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Laughing at the misfortune of others

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I may as well leave this up through the weekend (newest on top) since I have a feeling there will be several items that should provide a sound foundation for hardcore laughter and overall schadenfreude.

>> Vancouver finally grows weary of Schultz (6/23)
I thought management was pretty high on the guy; they sure were last year with Carter leaving the Sedins. But oh well, meet Jimmy Sharrow who hasn't played an NHL game yet but tore up the QMJHL a few years ago.

>> Vancouver finally grows weary of King (6/23)
And the good news about getting Ryan Shannon in return? We now have a picture of a current Canuck holding up the Cup. God bless small miracles.

>> Nucks grab a guy with a splendid-sized skull (6/23)
What, am I wrong? Patrick White, welcome aboard. As for the rest of the kids?

  • 2nd Round- 33rd Pick - Taylor Ellington D (Everett, WHL)
  • 56th Pick (Optional to CHI)
  • 61st Pick (Optional to LA)
  • 5th Round - 145th Pick - Charles-Antoine Messier C (Baie Comeau, QMJHL)
  • 5th Round - 146th Pick - Ilja Kablukov LW (CSKA 2, Russia 3)
  • 6th Round - 176th Pick - Taylor Matson C (Des Moines, USHL)
  • 7th Round - 206th Pick - Dan Gendur RW (Everett, WHL)
>> Vokoun laments even playing hockey for a living (6/22)
So pretend you're poor Tomas who has been stuck in Nashvillle since 1998 and never got out of the first round in three playoff attempts. Finally you got over a battle of blood clots and the team turns a big corner in 2006-07 and, wouldn't ya know it, they decide to scuttle themselves in anticipation of a move north so after a decade of yeoman's work you find yourself right back in the confines of another expansion home. Although it could be always be worse (see below). How's Alex Auld taking this?

>> Toskala joins the Toronto asylum (6/22)
Actually, I post this more for Vesa himself: "Hey Vesa, you are familiar with the city and their, ahem, hockey issues right? I won't burden you with repeating them then. Here's a tip: there's this kickass mutual fund called the Vice Fund; they basically invest in vice-related industries like booze, tobacco, gambling, porn, what have you. Now, seeing how your personal investment in such areas may skyrocket during your time as a Leaf, I would suggest you pay yourself in the end with some sort of long term financial strategy investment along their lines. However, do not loop in Bell as he doesn't really need anymore of this type of help."

>> Aucoin waiving the no-trade to move to Calgary (6/22)
Keenan, you dog you. Nothing says "we're going for it all bitches!" like getting a defensemen who's played an entire season three times in his eleven year history (and over 60 games a season only six times). $4 million against the cap for a guy who could theoretically miss half the season due to a wonky groin? I salute you Michael. Please keep Stuart while you're at it too.

>> Nonis wanting to move up in the draft (6/22)
No sweat, let's mock us first. I pray this is a rumor because this team has far more pressing needs then drafting a hometown kid for the shits and giggles of it. Also, need I even bring up that our draft history is deplorable? And losing Kesler makes no sense in this equation. None. Don't make me start drinking like it's the Vancouver/Anaheim series again...