Tuesday, Nov 9, 2010, 4:30 PM PST
Enemy Blog: Habs Eyes On The Prize
Enemy Pro: Josh Gorges (Kelowna), Ryan O'Byrne (Victoria) and Carey Price (Williams Lake) are all decent blokes. Also strip clubs.
Enemy Con: Everyone in Montreal is a shitty driver. Also Brian Gionta is fantasy team arsenic.
INT: Bell Centre, November 9, 2010, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Enter Alain Vigneault followed by his starting lines. Jacques Martin meets him at center ice with his players. A meeting of the minds follows...
Martin: I see I was wrong to expect Vancouver's commitment to at least match our own.
Vigneault: Doesn't it?
[points to Habs player behind Martin]
Vigneault: You there, what is your profession?
Gomez: An elf at the Santa’s Pen kiosk in the mall. You know I help decorate ornaments with Sharpies by drawing dots on the ends of letters, it's so festive and all the kids really love...it....sir.
Vigneault: [points to another player] And you, Les Habitant, what is your profession?
Kostitsyn: Extreme Pita mascot, sir.
Vigneault: Extreme Pita mascot. [turns to a third player] You?
Plekanec: Turkey artificial inseminator. With honors.
Vigneault: [addresses another player] You?
Markov: Sears Portrait Studio photographer.
Vigneault: [points to another player] And you?
Price: [Looking down, kicks at dirt, hands in pocket] I have no talent.
Vigneault: [Looks to his left] How about you?
Gionta: Amputee fluffer.
Vigneault: [Points towards the back of the group] You?
Gill: [Drooling with one eye twitching, Gill stands silently dumbfounded before falling over and crushing Subban]
Vigneault: Indeed. [points to one final player] And what of you?
Cammalleri: Chicken sexer.
Vigneault: [turns back shouting] Canucks! What is your profession?
Canucks: [in unison] WIN! WIN! WIN!
Vigneault: [turning to Martin] You see, old friend? I brought more hockey players than you did.