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And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with Province blogging pimpage)

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It's Monday. I have nothing inside of me to make this Monday better for all of you. My wit and banter has left me today, leaving me a bitter and angry man. So basically I will be Damian Cox for a day. *runs and throws up*

Anyways, the Canucks had a huge game on the weekend, beating the Caps 7-4, and the BC Lions are one win away from claiming first in the West. In other words, October is almost over in Vancouver, so our regular sporting world can continue on as usual. Gone is bumbling, stumbling October Luongo, and enters the Limousine Ridin', Jet Flying, Kiss Stealin', Wheelin' Dealin', Son of a Gun Luongo we all know and love. WOOOOOO. /Ric Flair

In other news, the Canucks new goal song might actually be growing on me. It also helps that I got to hear it seven times in one night. Also kudos goes to the dudes dressed up as Cookie Monster and a Care Bear, as well as the the guys dressed up as Mario, Luigi, and Wario at the game on Saturday.

And finally, the Canucks have to be happy that we are no longer the team that had the worst loss in sports this year, as the Texas Rangers showed there are even worse ways we could have gone. The Rangers ended up losing in seven games to the Cardinals after being one strike away from winning the world series, not once, but twice. Which is nice, because now we only have to hear "The Penguins did it, so can the Canucks!" vs "The Rangers and Penguins did it, so can the Canucks!". Saves us precious characters on Twitter.


Vancouver Canuck News:


  • This is the part where I pimp the crap out of the Province blog contest. I'll keep the pre-amble short so as not to annoy people who may have already ready them. Basically Jeff Angus, Thom Drance, Cam Charron, and myself will be pimped on occasion. The rest of the contestants can BURN IN HELL /Samuel Jackson Mode. Up first is my article on the many facial expressions of Roberto Luongo. Intrigued? You damn well better be. GO READ AND VOTE YAY NOW. [Province Sports]
  • Jeff Angus covers the scariest Canucks of all time. Which hampers my ability to make a joke because any player I would normally make fun of will most likely be on this list already. [Vancouver Province]
  • Cam Charron is confused by Don Cherry. I assume this will be a weekly installment. [Province Sports]
  • Do you like sing-a-longs? Do you like Roberto Luongo? Well then you've just died and gone to heaven, my friend. Ta-Da, Thomas Drance as he is known to you mortals, has done up a song for you to get your Monday started. [Province Sports]
  • The Vancouver Canucks hope the worst is over according to the National Post. Canuck fans might agree. MIGHT. I'm not sure yet. Either way, as long as Boston keeps sucking worse than us, I figure the Canucks have two more weeks before Canuck Nation implodes and we start turning our attention to the national Scrabble tournament. The article is littered with funny quotes from Canuck players, so at least on the surface it looks like the Canucks have finally found themselves in a good place mentally. [National Post]
  • Ben Kuzma weighs in on the gift that keeps on giving in Higgins and Lapierre. One of the best deadline deals in Canuck history (Brown/Hedican/Lafayette and Ronning/Courtnall/Dirk/Momesso being the other two contenders. Kind of weird St. Louis wasn't behind Lappy and Higgins as well.), Higgins and Lappy continue to provide us with depth that is more versatile than any depth we've recently had. Lapierre alone makes that fourth line actually useful, which is a god send in and of itself, and the fact Higgins can make an impact on our previously terrible third line just shows how useful they are. Read more at [Province Sports]
  • The Washington Post has a story about why Bruce Boudreau pulled Tomas Vokoun. Intrigued, I dove into the story to find out this gem....because Vokoun wasn't very sharp. Thanks, Washington Post. [Washington Post]
NHL News and Notes:
  • As if the Tim Horton's crappy commercials couldn't get worse, we find out Timmy's Hos will be sponsoring the NHL 2012 All-Star game. I can't wait to hear more stories about fathers purposely being assholes to their kids but in the end it's all cool because they cared from afar. *runs away crying* [NHL.COM]
  • The Ottawa Senators are enjoying a five game win streak. Shhh, nobody tell them it isn't going to last. [National Post]
  • Scott Arniel, ex Vancouver alumni, might be on the chopping block in Columbus due to meddling owners (Insert Scooby Doo "If it weren't for those darn kids!" quote.) I might have felt bad for him, but if he's fired, he no longer has to coach in Columbus, so I don't know how this is a bad thing. [Winnipeg Free Press]
  • Carcillo was suspended two games. Shockingly, SHOCKINGLY, he did not enjoy or agree with this. [WEEI]
  • Apparently the idea for making the NHL a four division kind of place is picking up steam. The Penguins don't like the proposed idea, which means I was all for it before even reading about it. [Yahoo Sports]
  • Can the NHL step into the NBA's shoes? Assuming we add a shot clock and neck tattoos, we should be good. [Globe and Mail]
  • The Guardian UK of all place has a pretty good piece on the 5 things we learned in the NHL in October. A tip of my hat to them. [Guardian UK]