Lifeguard Off Duty (Goin' in the Pool)

Amazing how distracting houseguests can be, eh? You and I are going to pretend what happened two weeks ago *never happened*, all right? Good. Now that the unpleasantness is put aside, what the heck happened last week?

The biggest news, of course, is the Quicker Pickers kicking Zanztorm's ass 10-2-1. What other news does there really need to be? Well, there was AmeriCAN Win It All misunderstanding the English language, but that's to be expected: it's not called "American" after all.

Lost of movement on the waiver wire as at least a couple of teams realized that two goalies might not be enough to hit the magical "three drink game minimum" to register any points from them, and injuries to goalies can be devastating when you're relying on one too heavily. I will not mention Roberto Luongo or Corey Schneider in this paragraph.

As for the matches themselves, it was a week of cross-divisional play:

In The Division With That Guy Who Thinks A Worse Divisional Record Should Be Winning, Zanstorm lost a huge amount of ground playing outside their division, finally getting some real competition, despite his getting a solid week from Andrei Markov who somehow still isn't broken for the year. AmeriCAN Win It All took advantage with his trio of Lindback, Varlamov, and Reimer somehow beating out Smith, Backstrom, and Lehtonen (what, seriously?) ans Beantown Canuck's team apparently has given up scoring for Lent. AmeriCAN gained 7-3-3 and some shiny new petulance!

In The Division With That Possibly Racist Team Until They Bought Me A Lifetime Supply Of Latkes, Jew Crew barely eked out a 6-5-2 win against the Douchebags despite them being the top team in the league playing against the bottom. (I'm sure there's some kind of platitude about "no easy games in this league", but Zanstorm proved otherwise, so...) The only possible answer is the absence of Kevin Bieksa: once he's back, everything will be fine. Right, Canucks fans? Meanwhile, RipYouFaceOff took a 7-4-2 win from BW, as the BW's decided that it was easier to be injured than actually play.

Division Awesome Names had the top two teams get a little closer as marcness52 just beat out Amazing SchneiderMan 7-5-1thanks in part to Getzlaf and Parenteau racking up assists left, right, and centre. Well, just centre and right, I suppose. Getzlaf looks like he's going to hit last year's 82-game numbers this year, which is a nice bonus. As for second place ?vistlove, he went 8-4-1 against LaFayette's_Post94, highlighting the hazards of going with two goalies. Again, no mention of Vancouver's current situation, and don't you love my restraint for it?

Finally in what is clearly the Most Awesome Division, the battle for eighth in the league got tighter as HankYouVeryMuch lost to Booth's Kills, who are doing far better than their namesake going 9-4 in week 18, riding a suddenly red hot Sergei Bobrovski who picked up his first NHL shutout last week. Hank going a team-wide -18 didn't help matters much, either.

So that's last week's results in a nutshell and cracked. Which team would you look forward to beating savagely, if you had the upcoming chance to play them?

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