That was the last weekend in August folks. You know what that means. It's time for Aaron Rome to start prepping for training camp. This means at various times in Vancouver you will see Aaron Rome doing:
"The Weep" : Aaron Rome practices the sinking to his knees and openly sobbing move for anytime he gives the puck away in the slot
"The Sigh" : Aaron Rome works his shoulders, trying to make sure he won't pull anything when he sighs anytime Alain Vigneault doesn't compliment him on his choice of tie
"The Ice and Cackle": Aaron Rome practices icing the puck off the glass and then cackling as he wonders at how easy playing hockey is, whats the big deal, all you have to do is chip it off the glass
"The Ballard" : Aaron Rome practices walking by and spitting on a healthy scratch Keith Ballard
"The Apology" : Aaron Rome practices using a phone to call Nathan Horton to apologize because god knows a Stanley Cup win and a text message is never enough for The Hort.
"The Ehrhoff" : Aaron Rome flies down to Buffalo and does the secret handshake with Darcy Regier, thus granting him a $10 million dollar offer next year. "Act surprised" whispers Regier as he massages Rome's feet
"The Murzyn": Rome practices by having people blow by him while fans throw beer cups and hurl insults his direction. This practice also known as "The Sopel" or "The Rome".
"The Bouncy Castle" : Aaron Rome bounces around in one of those bouncy castles. He giggles.
Ready for some links about the action around the NHL and your Vancouver Canucks? Damn straight you are. It's Monday so lets kick this day off with a booming Raffi Torres head shot of a link!
- You know how when you were a kid, and you earned/stole enough money to buy a really expensive toy? Then when your parents saw it and saw how awesome it was, they began to wonder how much you spent on it? Wouldn't it be cool if you had a law that stated you didn't have to tell them? Well, BC Ferries does, because they refuse to tell how much money they spend on Canucks sponsorship! And oh yeah, since you asked about it, screw you, they ain't going to sponsor the Canucks no more. No word on whether our BC Ferries sponsored goal horn will be replaced by a giant clown nose that honks after the Canucks score. [The Vancouver Sun]
- I like the cut of Jonathan Willis gib, as he likes to use Medieval looking pictures in his stories as much as I do. He also has an interesting article up about three un-drafted Vancouver Giants and their attempts at catching on with an NHL club. Does this involve stripping their way onto the team bus? Read more and find out! [Canucks Army]
- To be honest, I am only posting this link for the three guys that aren't bored as **** reading about how hated the Canucks are. But for those three guys, enjoy this breathtakingly overdone story on why other people probably don't like the Vancouver Canucks! Does it mention the riots you ask? Shockingly, yes! Yay! Pringles for everyone! [The Hockey Writers]
- I won't lie. As a Stanchion, I hate Glass. I hated supporting Glass for all these years. I hated having to carry Glass on my shoulders. I just don't like Glass. So when Glass signed with the Jets, I was pretty stoked. But Tanner Glass genuinely seems like a kick ass nice guy, and I wish him nothing but the best, stanchion jokes aside. Glass reminisces about his buddy Rick Rypien in this article from the Leader-Post. [Leader-Post]
- The Holy Grail. If Indiana Jones has taught us anything it's that we all strive to achieve that item of ultimate power. It's also taught us to not sleep with the same lady our dad is sleeping with. And Chris Tanev is the latest "Holy Grail" of the Canucks, as we all wonder if we've uncovered the next hidden gem on defence. Read Thomas Druce's take on Tanev and see if he thinks Tanev can live up to the hype, or if he will ultimately fall to the hands of the Germans. [Canucks Army]
- Want an in depth look at the Canucks moving into next season? YOU GOT IT, SO STOP BUGGING ME. Hell on ice gives an in depth look at all things 2012 Canucks! [Hell on Ice]
NHL News and Notes:
- Want to watch a video of an athlete getting shaving creamed in the face for the umpteenth time? Excellent. This is truly a terrible video. I'm sorry. It's just if I don't put an NHL link on here, Bettman cuts off one of Sean's fingers. I've probably already said too much.... [NHL.COM]
- Want to read an article that is best described as a literary masturbation over the teams in California while at the same time taking a giant dump on Canada? I knew you would! This is why we work so well. This. Right here. You complete me. [The Cheapseats]
- Brian Little explains how he got over being scared when people yelled at him. "In Winnipeg, people cheer things, and clap hands, and generally make a lot of noise. To tell you the truth, I've never seen anything like it. In Atlanta, that kind of shenanigans gets you kicked out of the arena." explains Little. [Portage Daily Graphic]
- Gary Roberts, not content with scaring people from skating with their head down, has now ramped it up a notch to making players scared to eat anything without asking him first. "It's all about the feeling of power, really." explains Roberts. "I mean, hitting people was cool and all, but when you have a guy texting you to ask you if its ok if he eats some beans? Man, talk about an aphrodisiac." [Globe and Mail]
Off the Stanchion Link:
- Who ordered the slightly effeminate Canucks? [Deviant Art]
Video of the Day:
Oh hey, could you pass the salt-
INTERCEPTED BY BURROWS
Alex Burrows OT Winner Vs Chicago - Handshakes - R1G7 2011 Playoffs - 04.26.11 - HD (via CanucksHD)
If you're like me, you like to watch this goal to start your week off right. Also, enjoy the gif I made of the celebration. Using Ron MacLean technology I read the players minds and was able to add some captions of what was being said.