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And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with more fake hat tricks)

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Safeway Score and win better watch out for those fake goals being handed out in Edmonton, all it will take is a spirited effort by Ryan Nugent Hopkins and he might end up with a 5 goal game. That being said, it's late, I have a crap load of work to do, so let's get this show on the road! Today we start right in with the TSN comments, with the newly titled header of "Embrace the Hate"!

Embrace the Hate: 


- Shockingly 'oilman3' supports the Oilers and has already informed as that we are stupid on a whole other level if we don't realize the Oilers are a match for the Canucks already. In other news, I think I might be a billionaire soon because a sizable deposit from work was put into my bank account. I assume, based on this one occurrence, that it will continue to happen every day. I would be stupid to think otherwise.


- Oh look, a Hawks fan. I am going to hazard a guess and say this guy didn't even bother watching the game. I am going to hazard another guess and say this guy posts the same comment after every Canucks game. In fact, I bet it's how the majority of his conversations go in real life. "Hey Bill, get that report done yet?" "Canucks sure are dirty. They've lost a step too. Go Hawks!"


- Ah yes, the world in which one goal wins are not legit wins. I guess in a world where phantom hat tricks are handed out, 1 goal wins are a scary thought since we have no idea if that one goal lead is real or not. A man ahead of his times this Nelson95.


-Did someone's PVR break and not record the 3rd period? I'm thinking yes.


-Seriously, is this a 'thing' now? To mock a team for only winning by one goal? Do people not find this argument sad and pathetic? What next, mocking the Canucks for not scoring 3 goals while sleeping with 2 hookers at centre ice?


-The nice thing about moonshine is how easy it is to make.


- And let's end on a strong note. I can't really argue this logic. Nude Ryan Kesler destroys team chemistry. Fact. How can it not? Jealousy is an ugly thing.


Vancouver Canuck News:


  • Want to see a lot more than just Ryan Kesler nude? I bet you do. In fact, I bet that's why you logged on this morning. Well I've got you covered over at my blog, I have half the Vancouver Canucks doing nude photo shoots. Give it a look see at [Off the Stanchion]
  • Brad Ziemer goes on player quote detail and comes up with several from the Canucks as they dicuss their start to the season. Described as a "work in progress" by head coach Alain Vigneault, we can only hope this team turns it around when the heart and soul returns to the lineup. Aaron Rome, we await your arrival.
  • The Toronto Sun talks to Nugent Hopkins about his hat trick and describe him as "ho hum" about it. That's because he didn't get a hat trick. RNH was off the wall ecstatic about his two goal game, however. [Toronto Star]
  • Want to know how horrifying Cody Hodgson's diet is? Not only does it include a lot of rubber from AV's foot up his ass, but it also involves zero sugar and a crap load of organic food. It's a stark change from the "6 pack and 2 pack" diet of Al Iafrate. [Montreal Gazette]
  • An interesting read about Gillis' daughter. What? I need a joke for this?? You monsters! One must never joke about the National Post! Go read it! [National Post]
  • Kesler is apparently eager to play. Shocking I know. The only problem is if his return and NHL domination is legally allowed by the NHL. "We're looking into it, but we might have to ban him from playing. Union rules. He hurts a lot of players feelings by being so much better than them" explained a NHLPA rep who wishes to remain anonymous. [Vancouver Province]
  • SLAM SPORTS! God knows why I enjoy Canoe articles so much, but god help me I do. They re-count the stunning 5 seconds of ice time Hordichuk had last game as well as let us know that Corey Potter will probably stick around for a while, leaving me with a million Harry Potter jokes to bust out on Twitter every time the Nucks play the Oil. While I was typing that Hordichuk threatened to beat me up, but tripped on my sofa pillow and will be out 4-6 weeks. [SLAM SPORTS]
  • Bad news, folks. Sturm feels 100% physically fit. The problem is all mental. Cloutier-itis is upon us. [Vancouver Sun]
NHL News and Notes:

  • The three former NHL'rs in Grimson, Nilan and Thomson have accepted Don Cherry's apology, and will not be pursuing legal action against Don Cherry. Instead they will jersey him and beat him to a pulp. [Puck Daddy]
  • John Tavares, remember him? He was long long long before Ryan Nugent Hopkins. Well he has had two 4 point nights in a row. But he's on the downhill of his career, so who cares. Long live the Nuge! If you want to read about a useless bum in Tavares give it a read at [Globe and Mail]
  • Eklund lists the Canucks getting Turris at an E4. I would link you to a picture of a giant turd, but I will spare you that indignity. 
  • Drew Doughty is apparently taking a vacation after signing that long term deal with the Kings. "I see what Dipietro does. Why should I work every single game? That's a lot of games. Someone has to win the McDonald's monopoly game, and I won't be doing that if I'm playing" explained a short breathed Doughty. The Kings popped him on IR for 7-10 to days with what is being called "not a concussion" *wink wink* [Toronto Star]
  • Surprisingly a Flyers writer tells Zach "My last name shouldn't be" Rinaldo to tone it down a little bit. This is really weird. That's like your super alcoholic friend suggesting maybe you shouldn't drink as much. What world is this?? [GCOBB]
  • "Man do the Jets ever suck, good lord" said myself, 18 years ago. It's nice being able to re-use old material. The Jets are 0 and 3 and look like garbage. They have scored just 5 goals. And have allowed 13 goals. I don't see what the problem is, this looks like good old fashioned Jets playoff hockey.  [Toronto Sun]
  • Clutterbuck accuses people of sticking to the glass to avoid pain, the Coyotes accuse the Wings of leaking movement rumors to the press hours before their first playoff game last year, and Zetterberg amazingly likes the idea of Detroit moving to the East. Read this and more at [Tucson Citizen]