Morning, everyone. Most of you are back to work today, those of you who aren't can go fuck yourselves because I am bloody exhausted. The Canucks got tooled over the weekend, some other shit happened. Nicklas Jensen and "Dolla" Bill Sweatt were recalled from the Chicago Wolves. Alright, lets get at it!
>> I don't know if there's any other way to say the Canucks got boot-fucked on Saturday other than using the term boot-fucked. But it happened, and they're in San Jose tonight to take on the Sharks. Ben Kuzma can't play Mario Bros. 3 to save his own life, but he has a piece on the recall of Nicklas Jensen and "Dolla" Bill Sweatt.
>> The Canucks Hat Trick from Saturday's gong show against the Edmonton Oilers is courtesy of Jason Botchford, who I can assume beats the shit out of Ben Kuzma head-to-head on Mario Bros. 3. Also from Botch, the Luongo to Toronto thing is still a thing, apparently.
>> Do you like yellow visors? I should fucking hope not because they look so stupid. Anyways, a couple of hits from Canucks Army this morning. One from Patrick Johnston where he talks about five defensemen the Canucks should target at the trade deadline and one from Thomas Drance where the Canucks say they haven't purchased the Peoria Rivermen...yet
Apparently that is all for the Canucks on this sunny and not so shitty Monday morning. Why don't we see what the rest of the assholes are up to this morning?
The Other Guys:
>> The San Jose Sharks are expected to trade winger Ryane Clowe today. The Flyers are the apparent frontrunners with The Canucks, Minnesota Wild, New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens all in the running as well. My guess is that he goes fucking nowhere today and probably to a team I didn't list. Why not, right?
>> Apparently this is a good signing? Ladislav Smid re-signed with the Edmonton Oilers today, four-years $14 million dollar extension. Good for him, I would literally hate to see this douche bag be over paid come July 5th.
>> Who had the Flyers leading the league with the worst fucking injury luck of all time? Not me, but I'm sure someone did. Anyways, Max Talbot is out for the season with a broken leg.
>> This is the shittiest thing I've ever had to link to, but over the weekend a player died as a result of an on ice head shot in a Kazakhstan hockey game.
>> Talk about shitty luck, but it seems to follow Sidney Crosby around these days. The Pittsburgh Penguins captain will be out indefinitely with a broken jaw. All this after taking a Brooks Orpik slapshot to the face.
I think that's where I'm going to end it today. Get outside and enjoy the sunshine so long as it doesn't get you fired from your indoor job. Take care and thanks for reading!