the tourney. Read about that, and the fact Polasek broke Teuberts nose (Which means 837 articles about banning fighting in hockey just got created) at the [Vancouver Sun]

NHL News and Notes:
  • Apparently Chicago has an NHL team? If any of you are interested, Comcast has an article about how super awesome they are. To be honest, it's a very boring article. I can sum it up: "Chicago can hit again. Yay. Time to win the cup." You know an article is reaching when it goes to John Scott for a quote. [Comcast Sports]
  • In happier news, Patrick Sharp will be out 3-4 weeks after undergoing an appendectomy. Says Sharp "I was fine, I was going through practice like usual, taking my shots, getting in some skating, when all of a sudden I see Johnny Toews plowing through children. I'm not talking one kid here, I'm talking 10-12 kids, just nailing them left and right. He starts screaming "Are you not entertained??" like he's in Gladiator or something. Next thing I know he picks up two sticks and he's trying to take some kids head off. I run after him to calm him down and all I can hear is him muttering about not hearing the whistle for the accuracy shooting contest and I'm thinking 'geezus, that was last year man' but next thing I know Toews lunges at me and stabs me in the side. I fall to the ice and see Toews run one more kid over, sarcastically whispering "you ok buddy?" before I passed out. Next thing I know, David Toews is holding a bandage to my side, tears down his face, telling me 'I guess I play for you guys now' before I pass out again, and I finally wake up here, in Dan Carcillo's bath tub. And all I can think is "dear god, this is 2007 all over again. But at least this time I have my shoes." So, you know, silver linings and all that." [Comcast Sports]
  • My friends over at Winging It In Motown (Well friends until the first Wings game, then I'll pull the ol' "I always thought they were kind of douchebags" move) are continuing to preview the Northwest Division as today's guests are the Edmonton Oilers. They use quotes to refer to Hemsky as a "leader" which I enjoyed. They also explain why in three years time I will probably have the same reaction to Jordan Eberle that all Albertan fans have to the Sedins. You know that reaction? Anytime you play them you know they will score on your team, you know it's going to happen, yet when it inevitably happens you still get super pissed off so you begin inventing stories about the guy so you feel better about hating him? "I bet, man, I know Eberle isn't a cat person, the douchebag probably kills cats, and you know what, what's up with that hair? Who does he think he is? What a dick. Also, who tapes their stick up like that? Freaking idiot. GOD I HATE EBERLE." My only solace is also knowing that Taylor Hall will be in the shadow of Eberle, where that face belongs. [Winging it in Motown]
  • It's a double dose of Winging it in Motown, and it's an older article, but in case you missed it, give a read up on their preview of the Colorado Avalanche. Paul Stastny's dad called it "the best thing I have ever read. Who trades Stewart and Shattenkirk for Eric Johnson? I really hate this team. It's almost as big of a disappointment as my son. Why couldn't you become an engineer like I'd hoped? Someone has to fix the basement up." The best part is watching Av's fans still clinging to the hope that the Stewart and Varlomov trades weren't completely terrible ideas. [Winging it in Motown]
  • HONDA IS BACK! HONDA IS BACK! Thank god, Honda has been renewed as the NHL car of choice. You guys can relax now. I know everyone logged in here to read about this. Phew.  [Big Lead]
Mark Mancari Facts of the Day:

Mancari has two speeds. Fast, or fastest. 
Mancari doesn't miss the net, he was aiming for your face. So I guess he technically misses your face. Which is still missing...hrm...SCREW YOU. Mancari is going to kick ass!!

Off the Stanchion Link of the Day:

Ever wonder what Patrick Lalime would look like if he was a french homeless guy? He would look just like Mark Mancari. [MANCARI] 

Video of the Day:

Mark Mancari Sets Record for Hardest Shot (via LetsGoAmerks)

"That's a RECK CORDDDDDD" as the announcer would say. WAR MANCARI!