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By Lucifer’s Beard!

Utah tried to kill me, it really did. But after getting stuck in the state for a bit longer thanks to the NYC area deciding to have an ice situation over the weekend, I am back home, sore, sunburned and immediately bored by having to return to my normal routine. The fact people snowboard for a job is just not fair. Not one bit.

Anyway, I've utterly clueless about the hockey world in the past ten days. First, permit me to recap my stupid attempt to play Sylvia Browne and guess what lurks in the future.

- March 10 - 1 for 3. Although I was semi-right with the Chris Simon suspension. Kinda sorta but not really. Oh well, at least the fucker is gone for a bit.
- March 11 - 0 for 3. I was really close on the Avs/Wild one for what it's worth.
- March 12 - 0 for 3 again! Christ I suck. Is Saskin still around?
- March 13 - 0 for 2. But hey, I got the Canucks/Wild score right, just the wrong victor. Brownie points people, brownie points.
- March 14 - 1 for 2. I'm ignoring I got the score of the Flames game wrong, but the Avs still embarrassed them and, since I'm sucking completely at this guessing thing, I'm counting it.
- March 15 - 0 for 3. GRRRRRR. I am one goal off in each one! See? This is why I just drink at casinos and watch others gamble.
- March 16 - 1 for 1. Boo yeah bitches, 100%.
- March 17 - 0 for 2. Not even close on this one.

So, in total, I went 3 for 19 during the week. 6.3% accurate. Christ almighty, that should be the new tagline of this blog.

The lesson learned? Be vaguer next time.

Looking at the Canucks in the past week, it seems they’ve done their normal thing. Not blowing anyone out – save for those filthy car whores from Michigan – but doing what they do best: eeking out one goal victories and riding Luongo like a rented mule. Sucks to see the Wild keeping pace, but it’s a mammoth delight to see the Flames falling slowly out of it. C’mon Avs (shit, did I just say that?) you can catch them.

Once I sleep a bit and breath in the shitty New York air a bit more, I’ll be back to normal. In the meantime, the Canucks can beat the Preds tonight. I’m leaving it at that since I can’t predict anything accurately and want to embrace random vagueness like, you know, half of my elected officials prefer to do....