Good morning, everyone. Hope your morning is going well and you are able to enjoy this sunshine. As usual there is some Canucks news and some other news, oh and the Calgary Flames traded Jarome Iginla. Lets get at it!
>> Ben Kuzma has never beaten Mike Tyson's Punch-Out even though he'll tell you otherwise, he's full of shit. But today he talks about how all eyes in the hockey-mad Vancouver are on Zack Kassian, or Ogre from the Revenge of the Nerds movies.
>> Tony the grandfather of Shap and the father to the Crypt Keeper Gallagher says this season feels eerily similar to last year. He's right, except this year I'm fighting off the chickenpox at 28 instead of just being a miserable asshole at 27.
>> There's only so many times you can say this, but why not say it again and in the exact same way it's been said all year. But Roberto Luongo is handling his situation in Vancouver like a pro. Slow news day huh? Must be for Willies.
That's all this morning, but lets be realistic here. Mike Gillis could announce that he had one to many Jamaican jerk wings and is perched on his toilet for the day and it wouldn't make it past the Iginla to
Boston Pittsburgh news. Lets see what those other assholes are up to today.
The Other Guys:
>> So the Calgary Flames apparently traded Jarome Iginla to the Boston Bruins last night, or at least that's what TSN's Aaron Ward reported. Then at around 10:30 PST the Flames announced that they had traded Iginla to the Pittsburgh Penguins. THEN at around 10:35 I went to the store to grab a pop and a bag of chips, because really I didn't give a fuck where he went, just as long as he went somewhere he had a chance to win it all.
>> If Scott Hartnell is right and Penguins forward Evgeni Malkin is in fact the ugliest guy in the NHL then you would have to think that Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin is a close second, maybe more so now that he tweeted his face after being cut by a puck today.
>> Hey, remember when it was all but certain the Phoenix Coyotes had a prospective owner who had the funds to purchase the team from the NHL? Yeah, me too, maybe more than once. Well, anyways, there's an Alberta investor who is apparently interested in the team.
>> This is both funny and sad, but Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk is working with forensic investigators to prove that Matt Cooke intentionally cut star defenseman Erik Karlsson. You can't make this shit up. Well, you can and you could probably make it a little more believable than this, but here we are, talking about forensic fucking investigators.
That's where I'm going to leave it for today, folks. Hope everyone gets out there and enjoys the sun, even if it's for a little while. Thanks for reading.