And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Monday Links - Now with more iodine)

What's the difference between McDonald's and the game last night between the Oilers and Canucks prospects? At least McDonald's has the courtesy to give you napkins when making you feel like shit.

OR

What's the difference between Aaron Rome and the game last night between the Oilers and Canucks prospects? At least none of these guys will make the Canucks.

OR

What's the difference between Captain Crunch and the game last night between the Oilers and Canucks prospects? Captain Crunch has a cool hat.

Yes, much like these three jokes, last night wasn't pretty. I can't decide which was funnier, however; Was it the Oilers fans getting a little too excited about this win, or was it the Canucks fans attacking the Oilers in defense of the loss. For every "OH MY GOD LOOK AT OUR ORGANIZATIONAL DEPTH!" cry from an Oilers fan came the "Of course you have great prospects, you've been losing at the NHL level for 10 years" from Canuck fans. Which to be honest, kind of warmed my heart a little, because it means hockey is back. So the bad news of last night was that our prospects kind of looked like shit. The good news? We play the Flames prospects tonight, and if there is one team's prospects that should be easy to beat, it would be the Flames.

With that being said, up and at them! Towards the news we go! Today's news is brought to you by goggles. They do nothing.

Vancouver Canuck News:

• The Canucks, apparently spending all of their budget on these professional pictures of our prospects, lost last night. Badly. Just how badly? Well let's ask Thomas Drance from our friends at Canuck Army to find out. Which Canuck prospect looked good? Which Canuck prospect looked bad? Which Canuck prospect uses Head and Shoulders? Which prospect's hidden love is watching Glee in his boxers while boxerscising to his poster of Taylor Swift? All that and more over at [Canuck Army]
• I'm not going to lie, sometimes I have to use filler to make my links section appear larger than it is. If I don't hit a certain quota, Sean makes me watch Aaron Rome highlights all night while playing the soundtrack to High School Musical, screaming at me about being nothing but a failure. This is one of those times. Ian Walker uses what I like to call the "Shit, my papers due tomorrow" approach on this one as he uses a couple of quotes to turn out a story about nothing. Have I pumped you up for this one? Good! Enjoy! [Vancouver Sun]
• Just in case you want to break down last nights game EVEN MORE, you can read the recap from the Edmonton Journal. Thankfully I didn't have to see Taylor Hall's awkward face in this article, which as always, I am extremely grateful for. [Edmonton Journal]
• WANT EVEN MORE OF A BREAKDOWN OF LAST NIGHTS GAME? And yes, no Taylor Hall pictures, thank god he isn't a part of these games. I fear for the days of training camp coming up....But here is a breakdown of last nights game in which Edmonton journalist David Staples refers to Nugent-Hopkins as the Steve Nash of the team. Well, he's just lucky our Wayne Gretzky of the team Cody Hodgson isn't playing in this tourney. Oh wait, sorry, Dave already used Gretzky as a comparison for Nugent-Hopkins later in the article, damnit, didn't know he was taken already. I assume tomorrow RNH will do something Lemiuex like, followed up by an Yzerman like play. Guy needs to pace himself, 2 months into the season he'll be comparing RNH to Aaron Rome, he's going to run out of people to compare RNH to. [Edmonton Journal]
• The Vernon Star did a story on Stefan Schneider, or as I like to call him, "The Schneider that has a soul. No, not the one with the teeth. No not the ginger. Yes, that one." I'm working on this nickname [Vernon Star]
• You know when Darth Vader screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" in the last Star Wars movie. Replace Darth Vader. With me. When reading this. Kesler not feeling ready to start the season [The Province]

NHL News and Notes:

• This section has been cancelled today due to the INTENSE rage I have at this website from deleting it FOR NO REASON. I had an awesome Wellwood joke and article, as well as one about fighting in the NHL, but will you see it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. SO MUCH RAGE.
  

Off the Stanchion Link:

• So apparently you ladies DON'T like having to make yourself look like men? Lexi Peters has had enough of this outrage and she has gone ahead and written in to EA Sports to make sure girls can make characters that actually look like ladies, and not Mike Ricci. I am confused, however, since I was pretty sure they included females in NHL a couple of years ago when they put in Patrick Kane. OH SNAP. OH NO I DIDN'T. [Globe and Mail]



Video of the Day:

This Monday is starting off pretty badly, I won't lie, so I am going to my standby "Make me feel good" video, the infamous Grape Lady video

Grape lady falls! (via yankeesfan22vt)