Morning Buzz: Canucks in Dallas tonight, Hansen worse than Hitler?

USA TODAY Sports

The Canucks are in Dallas to take on those bastard Stars. Jannik Hansen has been given a one game suspension for being worse than Hitler, or at least that's what Chicago fans and others are the blogosphere would have you think.

Good morning, everyone, sorry for how late this may or may not have been posted, but lately real work has been a mother fucker. Hoping that changes in the next week or so. Anyways, we've got some Canucks news, NHL news and apparently, Canucks fans and players a like are worse than Hitler. Wonderful. Lets get at it!

Canucks News:

>> Lets play a game, shall we? Lets count how many times from here on out Jason Garrison says "work in progress". Jason Botchford shaps the spring, the flowers and the criticisms of Vancouver's newest number five D-man, Jason Garrison. The blueline blender is in full swing, too.

>> On the other side of things, Thom Drance from Canucks Army talks about why it's premature to assume this is a demotion for Garrison, and why it's to early to abandon Edler on the right side.

>> From the Legion today, J Bowman who thinks that Ned Flanders is a jerk has video of Henrik Sedin's three most important points in his record breaking career.

>> In case you've been under a rock for the past few days, Jannik Hansen received a one game suspension for his hit on Chicago Blackhawks forward Marian Hossa. The NHL called it "an illegal forearm to the head". I'm anxious for them to explain what a legal forearm to the head is.

That's all for the Canucks this morning. I'll edit accordingly if we get some other news. Wonder what those other assholes are up to?

Edit (Sean Z): Hey Mitch, ya slug! Roberto Luongo admits to Dan Murphy that he regrets the controversy he created by certain comments he made in the 2011 Finals (ie: Pumping Tim Thomas' tires):

Look at Lou, all grown up.

The Other Guys:

>> Speaking of big body checks, I mean...big LEGAL body checks. Watch Colorado Avalanche forward Mark Olver make St. Louis Blues rookie Vladamir Tarasenko's eyes roll into the back of his head.

>> It's a miracle! Only one game after having blurry vision, Detroit Red Wings goalie Jimmy Howard has been cleared to play tonight. Good thing, too, because those intense conversations he was having with lamp posts were starting to get a little weird.

>> Chicago Blackhawks will provide an update on Marian Hossa's condition today, though I would imagine he isn't puking and high-fiving himself anymore if he's on the ice this morning with his team mates.

>> Washington Capitals forward and the leagues highest paid 30 goal scorer, Alex Ovechkin says he's trying to get back what everyone first knew of him.

>> After Pittsburgh Penguins forward Tanner Glass called Philadelphia Flyers Daniel Briere a cheap player, Glass and Briere's teammate Wayne Simmonds went at it in quite the fight.

>> In what can only be described as a huge kick in the balls, the Carolina Hurricanes will be without Jeff Skinner for quite sometime. The ex-figure skater is out indefinitely with a concussion.

That's all today folks. I'll update this as the day goes along, but for now I have to get back to my real job of cashin checks and snappin necks. I get paid to do that.

Thanks for reading!

- Mitch

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