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And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with more shameless self promotion)

Stanchionmania is running wild!
Stanchionmania is running wild!

What did President Obama say to Roberto Luongo?



Three men walk into a bar. All three BOOOOOOOOOOOO Luongo.


Why did the "Boo" cross the road? To "Boo" Luongo.


With that out of the way, let's get to the important stuff. The Province is dealing with the loss of the Kurtenbloggers by opening a contest for anyone to try their hand to be the new voice of the voiceless, the blogging community. Yes, they are opening up a month long trial where they will pick people to strut their stuff to see if they have what it takes to become the next unpaid poor SOB who gets to fetch Botchford his coffee and pick up Tony Gallagher's dry cleaning. I have thrown my name into the hat to see if I can somehow dazzle these people into letting me write for them, which means my dream of photoshopping Canucks onto odd pictures can be taken to an even bigger audience.

I have no idea who else has entered (Has any of our NM brethren joined up? I don't know yet, we missed last weeks meeting due to Dan insisting we watch a Glee marathon to catch up to him) but if you like my stuff, or any of my NM friends stuff should they have joined, please support us and send us good luck kittens. (A good luck kitten is any cat that has a loonie duct taped to it somewhere.) 

With that being said, I hope I can continue to write here for a long long time, so with that out of the way, let's get into some good old fashioned hockey news!


Vancouver Canuck News:


  • In an exciting story about Andrew Alberts....who am I kidding, every single story is about Roberto Luongo. Eric Francis comes to the defense of Roberto Luongo and wonders why everyone is on his case. I maintain it's because Luongo refuses to do a Head and Shoulders ad with Troy Polamalu. JUST DO IT ALREADY! [SLAM SPORTS!!!!!]
  • Everyone's favorite twitter BurrowsGirl has also weighed in on Andrew Albert's wait, it's Luongo again. Marda weighs in on how people react to adversity being the key to many things in life. So if you're like me, you still haven't recovered from when you found out Ghostbusters wasn't based on a real life story. [Marda Miller]
  • Want to know Andrew Alberts favorite band? Wait, what, we're still on Luongo? Oh ok, that's cool. Rob The Hockey Guy, he of the infamous "jerk" blog post from yesterday is back, this time breaking down the stats of Roberto Luongo. He even uses the Count from Sesame Street to help illustrate a point. [Rob The Hockey Guy]
  • FINALLY Andrew Alberts gets his......are you.......**** you. **** you. Here is Ed Willes on Roberto Luongo. [Montreal Gazette]
  • Andrew? Nope? More Luongo? Awesome. Puck Daddy has more criticism about Luongo. This time it's about his choice of commercials. You read that correctly. Someone takes Luongo to task for a poker commercial. [Puck Daddy]
  • Isn't there a game today? More Luongo? You sure. Alright. Here is TSN on the Luongo situation. [TSN.CA]
  • Holy crap, non Luongo news! A gameday preview from Gord Mcintyre! The best part of this article? Pekka Rinne saying the Vancouver series was his favorite of his long long long playoff career! [Province Sports]
  • What's the worst news I could tell you right now? If you said "Samuelsson still gets to man the point on the PP!" well then you should probably leave the room. Samuelsson has full backing of the coaches to man the point on the PP! That's insane. Keith Ballard could sneeze incorrectly and he was benched last year, but Samuelsson can be garbage on the PP for games and nothing happens. If you ever needed a REALLY easy way to make it look like we miss Ehrhoff on the PP, replacing him with Samuelsson is a smart move. [Vancouver Sun]
  • I am getting my Andrew Alberts story damnit. And I had to go to the ends of the earth to do it. I went to the forums where they discuss hockey players girlfriends. Want petty and pathetic rumor mongering NOT from Eklund? Go here and read people discussing Alberts girlfriends! It may just be one of the most horrifying places on the internet of all time! [Talk Sports: GIRLFRIENDS]
NHL News:
  • Soooooo I picked Kessel in my pool, eh? In the 7th round. Dude is on FIRE right now. Love it. Anyways, he had a 3 point night last night as he helped the Leafs come from being down 3-1 to win 4-3. (Winnipeg sure does like to choke on those kinds of leads.) Anyways, read about why Kessel has found his game at [The Star]
  • Want an awesome Vancouver HF Boards trade proposal so bad it's actually funny? It's even a 3 way deal! Read it all at [HF Boards]
  • Scheifele scored his first goal for the Jets by the way. But he is sad because they lost the game. Yes, this kid is going to be a player, he is already putting together his cliches nicely. []
  • Aside from the 13 year old girls who love Crosby, the middle aged men who love Crosby based purely on the fact they like to be fans of the best player in the league, and my buddy G, no one is feeling too badly about the Penguins injury list. I am sure Canuck fans are dying to find out about their injuries since we probably have a lot of sympathy after the Stanley Cup Finals **** parade of injuries we went through. [Vancouver Sun]
  • Apparently soccer is going to put NHL franchises at risk. Alright. [Toronto Sun]
  • Ryan Miller, ever heard of him? Here is a story about him. I found it bland, but you that could be because it's 2am in the morning. [Montreal Gazette]
  • An interesting look at the careers of Colin Wilson and Cody Hodgson and how hard it is to develop young talent. [Montreal Gazette]