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If you don't laugh at it, you'll pop an artery

It could only happen to this team and this city.

After years of goalies literally digging their own graves, only Vancouver could be so direct with their manlove of one to first break silly, archaic league rules and make him the captain and unquestioned microphone magnet only for him to get injured and, less than two months later, have their only healthy goalie be a kid from Marblehead, Massachusetts (no joke) who - just this time last week - had precisely zero real NHL experience.

C'mon, this is good shit! If you can't laugh at this, you can't laugh at anything (which would then suggest you have no soul and are dead. And I, frankly, appreciate all readers regardless of proximity to their mortal coil).

If Sanford is indeed injured, I ask you this: can Schneider keep this canoe afloat until Luongo can shift side to side safely again?

Of course he can. I think you have to forgive all his mistakes (flubbing stoppable shots, falling over his own skate, etc) for a bit. Not only is he young but that spotlight (you know, subbing for God) has got to burn. If not now, you can tell he's going to be a great NHL goalie.

The bigger issue, as you likely know if you watched the Blue Jackets game, is the team in front of him is playing like idiots:

A week ago, they wouldn't have blown a third-period lead, Daniel Sedin would have scored on a key breakaway -- and Kyle Wellwood certainly makes good on a late, great scoring chance...A week ago, someone covers Kristian Huselius, stopping him from one-timing the game-winner with 4:44 left. A week ago, the Canucks don't give the Blue Jackets eight power plays and Cory Schneider doesn't lose an edge, falling down and allowing fourth liner Andy Murray to beat him.

I think the guys are guilty of believing all the hype we threw at them after they reeled off four straight wins against top tier teams a week ago. Now they are falling over themselves to catch up against Columbus? No offense Jacket fans...actually scratch that. Take offense: your team isn't good. And neither is how my team is playing. We all suck.

The slim light on the horizon is that this team has beaten Detroit and Minnesota already so, Luongo or not, they know how to do this. And the way to do that is to play precisely how they aren't playing now: a tight, disciplined style with aggressive forechecking and smart defense.

Or, they can continue making the same mistakes and leaving their poor rookie goalie out to dry, they can continue giving away points they shouldn't be while teams behind them catch up and finally we, as fans, can spend our holiday gift money not on presents for mom or the girlfriend but on hard alcohol and mixers (just be sure, in your stupor, you write out a semi-legible card to give the loved one blaming the Canucks for the fact they have no gift. If he or she truly loves you, I'm absolutely positive they'll understand).

And, lastly, as the trade freeze deadline looms, a variety of injuries and the potential of a three game losing streak becoming much longer, when does our "aggressive" GM make a move to help this team? Maybe he already has and failed, but can someone with access just ask? I'd like to know he's doing more than gathering frequent flyer miles.