Have you ever wrapped duct tape around your your head? Word of advice if you haven't: Don't. Canucks beat the Wild for their sixth straight win last night. Some other shit happened, probably.
Morning, everyone, how's the day treating you? I hope you didn't split your pants like I did. Today is not coming up Milhouse, that's for fucking sure. Anyways, the Canucks played last night and so did a bunch of other shit heads. Lets get at it!
>> Jason Botchford won't return my calls, even after several delicious candy grams have been sent his way, but he talks about the Canucks win last night and how through the abuse, Henrik and Daniel Sedin just kept on keeping on.
>> Also from Botch, some quality shap in terms of the Nightly Provies. Quite possibly my favorite of the season.
>> Ed Willies talks about Keith Ballard and like most people this season, doesn't rip him to shreds. Dare I say this, but Keith Ballad is having a...good year? It fucking looks like it.
>> And finally, the last from the Province is Ben Kuzma with the White Towels Canucks Hat Trick.
>> Mikko Koivu might be a communist. Well, ok, that's not fair at all. He's not, or at least there's no story pertaining to that idea, but one thing he is? An equipment stealing douche bag. Daniel Wagner from Pass it to Bulis has a video of said equipment thievery. Daniel also has a recap of his own from last night's game if you're interested in reading that.
While it's early, it appears that this is all for the Canucks right now. But, for the sake of conversation, a certain radio personality and Media Shapper of the Year award winner may (or may not) have suggested the Canucks inquire about the services of hold out Ryan O'Reilly. What do you guys think?
Anyways, lets see what those other assholes around the league are up to.
The Other Guys:
>> Consider this a bit of a two for one. Former Calgary Flames defender, Rhett Warrener (Rhett? K.) says that Flames captain Jarome Iginla's refuse to lose mentality isn't there anymore. Also, he takes a shot at Dany Heatley, which I always condone. "Not Dany Heatley slow..." Top fuckin' drawer, Rhett.
>> The Columbus Blue Jackets are being credited with a first. No, not packing it up and calling it a day and a total failure to have a team in fuckin' Ohio, but they've hired the first European GM. The BJ's announced that Jarmo Kekalainen will be the new GM, taking over for Scott Howson who couldn't suck stank at a stank sucking factory.
>> Last and certainly least, a little salt in the wound of the Edmonton Oilers. Don't fuckin start with the "How many Cups>" argument. Half of that team wasn't even out of a nut sack the last time they won, but Ryan Nugent-Hopkins hasn't scored in 23 games. But he isn't letting it get him down.
That's it for me, folks. Have yourselves a great day. Don't split your pants, and if you can avoid it, don't use the Starbucks mens bathroom. Thanks for reading!